I am 34% EMO.

Not quite Emo Hmm.. i suggest I stopped listening to Dashboard Confessional.... enough said... Now that I stopped looking at my shoes, I know how the real world looks.

It's not a fashion craze, or even a cool thing to do. I should just swallow it, get lost, and take my friends with me.

I am 29% Raver.

Well, I have been to a rave. I probably know a bunch of ravers, but they may think of me as an outsider. That's okay, at least I am not a complete freak.

I wanna be a geek. But I'm not. Why would I even want to be one. Do I think it's fun? I should try writting an online test application at 1 am in my underwear.

fuali.com!

1) the lovely week long kidney infection i just suffered through made me throw up and undergo excruciating stomach pains. the pain was akin to being hungover for days on end. putting myself through that again ON PURPOSE simply does not appeal to me.
2) alcohol makes me feel stupid. and to get better grades this semester, moderation (or the complete absence) of "dummy juice" will be a must.
3) getting drunk takes time. i have too little as it is.
4) frat boys and sorostitutes (prepare for a stereotype) spend much of their time drinking, being loud and annoying. i would like to associate myself with as little of this insidious subculture as possible.

so that's me. beer always tasted vile to me anyway. i would go straight-edge, but i've always wanted to try shrooms. maybe when i turn 21, i'll revel in my advancement into genuine "adulthood". maybe.

so i've watched a considerable amount of movies since we last talked. and i can't remember any of them. well, it's more like i don't feel like typing about them. i've grown disgusted with movies. they're quite unfulfilling. you either get an ending that leaves you thinking "what the fuck" or you get a sugar-coated happy pill that sickens your sense of reality. i've also run out of movies to watch. and i still have 50 movies on my rental block. help.

3wk.com saves my life anytime i need to hear noise. i can't find anything good to buy on ebay anymore. poetry is such a lame mode of expression. if you gotta say something, SAY IT. i've had a bit of a dry spell. periods suck. baseball tees don't fit right on me. the girl's guide to hunting and fishing is a lame lovey dovey book. boring. not funny or entertaining at all. i'm glad i only paid $7 for it and not the original $24. hardcover novels are such ripoffs. i just recently purchased a people's history of the united states: 1492-present. i've read it before (well, the first 50 pages), but i didn't finish it (2 week loans from the library are just not long enough for digesting such heady stuff). so i bought it. the hardcover version. a treat. one i'll read and reread many times over, i'm sure.

as always, the male species.

hey X: random passer-by? do i know you? i'm thinking i do and i'll just be embarassed i couldn't guess it when you finally do reveal yourself. by the by, great r. wiggum quotes and quality websites. very intimidating. danke.

god i hate bugs. well, most. ok ok, ants, potato bugs, and ladybugs specifically.

---

[06/02/01] ... SaturdaY 12:40 a.m.

to mopey mikey: hope aqaba was fun and you're doin ok. haven't talked to you in a few...gee...hours? =)

to non-mikeys: go HERE

to jivin jason + scotty hotty: thank you googleximus for the support you gave me last weekend. it was infinitely appreciated.

to non-scottys: go HERE

to the rest of yas: go HERE

what to write what to write...i've heard a lot about the occurence of blocked memories from various sources. mostly the media, concerning child abuse cases and those of that disagreeable type. but i've never experienced (or acknowledged) blocked memories before. don't get worried now, the recollection didn't deal with anything that disagreeable. it was mostly small stuff, triggered, i think, by a visit back to my old high school (o beloved alma mater) for my younger brother's performance in a variety show. i don't know if your HS did this, but we've got plenty of pictures of past sports phenoms plastered on the walls of the main hallway and viewing those brought back a wave of memories. i saw one picture of an "ex-acquaintance," a wrestling star, and had to stop in mid-step for the recognition to run it's course. i couldn't remember his name until i was on my way home from the show, after viewing the photo a second time. derek angus. big buff jock type come into mind? bingo. congrats. he fit the name. though he played a minimal part in my high school career (we dated...twice?) it was an odd feeling seeing someone that had been out my life for so long. it was as if the picture had kicked open the door to a dusty broom closet barely big enough for the indisposable Seven Minutes in Heaven. in the relative darkness of that misplaced cubbyhole, i wondered what he was doing now. considering i couldn't even remember his age relative to mine, i gained little ground toward that answer. was it sophomore year? or freshman? did we kiss? it's a bit perturbing that i can't even remember these small details. me being just out of the gates at 20, my high school days should still be crystal clear. i seem to recall him being a jerk, blowing me off at a school dance and leaving me right then as free game for other virile young horndogs. he'd been cute. i'd been infatuated with the attention received. but was it love? definitely a schoolgirl crush. it was refreshing to realize and recall that i've found better and that my first romantic interludes didn't end with devastating heartbreaks. even timelines get fuzzy in my head now. which crushes came in which order, had anything come of them, emotionally or physically. i suppose it doesn't matter. living in the past just brings the end fast. but it's nice to look back on something and realize you've grown.

