Here some things that I scribbled down when I really had nothing to do. Most of them reflect what I think about the world around me. I hope you will like it.
I was all alone.
Cold hungry and tired.
My mind full of hatred and revenge.
Slumping lifelessly against the cold walls of the underpass.
A mouse went by.
It saw me and laughed.
'So that's what you humans become without your machines and money' he sneered.
'You can't even survive in this iron city you built'.
I took a swing at it.
It skittered all the way across the pavement.
It struck the wall and shook.
Shaking not with pain but laughter.
Then it cried.
It cried so loud that the heavens could hear it.
'You slaughtered my wife and poisoned my sons,'
'What right do you have to do that.' It sobbed.
'We were just looking for a living.'
'For your convenience, you destroyed our kingdom and
placed us in this cage
for you to slaughter.'
I listened.
I pondered.
I cried too.
I'm no different from that mouse.
Driven away from my house.
By strangers I never even know.
Now I have to beg for a living.
Getting beat up by gangsters and spat at by kids.
All because of trust.
The mouse was gone.
Then it appeared.
A piece of rotten fruit in its mouth.
It ate it right in front of me.
It looked at me with devise eyes.
It spat at me.
I was too tired too retaliate.
Helpless.
Even against a mouse.
It ran away.
Footsteps.
A long shadow fell across the floor.
I peered at its owner.
The light was glaring.
My eyes focused.
It's Him.
HIM!
He passed by.
Not even looking at me.
I shouted.
No sound.
I'm dead?
He was almost infront of me.
Burning with hatred, my body shook.
Bursting with anger, my body rosed.
It moved.
How smoothly it moved.
It moved behind him.
Just at a distance it followed him.
No nearer, no further.
It stopped when he stopped.
It moved when it moved.
All I could do is curse.
Cursing him.
Cursing my body.
Cursing Heaven.
Cursing Hell.
Cursing,Cursing,Cursing.
He didn't hear.
he didn't notice.
He just moved on and it just followed.
Then two angels appear.
Angels in white.
Angels from Heaven.
They took me to Heaven.
Heaven.
I was crying.
Crying with sadness.
Revenge.
I can't do that.
I'm dead and in heaven.
God was in white.
He spoke.
I remained silent.
Very silent.
The angels stood.
God spoke again.
I was silent.
The angels took me to a cell.
Trapped.
I screamed..........
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Boy that's terrible."
"You'll get used to it."
"What's his problem?"
"I heard his father gambled away everything he had. Loan sharks were after him. His father committed suicide, after killing the wife and almost ended his life. He just turned crazy......"
(All characters are fictitious and is not to represent any similar incident in the past or the near future.)
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Live life
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Feelings. Somehow in this vast universe, something with no definite shape or type or appearance has to be created. You can never describe one. You can never see one. To be able to understand it, you would have to experience it yourself. But even after that you might not even know what it is. Its different everytime. I somehow feel that I’m trapped in a room built of walls of feelings. I keep knocking into them as I could neither see nor hear them. If you hit into a soft one, don’t enjoy too soon, for a second later, a very hard one is awaiting you.
Someone once said that Man is free to go wherever he wants, but everywhere he goes, he gets tied down by chains of emotions. Subtle but very true. We live this life cherishing the hope that someday we would end up with happiness and self-fulfilment. We gamble everyday, reaching for things that we believe would satisfy our needs. After we get it, we may find that it was not what we hoped it would be or it does not last as long as we want. But whatever the end result is, the proceeding is the same. We reach once again for more.
Take time ask ourselves, what do we really want? Money, with it you can get a lot of things that exists in this world. With it there’s no hunger, thirst. You can buy a good time with it. You can have all modern technology can offer you. You can use it to build mountains and tear down one if you feel like it. But once you decease, once you’ve breathe your last breath, all will be lost to you. Many others will snatch it away from you like their lives depended on it.
