TOMO’S TALE: PART II:

Nuriko sighed as he watched Tamahome and Miaka making out under a tree.

"Oh, why doesn’t Hotohori-sama love me?" he wondered. "It seems that lately he hasn’t even been noticing me." It had been a week since Nuriko had entered the guy auction and Haruka had bought him.

"Haruka-san is nice, but I want to help Hotohori-sama be happy again." Nuriko wandered around the palace walls, and saw Chiriko and Chichiri >fishing together, and Mitsukake petting Tama. "Everyone else has someone except me..." Nuriko looked one more time. "Hey Tasuki isn’t here! Maybe he can help me!" Nuriko didn’t have long to look for Tasuki. The sound of hard pounding feet came closer and closer to Nuriko. A sweaty Tasuki with his shirt off was running fast towards Nuriko.

"Ah, Ohaiyou, Tasuki-san!" Nuriko called out. Tasuki stopped running and panted. "Out for an early exercise?"

"Oh just shut the hell up, Nuriko!" he growled.

"Damn", Nuriko complained. "What’s your problem??"

"Ever since that fucking guy auction, I’ve had 50+ plus girls chasing me!" he screamed. "I don’t know how the hell to get rid of them!" he complained.

"Wish I had your problem," Nuriko sighed.

"Why are you so glum?"

"Hotohori-sama just won’t notice me!" Nuriko confessed.

"Oh, is that all." Tasuki said sarcastically as a faint pitter-patter could be heard in the distance, and a dust cloud could be seen approaching.

"Oh shit!" Tasuki cursed. "Not again! Sorry, Nuriko, but I’ve gotta run." He turned to run some more.

"Wait!" Nuriko cried desperately.

"Oh what is it?" he said urgently.

"How do you think I can get Hotohori-sama to notice me?"

Tasuki looked nervously at the approaching herd, whose drooling faces could now be seen. "Oh how the hell am I supposed to know??! Cut off your head, for all I care!" he suggested desperately as the leader of the crowd, Tasuki no Miko, held up Tasuki’s torn shirt, and warned him.

"Last time we caught you, we got this off of you. How ‘bout we take off your pants next?!" she suggested.

"OH SHIIIIIIIIIIITTTT!!!!!!!" Tasuki screamed as he ran for his life. Nuriko had to shield his eyes from all the dust the crowd of gawking females created.

"My, my, Tasuki is sure in deep shit," Nuriko commented to himself as he walked towards the lake where Chichiri and Chiriko were fishing. He plopped down next to Chiriko, and let out a loud sigh. Nuriko glanced up to see if Chiriko had noticed, but he was too busy talking with Chichiri. Nuriko coughed a couple of times, but he still remained unnoticed. Nuriko nonchalantly began to sing.

"Mizu ni utsuru tsuki o miru kara yurete shimau...."he paused to see if the pair had noticed, but they remained in deep conversation.

Nuriko exploded. "What the hell am I supposed to do to get someone to notice me??!!!" Chiriko looked up innocently.

"Why, Nuriko-san, you look upset."

"Damn right, I am!" he screamed.

"Hey, don’t use such language around a kid- no da" Chichiri reprimanded him. "maybe we can help."

"Oh well, Hotohori-sama is very depressed, and I want to cheer him up, but he won’t even notice me," Nuriko explained. "Chichiri, you were engaged once, how’d you get her to notice you?"

"I don’t know- no da", Chichiri admitted. "We just sort of fell in love- no da."

Nuriko, desperate for an opinion, turned to Chiriko. "Chiriko, tell me what I should do."

"Well, I’m not much of an expert on this subject, but they say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Why don’t you cook Hotohori-sama something nice? I’m sure he’ll appreciate it."

"Hey, that’s not such a bad idea, kid," Nuriko told Chiriko as he stood up. "I think I’ll go and cook him something."

One hour later, Hotohori heard a tap at his door. He lifted his head up. "Yes, who’s there?"

Nuriko opened the door a crack. "It’s me, Nuriko. I thought you might want to eat. You haven’t eaten all day, so I cooked something for you."

"That’s very kind, Nuriko, but I want to be alone."

"But I put so much time and care into it!" Nuriko protested.

"Take it to the others. I’m sure they’ll enjoy it." Hotohori suggested as he slumped back into his chair. Nuriko held back his tears, and slowly dragged himself back into the kitchen. Once he was in there, with the door closed, he let his tears flow.

"Oh, it’s just no use!" he sobbed. He buried his face in his hands. "If only I were really a woman, then maybe Hotohori would notice me." Nuriko continued to feel sorry for himself, until he remembered what Tasuki had said: ‘cut off your head for all I care!’ Nuriko looked up.

"Hey, that might not be such a bad idea!" He thought. "If I cut off my head, Hotohori-sama will have to notice me!" He picked up a butcher knife, and eyed it critically. He gritted his teeth, and slashed his head off. He caught his decapitated head in his hands, and thought. "Hey, that wasn’t so bad! I think I’ll go show Hotohori!" he carefully walked down the hall, and opened Hotohori’s door.

