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Siddhuisms

Money is like manure. It is not good until it is spread around!
The Indian cricket board is like vessel that leaks from the top.
Indian openers are like envelopes - They don't take you anywhere.
Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.
Kenya in South Africa was like a mountain having labour pains.
The batsman is as comfortable on this pitch as a bum would be on a porcupine.
The Indian team without Sachin is like giving a kiss without a squeeze.
Deep Dasgupta is not a wicket keeper, he is a goal keeper. He must be given a free transfer to Manchester United.
When you are dining with a demon, you got to have a long spoon.
One, who doesn't throw the dice, can never expect to score a six.
He is a wily fox. But, if we make the fox run, the chicken will become hen.
A fallen lighthouse is more dangerous than a reef.
A revolutionary idea is usually one with its sleeves rolled up.
If the heavens throw you dates, you got to keep your mouth open.
You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.
When you have a hen laying eggs you should not mind the cackle.
He is like a one-legged man in a bum kicking competition.
The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason.
Beware of the naked man who offers you his shirt.
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"Man you have just dropped the world cup " - Steve Waugh to Hershelle Gibbs when he dropped Steve going for a premature celebration of a catch he hadnt grabbed properly.

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The other one was in the '92 Ind-Aus series .... 3rd match at Sydney .... Shastri was batting and hit a shot which was well fielded by the 12th man Whitney and started for a run .... Whitney shouted on him " back to your crease else I'll break your head with my throw " ..... Shastri calmly replied "if you bowl as good as you field you would have been in the team and not the 12th man " ..... Incidently Shastri went on to make a 200 in that inning ....

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"Man, it don't matter where you come in to bat, the score is still zero." - Viv Richards to Sunil Gavaskar at Madrass 1983. Gavaskar had decided to relinquish his opening position and come in at no. 4 for that test. But Malcolm Marshall fired out Anshuman Gaekwad and Dilip Vengsarkar for ducks, setting the stage for Gavaskar to walk in at 0/2. And he thought there would be less pressure! BTW, Gavaskar made 236* then; the highest score by an Indian and the highest score by anyone against the West Indies. Gavaskar has also scored more centuries against the West Indies than anyone else. The next highest is also an Indian, pleasantly enough - Dilip Vengsarkar with six. Gavaskar made thirteen!

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Greg Thomas was bowling to Viv Richards in a county game. Viv missed a superb outswinger, and Thomas said "It's red, round and weighs about 5 1/2 ounces." Next ball Viv hits Greg Thomas out of the ground and replies, "Greg, you know what it looks like. Go ahead and find it!"

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Then there's the wicket keeper who quietly asked the new batsman "So how's your wife, and my kids?"

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New Zealand vs South Africa: Daryll Cullinan was batting, attempting a comeback from a complete bamboozling from Warne in earlier games. Cullinan played the first ball from Chris Harris very carefully back down the pitch, and keeper Parore yelled out "Well bowled Warnie!"

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Australia fighting for a win nearing the end of a Test Match, Fred Trueman at the crease. The Aus captain has plenty of close in fielders, whose shadows fall on the wicket. Fiery finds this objectionable. 'Ere, if you lads don't back off, I'll appeal for bad light!"

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Incident described in "From the Pavilion End" by Harold "Dickie" Bird)
"Bomber" Wells, a spin bowler and great character, played for Glocuestershire and Nottinghamshire. He used to bat at No.11 since one couldn't bat any lower. Of him, they used to paraphrase Compton's famous words describing an equally inept runner; "When he shouts 'YES' for a run, it is merely the basis for further negotiations!"

Incidentally, Compton was no better. John Warr said, of Compton "He was the only person who would call you for a run and wish you luck at the same time."

Anyway, when Wells played for Gloucs, he had an equally horrendous runner as the No.10. During a county match, horror of horrors... both got injured. *Both* opted for runners when it was their turn to bat. Bomber played a ball on the off, called for a run, forgot he had a runner and ran himself. Ditto at the other end. In the melee, someone decided that a second run was on. Now we had *all four* running. Due to the confusion and constant shouts of "YES" "NO", eventually, *all* of them ran to the same end. Note - at this point in time, the entire ground is rolling on the floor laughing their behinds out. One of the fielders - brave lad - stops laughing for a minute, picks the ball and throws down the wicket at the other end.

Umpire Alec Skelding looks very seriously at the four and calmly informs them "One of you buggers is out. I don't know which. *You* decide and inform the bloody scorers!"

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©RangaShyam, 2003