7/22/98

The Ugly Asian Gidget Girl

is on the train

standing there holding a bag

from the Rampage Clothing Company

looks like a trendy thing

for an ugly girl trying so hard to be

beautiful

(at least i think so)

I am watching, noticing, scrutinizing her

tan-too-tight-crop-gidget pants

that are hideous but all the rage this summer

with big granny panty lines

and cheap platform shoes with sloppily red-painted toe-nails

coarse black hair pulled into a ponytail

with a mismatched scrunchie

and orange highlights that try to be blond

topped off with one of the most

pinched

and

hideous faces

that i have ever seen

I stand there

reading Bukowski

half watching half reading

half scrutinizing and half thinking

and feeling bad for her

looking like that

and trying so hard

to be attractive in this world where attractiveness is

everything

and i'm thinking of

the way i look

my skinny tattooed body

ragged green-painted fingernails and unkempt hair

and wonder if the gidget girl

that i'm picking apart this lovely

horribly hot july morning

is staring at me

and thinking

something

along the same lines

of what i'm thinking of her

and i'm hating

the society

that makes us all

such

elitist

bastards