And there was a time, many hundreds of thousands of years ago, before your grandparents were born, that the Elvish gods of the Seldarine and many others walked the forests of Oereth like you and me. Coraleaon Letherian and all his children walked, ran, played and had huge celebrations, because the forest was bountiful, it shaded the hot daytime sun, and protected his children at night.
But the evil one-eye, the god of all the orcs, saw their merriment, and was jealous of their good life. He saw all his children living in harsh, blasted rocky areas, open plains, and desolate gorges, and a huge nasty hatred welled inside him. He hated the elves having the advantages of the forest, and wanted it destroyed. Without any more forest, the forest people would have to work harder for a living, and would stop celebrating all the time, which kept him awake at night.
Now he wanted the forest destroyed, but he knew he couldn’t fight the father of all Elves directly. So the evil one-eye came upon a devious plan to fool Coraleaon Letherian and catch him unawares.
Many centuries before, the two gods had fought with one another, and Coraleaon Letherian had wounded him in the face, removing his eye. One-eye knew he had to convince Coraleaon Letherian that the years had changed him, and that he really wanted peace for both their children as well. One-eye left the broken dwelling places of his people and went to the edge of the forest.
As he approached the edge of the forest, he sensed its pervasive life and bounty. He knew that if he waited at the edge of the forest, the elf gods would learn soon enough that he was there, and come and talk with him. He found a large tree stump and sat upon it, looking around and occasonally slobbering.
Wiping his mouth, he said to himself, “Careful now, we musn’t give the impression we are acting preditory. We will prove to these elves we are friendly, and once they believe, their guard will be down and I will be able to destroy the forest for all time.”
Saying this, One-eye gibbered and slobbered all the more, thinking of devouring elves and forest alike, but being very powerful, regained his composure and expunged all traces of deceit from himself just as the wood elf patron god came skipping along.
Rilfane Rallathil saw the orc god sitting there, and whipped out his bow to shoot him down.
“Stay your hand, good elf.” One-eye said. “I have come only to talk to your king.”
Rilfane Rallathil, surprised to see One-eye, stopped for a moment, and saw One-eye was just relaxing in the sun, sitting on an old stump.
“I can scarcely believe my eyes!” He said. “Here is one-eye, relaxing, not acting fearsome or evil at all!”
One-eye just similed, a nice friendly smile. “Can I talk to your king, please?” he patiently asked again.
Rillfane nocked a different arrow, and shot it deep into the forest. He chatted pleasantly with One-eye while they waited for Coraleaon Letherian to respond. Other fey folk, sprites and pixies lit upon Rillfane’s shoulder and around the area to see the legendary enemy of elvenkind, acting so pleasant and amicably. Before too long, a small glowing star came flitting out of the forest. It stopped, assessing the situation for just a half-second or two, then materialized into a beautiful young woman, the epitomy of elven beauty. Coraleaon Letherian, as a beautiful elven maiden, began to also talk with old One-eye, and after a while even invited him to walk with them in the forest.
As they left, the fey folk stopped and waited at the edge of the forest.
What they saw, that none of the gods did, was one single green leaf growing out of a root of the old stump where old One-eye had been sitting. After the other gods had walked off, the leaf grew, and finally became a foot. Like a balloon popping, the stump bubbled into the elven god of Mischief and Change; Erevan Ilserie. He had been sitting in the field just outside the forest, and when he saw one-eye approaching, he had become a stump to glean what the old orc was up to.
“My little friends!” He said to the fey folk. “We need to warn the others of One-eye’s horrible plans! Coraleaon Letherian thought to break one-eye’s disguise by appearing as a beautiful young woman, but One-eye was ready for that. We need to convince him of One-eye’s evil!”
So Erevan Ilserie made magic, calling his father’s mind. “O father of all Elves, take heed my warning! Old One-eye is trying to trick all of us into a trap!”
After a few minutes, Coraleaon Letherian returned Erevan’s message: “Worry not, my son. One-eye is ready to embrace Elfkind as his people’s friends. We should always try extra hard to see the good in others that are not like us. I do not want you to influence his journey here.”
“Horror!” Erevan said to the fey folk. “One-eye’s magic is strong and very subtle. It’s up to us to break it for all to see!”
With this, Erevan ran up to an oak tree and lept inside. An instant later, he emerged from another oak miles away, near where the Coraleaon Letherian and one-eye were walking. He watched the two from high up in a tree, and then lept out of the tree in front of them as they walked underneath.
Coraleaon Letherian smiled and greeted Erevan, but at the surprise, for the slightest second, One-eye began to frown. He quickly recovered, though, and smiled at Erevan greeting him happily as well.
Seeing these changes, Erevan Ilserie instantly came up with a plan. “Coraleaon, my father! To welcome One-eye to the forest, let us throw a huge banquet tonight, with singing, dancing, games and other fun. It’s the least we can do for such a distinguished guest!”
Coraleaon Letherian agreed, and all the elves of the forest rushed to make preparations. As Coraleaon Letherian and one-eye walked off, Erevan Ilserie smiled oh so mischievously, rubbing his hands together. He was going to make preparations, too.
