Boris the bantams player profiles

Player Profile

Player:  Matthew Clarke                                          

Hobbies: Rolling cigarettes round the back of the Kop, playing with his pogo stick and teasing Andy O'Brien about his silly hair.

Interesting tales about: Sheffield Wednesday reject at the start of the season. Signs for the bantams and quickly becomes England's number one.

What the fans think: Bit ugly but not as fat as Nev.

Previous Clubs: Some rubbish from South Yorkshire.

Club we'd most like to take him off our hands: England national team once in a while.

Estimated Value: hard to judge as he cost so little. Probably rated as one of the top ten keepers in the league now though. Worth at least a million, possibly more.

What he's really worth: I'd buy him a pint of his choice... even if he asked for lager!