Okay, this is a letter that I got from someone in my email box. I have never met this person before, or had any previous conversation (unless they changed their name and decided not to tell me- you decide). The following convo ensued. *my comments are in italics*
*they wrote:*
i don't want to talk to u ever again! so bye!
sugarsweet_18
uh, okay. I talked to them before?
*I wrote:*
you've heard from me before?
s_squared
*they wrote:*
I don't remember you tell me more abut you before you stop
talking to me!
I don't even think I gave you me my email how did you get it?
Do you know who this is? Don't get a attitude problem about me you don't know me! I don't know you so you better tell me who you are and when we talked! Wait are you d14u?
Okay, first of all they sent me an email stating they never wanted to hear from me again, then procede to respond to my letter saying they don't know me and don't remember talking to me? Then they demand a response. Can we say contradictory?
*I wrote:*
lol, I think mebbe you have the wrong email address,
because I've never talked to you before
*they wrote:*
What ever are you a girl or a boy or both because you have a
boy name and a girl computer name? You don't know how to spell how old are you? You spelt maybe like this mebbe thats wrong! LOL thats funny! you make me laugh so hard! Well bye if you can read this better than you can spell! idon't know if you should write back you might spell something wrong!
First of all, I have a boy computer name? Where would they get such absudities? And then they procede to pick apart my spelling, one of the many words which I INTENTIONALLY spell wrong... and why? What was the end result they were hoping for? Do they really think I'll be offended by some stranger with fifth grade level spelling, grammar, and articulation trying to correct me? Do they have waaaaaaay to much spare time on their hands?
*I wrote:*
Well imbecile, we don't seem to be getting anywhere fast, so perhaps I should explain a few things in your limited language. For one, I am very much a girl...and if you think that 'sarah' is a boy name, then you are seriously mistaken and phenomenally deluded. As for the comment about my "girl computer name", I see no reason why you would know it in the first place. Therefore, since you are not familiar with my computer name, you are unable to pass any judgement upon the nature of my name-bestowing abilities. Secondly, in response to your heinous comment about my
spelling (which, I might add, cut me to the quick *rolls eyes*), I know that you are not in any position to judge, seeing as you have an articulation and grammar problem yourself. In fact, I would go so far as to recommend you pick up a couple of books. Let's see..."English for dummies", or "So, you're in school but you still can't write a proper sentence" may be immensely helpful in your situation. If you haven't been exposed to the abbreviated forms of some words or the "computer slang" which is often used by almost everyone, then you are in serious need of
a basic life lesson, not to mention the fact that you lead a sheltered life. Anyone that has ever touched a computer knows that "mebbe" means maybe and that it is DELIBERATELY spelled wrong to sound more like everyday conversation. Since you
apparently wrote this letter, I am led to believe that you have actually touched a computer. What baffles me is the complete lack of computer skills which you possess. Perhaps you could explain this phenomenon to me?
Alright, so now we have covered most issues. The final point I would like to address is age. I am not prepared to divulge my exact age, but from a few inferences that I have made based on your email writing skills, I am able to say that I am CONSIDERABLY older than you. I say that I am considerably older because I estimate your age to be in the range of about 7 to 10 years old. Now, this is only an estimation, so if you are younger, please do not be offended. I am extremely pleased that I was able to bring you merriment from my last response, although I cannot see any humour in the spelling of the word, "mebbe". As I have pointed out previously, this is only a manipulation of the english language in order to simulate an actual conversation. Now that I have addressed the most pressing problems from your last reply, I have one last query: Has it not sunken into your thick skull that we are not, and never will be, accquainted? Let me translate for you: FUCK OFF.
*they wrote:*
I'm not stupid and I'm not seven to ten years old infact I'm older than you
think! I'm probably a lot cooler and more mature than you because I don't
take my anger out on someone I don't know! I don't keep writing to someone
and tell them how stupid they are which I'am not stupid! I would Ilke you
to know that I have a friend that I talk to on here and she is older than me
,and enjoys what I have to say (unlike you)! I wanted to know if you were a
boy or a girl because the first name I saw of yours made me think you were a
boy. So don't get yourself all bent out of shape. Another reason I'm more mature than
you is that I don't sware at people I don't know! I would be happy to talk with you if you
wouldn't be so mean! I don't think that we will be talking because you can't except the
fact that I'm much more cooler than you! I didn't think that Sarah was a boy's name I just
didn't know if d14u was a girl's name. Well I have to go now so I can talk with my
mature friends who don't take their anger off on me! BYE FROM SOMEONE
COOLER THAN YOU you can write back if you want to if you think you can
handle a cool and mature person!
The clincher: "you can write back if you want to if you think you can handle a cool and mature person!" Wasn't the whole point of their first letter to state that they wanted to end all correspondence with me? (even though I have never conversed with them before). I think I'll just leave this one alone. I mean, how can I expect to respond to such stupidity and have my message sink in? how can anything sink in to someone from such a shallow end of the gene pool? *lol*
In conclusion, I must say that I have a newfound respect for people that work with people as a vocation. I know one other person, RAY from jokeaday (www.jokeaday.com) understands, because he gets letters like this REGULARLY and handles them with such wit and patience you just gotta admire him. Check out his website!!
Also, If YOU want to correspond via e-mail with the same WONDERFUL people I had the pleasure of meeting, feel free! BK and MB
