|
A very good friend of us whose first name is Jacques sent an e-mail
yesterday from Paris (Actually, he is living in a very nice district of
Paris near from Les Champs-Elysées and is quite famous, maybe you've heard
of him !).
So, Jacques wrote us that he is planning to make an exchange program next
term& & & & & ..in BI !!!!! Since he knows that Romain
and I are high-quality advisors and that we have spent one term in the
School, he is dreaming about, he asked us for some advice about BI, and
about Norway in general.
Here is our answer.
Cher Jacques,
You are coming to Norway as an exchange student for the next term and
you want the most precise description as possible of Sandvika and Norway.
You said to your mother you are coming to Norway because
you want to improve your English&
I think I have a precise idea about your real motivation for coming to
Scandinavia; be sure I won. t say it to anybody!!!
Yet we are glad you've chosen BI and Norway for your exchange
program. Please read the following carefully, and you'll see you've made
the right choice.
Norway in general
To begin with, we will tell you a little bit more about Norway& .you'll
see, this country is really& & ..special !
- First, do not believe what Swedish people say about Norway& .they
are trying to bullshit you !!
- Do not believe either what French people say about Norway: I swear,
I have never seen any polar bear here!!!!!
- In short, trust us, and only us. When we say that Norway is a beautiful
country, this is true. If we describe you how impressive and moving a
fjord is, even if you can hardly believe it, this is true. If we tell
you that you can have a swim in September on Kalvoya´s beach, this is
true.
First of all, don't talk to much in Norway. Don't say "Hello"
to every girl in the street as you use to do in France. Otherwise you
will go in jail as a sexual perverse!!!
In Norway, you have to act, so just start some body-building session,
learn once again how to ski, to roller, to swim, to sail, to hike, then
you will be integrated.
As I know your physical condition, you should better go to Barcelona!!!
- That's why we would really encourage you to travel once
you are in Norway. Go to Bergen, enjoy the spirit of its harbor in the
morning. Go to Stavanger& I heard of the chair of a certain priest
on which more than one hundred people can seat at the same time& can
you imagine it ????Go to Skien& you will see how beautiful& .you´ll
be impressed by& & well, no, don´t go to Skien !!!!!!
- But go to Oslo ! Enjoy the museums, the crazy atmosphere in the pubs
on Saturday night, have a lunch with the King, go shopping with the Queen&
.I mean, be creative !!!
- Some advice when you travel: Do not forget to prepare your matpakken,
to fill your thermos with Norwegian coffee (we´ll tell you more about
the Norwegian coffee further in our letter& )and especially, do not
go by train if go want to visit Bergen& .OK, then you have time to
observe the landscapes, but, the point is, maybe too much time !!!
Note: we did not mention Sandvika when speaking about all
the exciting places in Norway& ..It was by goal !!!
As an exchange student, your typical week would be:
MONDAY: Study, pasta, and meeting some nice people
TUESDAY: Study, pizza, meeting some nice people& + Television!!
WEDNESDAY: football pa Kalvoya and lasagna
THURSDAY: buying alcohol& The whole day !!!
FRIDAY: getting drunk (The whole night)
SATURDAY: getting more drunk than on Friday
SUNDAY: trying to wake up& No success!!
When it comes to the Norwegian girls in particular&
.dear friend, a lot to say about it !!!
Girls are really nice in Norway.
Their eyes are like the midnattsola shining on Narvik. Their
smile is a fire which burns down your heart. Their legs are the two perfect
pillars of the love you will build together for a life made of passion
and happiness. Their&
[Romain: "Julien, maybe you should stop here, don't you
think so ?"
Julien: "Yes, sorry, what was the following point already
?& .Norwegian people in general, Norwegian girls& ."
Romain: "Norwegian boys in particular maybe."
Julien: "Yes, that´s right. Thank you"]
Boys are really nice in Norway. They have eyes, smiles,
and legs.
[Romain: "Is that all ?"
Julien: "Yes, it is."
Romain: "OK, I will go on, then." ]
Courses at School are great.
In strategy, don't worry, you will have 3.8 at any homework,
and more, you will have FUN.
Anything you could say would be great, and more, it will be FUN.
The guy you previously considered as a cool student making
a cool show is actually the teacher.