"Oh, Hotohori-samaaaaaa!" he called. Hotohori turned his head, saw Nuriko, and screamed.

"Nuriko??!! Why???!!"

Nuriko was at a loss for words, because the blood was draining out of his head.

"Oh my God!!" Hotohori said. "Mitsukake!" he frantically called out. "Mitsukake! Come quick!!"

A minute later, Mitsukake came into the room followed by Chichiri, Chiriko, Tamahome, and Miaka. "What is it, Emperor?" Mitsukake asked. He then noticed Nuriko. "GOOD GOD!!!!" he screamed. Nuriko’s head smiled. Mitsukake hastily picked it up, and set it back on Nuriko’s neck. He then used his healing power to set it back on.

"Are you all right, Nuriko?" Miaka asked consernedly.

"Yeah, thanks, Mitsukake", he said casually.

"Shit," Tamahome said. "Why’d you have to go and do a thing like that?"

"Tasuki gave me the idea," Nuriko replied.

"Hey, where is Tasuki anyway?" Miaka wondered. Just then, a huge cloud of dust ran across the palace grounds. Among it, Tasuki’s screams could be heard.

"Damn- no da", Chichiri commented. "Sounds like he still hasn’t gotten rid of those girls- no da."

Nuriko frowned at Chichiri’s use of ‘damn’. "Don’t use such language when Chiriko is in earshot." he told Chichiri.

Chiriko frowned. "Shit, I’m 13 years old!" he insisted. "I’m not a baby. It’s not like I haven’t heard the word ‘damn’ before!" Nuriko and Chichiri shrugged their shoulders.

"Hmph," Tamahome said. "I wonder what they even see in him!"

"Aw, shut up, Tamahome," Nuriko said. "You’re just jealous because you don’t have 50 girls chasing after you." Tamahome’s face turned bright red, and he grinned sheepishly.

Later that night, Nuriko went to Tasuki’s room to thank him for the idea of cutting his head off. "Aw, what the fuck do you want now, Nuriko?" he demanded.

"My, my, aren’t we vulgar today!" Nuriko commented as he sat down next to Tasuki. "I just wanted to thank you."

"Thank me for what?"

"For giving me the idea to cut off my head for attention. It worked like a dream."

"What the HELL??? you cut off your head??!!"

"Well, yeah. Mitsukake healed me."

"Shit, I didn’t really mean that seriously!" Tasuki laughed.

"Well, now, I wanna do something for you," Nuriko said.

"Like what."

"Well, would you like to get rid of all those girls chasing you?"

"Oh, damn right, I do!" Tasuki declared.

"Well, it just so happens that I have an idea."

Tasuki backed away from Nuriko. "You’re not cutting my head off, are you?" he asked suspiciously.

"No, I’m gonna dress you up as a woman."

"What!" Tasuki shouted. "There’s no way in hell that I’m going to dress up as a woman!" Tasuki was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Oh Tasuki! We know you’re in there!" A few girls called.

"Oh, what the hell," Tasuki told Nuriko. "Dress me up quick." Nuriko quickly went to work. Meanwhile, the girls outside began to sing Tasuki’s songs, in hopes that Tasuki might be drawn out by them. Nuriko finished, and admired his product. He had replaced Tasuki’s former earrings and necklaces with some of his own pearl jewelry, and he had snatched one of Miaka’s school uniforms, and had shoved Tasuki into it, adding some stuffing to give him breasts. As a final touch, he added a bow into Tasuki’s long orange hair. "My, my", Nuriko commented. "You’re gorgeous, Tasuki!"

"Yeah, whatever." Tasuki shut him up. He then said in a loud voice. "Okay girls, I give up. Here I come." He opened the door, stepped out, and struck a dramatic pose. "Like my new ‘do??" he asked them with his eyes closed, one of his hands on his hips, and the other on his hair.

There was complete silence for a moment, and then a sniffle, and gradually, the whole crowd began to bawl uncontrollably, and they slowly walked away. As soon as they were away, Tasuki picked up Nuriko, and whirled him around.

"YEEESSSSS!! It worked!!" he gleefully cheered. "Nuriko, you’re so fucking awesome!!" He grabbed Nuriko’s face, and gave him a big kiss. Nuriko returned this with another passionate kiss. The two made out, Nuriko hastily ripping off Tasuki’s uniform, and then---

"Tomo!!" Soi complained. "What the HELL are you doing?!! Tasuki is not gay!!"

"Aw, come on Soi. He’s just so handsome, I thought I’d change his sexuality in my shin illusion." Tomo whined.

"If you keep up fan fics like this, we’ll be up to our ears in hate mail!" Soi exclaimed. "Besides, Tasuki’s much too manly to be gay!"

"Oh, all right," Tomo agreed. He closed his shin, and set it aside...for another day.

THE END >: )=