Power usually comes second in mind. Power to command a whole army to wipe out another. Power to make people obey your every wish and fancy. Power to make dead people alive and living people dead. It really satisfy you doesn’t it. But usually in this scenario, one could get really carried away and make one little mistake. You make another to cover up the first. Soon you will be making all sorts of them, and you will be dethroned. Those who once suffered under you would grab every chance to destroy if not torture you.
Fame. Everyone loves you, appreciate your talents. Fans cheered whenever you appear. Whatever you do, everybody wants to know. But you would have no personal life. Your every living detail is known by everybody. You can’t afford to do what you really want. You fear public opinion. You do what the public wants or you lose everything. You belong to the public but not to yourself.Love. You found it at last after years of struggling. Yes, true love lives beyond the boundaries of time and space. Someone is willing to sacrifice everything even itself for your well-being. Someone who can listen to you and you can listen to. Never be able to do without the other. You feel heavenly with each other. Then things start to happen. Your bodies break down with old age. It is really an experience to see someone you love fade away. Tears and nights without sleep. Fear of the other will depart anytime from now. Nothing you can doubt just stand there and watch. You may choose to die together in each other arms. You fool yourselves that in this way, you will be together forever. Well things isn’t what we plan.
A combination of all will be nice. Yes, with money to satisfy your desires, power to live forever in fame and the arms of your lover. The earth may fall apart, you can rebuilt anything at anytime you wish. You may even stop time and even go back in time. You would have all, but you find something amiss in life. You find that even though you have everything you ever wished for, you feel that life is boring. There is no challenge, the basic instinct humans are made of if not anything. But then again you are in a white suit with your arms strapped behind your back in enclosed room with soft walls with only one window. You are crazy because everybody knows that nobody can ever have all. Whatever you are in life, there are people competing with you. People will be jealous of what you have and what they don’t have. Or some people are may just be better than you are or you are not appreciated by anyone though of your talents. Maybe you are born in the wrong place and time or opportunities that you missed that could never get again.
There are a lot of things that could go wrong. You will never predict what is going to happen in the next minute. You can only assume with the nest of your knowledge and experience. Who knows in the next instant you will die of a lighting strike or a heart failure. Maybe you will choke on your own saliva, or just lose conscious of everything. We all live in uncertainties. Some people turn to religion for an answer. In fact plenty, judging from the number of religions there is in the world.
Religion may tell you that you are here for a reason. You will return to the icon of the religion if you follow the rules and regulations of the club. If you don’t make it this time, you can try again or end up suffering for eternity. Just follow and you will be saved. Don’t question, things works in mysterious ways. Question, there is an answer for everything. Its up to you to believe or not. Many feel its better to believe. Some gives you a reason to live. Some makes you understand where you come from and promises a well to do future. Many of such developed to suit our kind. Created basic humanity rules or practices, after a long period of experiences passed down from generation to generation. Do bad be punished. Do good be rewarded. Common sense that one good turn deserves the other and one that even in nature you see everywhere in the food chain
We are just creatures with a well developed sense of thought. However most of us tends to misuse it once too often and destruction and suffering occurs. What good is it to put a man on the moon if you cannot stop what you love from being destroyed or fading away by acts of nature or otherwise. There are a lot of things out there unexplored and unexplained. Though we may be smart enough to create weapons of mass destruction, we are stupid enough to create it and put it in our own backyard, knowing that it could blow up and destroying everything one day. We are smart enough to save lives and stupid enough to commits acts of violence that ends many. We are smart enough to survive and yet with no concrete evidence of what put us here.
My philosophy is simple. Enjoy what you can within your boundaries. Boundaries made of self -conscious, ethics and things that you care enough not to destroy. Upkeeping the boundaries sometimes means that you have to do things that you don’t want to or sacrifice for the other. Different people have different boundaries. Live life as it is intended. Enjoy every breath of air you take in. Don’t get frustrated over petty little things unless it provoked you boundaries. That’s a cost of upkeeping too. Don’t question the unecessary. It will works although you may not understand it at all. That’s how gravity works like nature intended.
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