When the hour of the feast was come, everthing was ready. Elves are one of the few races that really know how to put on a feast, and this was an espeically big one. There were meats, breads, fruits, cookfires, long tables with fancy tablecloths, elaborate centerpieces, and musicians at the tables, and in the trees, all dancing, playing, and having a wonderful time.
Old One-eye and Coraleaon Letherian arrived together, to fanfares and cheering by all the elves and fey folk of the forest. From the beginning, though, One-eye seemed to be having the worst luck. As he sat on a huge chair hewn from a solid oak stump, the chair collapsed, seemingly a victim of dry-rot. The waiters constantly kept tripping, one even depositing a hot roast down One-eye’s shirt. When food finally did arrive, and One-eye took a bite, more often than not, it was an exact replica of food made out of tissue paper he bit into. Each time One-eye asked for a refill of wine, the poor waiter accidentially delivered it to someone else. As the evening progressed, One-eye’s inviolable will began to crumble. He laughed less and less at the misfortune that was happening around him, and even stopped smiling every now and then.
Finally, it was time for the fairy dance. The tables were cleared, and hundreds of fey folk flew down to take their places. The music started slow, but cheerful, the fairies zipping to and fro in a complicated rythim, laughing and cheering. As the music picked up tempo, they zipped to and fro faster, their tiny wings beating the air in all directions. They say that sitting in a fairy dance is like standing in a swarm of butterflies, or feeling warm snowflakes bounce off your face in time to the rockus music getting louder and louder. For most folk, it is quite a pleasant experience, but old evil One-eye wasn’t enjoying it nearly as much. In fact One-eye kept smiling throughout the dance, but his smile became more and more contrived at every measure. As the music drew to a climax, and the fairies were dashing everywhere at once, One-eye’s solitary eye became almost frenzied looking, his nice demeanor, nearing the cracking point.
Then the fairy dance was over, the fairies returning to the trees and back to find something else for them to eat. One-eye breathed easier, finally. He was feeling calm and in control again, when Erevan Ilserie appeared with a covered silver platter held high above his head. He moved deftly betwixt the mass of party goers, and in one swooping motion, deposited it in front of the old Orc. Erevan hopped up on the table and addressed the throng.
“To all and to you, old One-eye! The finest apple pie in all the forest!”
Erevan swept the cover off the tray, revealing the most appealing apple pie that anyone has ever seen in the history of the universe. It was baked perfectly brown, with cinnamon-sugar crumblies on top, perfectly roasted cinnamon-apple wedges showing through, and the lightest, most flakey crust to ever be baked.
Though he had been eating all night, old One-eye’s stomach instantly grumbled, and he reached for the pie, ready to devour it in a few large bites.
Suddenly, the pie lifted, and was catapulted directly into old one-eye’s face. Perfectly toasted cinnamon crumblies cascated from his hair, perfectly roasted apple wedges impaled on his horns, and the lightest, most flakey crust ever to be baked, sliding down his face.
Gollyondella the most mischeivous pixie had hidden under the lid, and thrown the pie right into his face.
Everyone immeadiately erupted in laughter, Erevan Ilserie was well known for his jokes of epic proportions, and this one was surely his finest. But soon a new sound was heard - that of perfectly roasted apples burning in scorching red-hot heat.
Erevan’s final joke had broken old one-eye, his demeanor of niceness had fallen away, and his face twisted into a red-hot evil grimace!
“YOU ANNOYING, ABRADING, PUNY, NOISY, IRKING LITTLE CREATURES!!!” One-eye boomed. “I’LL KILL YOU ALL!!”
So saying, One-eye burst in flames, suddenly 20 feet tall, bellowing so loud nearby trees were blown over. A few last pieces of perfectly ashed crust fell away from his face, and he grabbed for the pixie that threw the pie at him. His huge claw tore into the table, and scooped away a chunk of oak table, the sliver platter, and a kewpie doll that looked exactly like Gollyondella. Crunching these things into a ball, and bellowing in rage again, the huge fearsome apprearation of One-eye oriented on the rather innocent looking figure of Erevan Ilserie, still standing on the remnants of the dining table.
“Tut, tut, Mr. Evil-orc.” Erevan said. “No sense of humor at all.”
The apparation was about to attack Erevan Ilserie, but it sensed the other elven gods had begun to put together a resistance against him. Lablias Enoeth the Elven god of longevity was making all the plant life in the area young and green so they wouldn’t burn. Goddess of the air, Aderie Fayena was making some kind of big magic, while Solonor Thelandissa god of archery and hunting and Rilfane Rallathil were taking aim with their bows, and Coraleaon Letherian was drawing his sword made from the point of a star.
The apparation of one-eye bellowed again. “I MAY NOT KILL YOU ALL NOW, BUT I WILL KILL YOU ALL, AND THIS FOREST WILL BE MINE!”
So saying, he vanished into flames, and whisked away back to the places of his people, harsh, blasted rocky areas, open plains, and desolate gorges. After he had left, Coraleaon Letherian sheathed his sword, and walked over to Erevan Ilserie. Knowingly having disobeyed his father’s wishes, Erevan Ilserie looked back into his father’s eyes. As his father began to speak, Erevan bent down and whisked a crumpled, burnt and twisted pie tin off the ground.
“Can I get you some pie?” He asked.
The party continued late into the early morning, without old One-eye.
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