Just call him NUT and it will be nice (Julien: & and FUN!!!).
We deemed that a couple of words about the Norwegian food
would be quite relevant. Here is a list of some Norwegian specialties
and our advice about each of them:
- Moose: Excellent. An entrecôte of elg with a Baconost dressing and a
flaske of a good Spanish wine, I swear it really helps when you are a
little bit depressed !!!!!
- Glögg: Very nice& ..Try it with a drop of Vodka.
Recommended in the evening with good friends and when it is really cold
outside.
Not recommended before an exam if the drop of Vodka is more than 20 cl.
- Milk: hummmmm. Fresh milk in the morning !!!!!!! That's way good !!!!
- Eggs: The same as in all the other countries we guess !
- Rekeost: Try once.
- Brunnost: Do not even try once. (I any case, as a foreigner, if you
try it, then you will have to say to your Norwegian host that you don´t
like it, so what´s the point ?!?)
Shopping is a tough thing in Norway.
If you don't have any money (actually, you WON'T have any
money), go to RIMI. But you won. t find anything there, so go to SUPRA.
But here you won't have any money to buy anything!!!
So the best strategy is to bring as more food as you
can&
Now that we gave you some advice about food, we can not
but speak about alcohol.
There are not that many special types of alcohol in Norway. Yet, the relationship
Norwegians have with alcohol is very typical.
- Norwegian people do not drink alcohol; they absorb alcohol.
- Norwegian people are never drunk; they are pissed.
- Norwegian people do not have a hangover the day after a party; they
have a Norwegian hangover, which is different.
Yet, as an exchange student, you will assess those "pissed-off-parties"
as excellent opportunities to meet a lot of people& ..and basically
to have fun !!
Soon you will know the KJOELJ& the KYOULJO& (Julien:
"THE KJOELLER´N" ; Romain: "Thank you, Julien"). It's the best room
of the school!!!
You are not here to enjoy your time but& to get drunk!!!
Don't look for any DJ´s& the guy in the cage is cooking
pastas.
If they play 24 times the same song, feel free, it is a
good one.
Then if you come to Norway, you definitely have to learn
Norwegian.
On Monday and Wednesday, 6 pm, meet Helen at school and she will teach
you more than you ever dreamed of& .
But do not figure it will be easy for you:
Repeat 173 times "kjoleskapet", let the others laugh at you when practicing
your "I", "U", "Y", and turn twice around the school on one leg saying
"jordbaersyltetoyet":
Only then, you will deserve the honors of the Norwegians and the encouragement
of your teacher: "Bra !"
During the cruise to Denmark, if a 60 years old drunk Norwegian
woman is jumping on you at the beginning of the trip& good luck&
the trip just starts.
Even if you don't have to buy anything in the Duty-free,
just do it, otherwise you will go in jail as a social trouble-maker.
Do not be fooled by the Masters of science. You usually
see them in the Think Tank behind a computer at 3.00 in the morning&
.
Impressive will you think& ..
Too serious ????
In fact not. They are working& .That´s for sure. But they do not use
the same softwares as we do. For Salil for example, Virtual racer II is
a very powerful databasis..interesting, isn´t it ??
To be a good group of exchange students, a group of exchange
student must be at least composed of four things:
- A Czech "MAC GIVER", I mean a man that can build a video recorder
with a chewing gum, a spoon and a piece of wood.
- A female Belgian leader that can even manage to gather people to see
an exposition a well-known Norwegian zoologist that studies the reproduction
of the pink shrimp.
- An official Austrian speaker. To be OK, walls must move when he laughs,
and everybody must enjoy the show.
- & and of course, to complete the group, a guy from the end of
the world - let's say Bangladesh -otherwise with only Europeans&
it would be so boring!!!
Let me finally introduce to you some nice people of the
international committee.
- Annette is the most friendly girl you will meet in Norway. She plays
football better than you will never do.
- Dag Thomas& ah, Dag Thomas& he is the only guy that would
accept a 60 years old woman to jump on him.
Of course, we can't mention everybody, but they will for sure do anything
to make your stay as good as possible.
We hope that our advice will be usefull to you.
See you soon in Norway.
Faithfully yours
Romain & Julien
Download in Word format, $
35.99.
|