yikes. hope that lengthy trek down memory lane didn't scare you away from my page forever. cuz it scared me fo sho.

watched a movie this afternoon:

**hollow man - guy develops invisibility serum. is obsessed with projects, insists on self-testing, a big no-no. so his previous disatisfaction with life turns into murderous tantrums. amazing special effects. but main character lacked motive. vague connections to the treatment making him angry and thus his actions legit. lots of plot holes, docile death scenes, forgotten characters, predictable ending. play the "who's goin to die next?" game and make some bucks. note to all future directors/producers: the story makes the movie. not the sparks.

i'm reading "fortunate son: the making of an american president" by j.h. hatfield. bush fanatics and opposition alike can make use of this material. i can't say it's completely un-biased, but it deals out tidbits about the bush family that intimidate the reader(links to anti-semitism), to anecdotes that intimate (robin bush's youthful fall to leukemia). one would expect it to be heavily biased, considering the slant given to the back cover blurb (a virtual outline of condemnation of george dubya). and you can't forgo what occured during the book's first printing: it was recalled from book stores around america by the publisher, who feared persecution and disapproval from the book's subjects (all this initiated by a prying texan reporter), and "burned." in my opinion, the so-called "furnace fodder," with all its "defamatory" statements offers a well-organized wealth of information about one of the most talked about (yet also least known) influential people of this century. so far, it has allowed me to draw my own conclusions about g. dubya's worthiness as a president and to tell the truth, my own heavily negative opinions of the figure are wavering. i'm not yet half-way through the book, but i can whole-heartedly recommend this thoroughly researched biography to all who've heard that four-letter word referring to shrubbery. we might as well be informed about this guy. we've got him for the next four years, so understanding where he's coming from might be the first step in making it bearable.

so there's my mini-novel for the day. enjoy. love, cat.

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[05/30/01] ... WednesdaY 7:11 p.m.

to whom it may concern: yes, joop is still on my list of appreciated scents.

"braveheart" is such a good movie...it was on tv last nite (the first part)and they cut it off right before the gory battle scene. grr. i know "bh" is merely millions of hollywood bucks put to work, but i still adore this movie. really moving, great acting. it's good to see mel outside of "lethal weapon" roles. cool that he has the ability to fight in scotland as well as NYC, or wherever "LW's" are set. i have yet to see "requiem for a dream." torn between waiting for my bud to get back from jordan and being a selfish pig and having it all to savor for myself. maybe i'll just play catch-up in the "who's seen the most movies" race. maybe.

haven't been drunk in a while.

massive attack is the shit. if you're not into them, get goin! also check out anything by coldplay or songs:ohia.

i may be in ohio till tuesday (june 5th). sorry to those who care. plans on coming home saturday (june 2nd) may still work out, but still iffy. my bro's graduation ceremony is on monday (june 4th) afternoon and i may need to fulfill sisterly duties and view the throwing of the ugly hats. i'm also basically guaranteed the opportunity to see all my old schoolmates...i'm definitely skipping the 10 year reunion. class of '99, medina, ohio, can definitely go fuck itself.

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[05/29/01] ... TuesdaY 1:13 p.m.

the movie i forgot to review last time i made an entry was WONDER BOYS. it was one of the best ones in the litter and i forgot it. silly cat. anyway. here you go:
****Wonder Boys - someone punch me, but i think katie holmes is a total fox. but only second to that boy wonder himself, tobey maguire. supposedly TM is making an appearance as Spiderman in a hollywood blowout later this year. yikes. anyway. this is a smart drama (?, well, more comedic than dramatic) that moves along @ a moderate pace. Intense character development, depth of realism, is undergone and the warm fuzziness of the ending will coerce you into buying a pet bunny immediately. make sure it's a spotted bunny. hides the bruises better.
i'm twisted i know. here are some other movies i have recently had the pleasure of viewing:
***Men of Honor - "Be the Best." cuba gooding jr. does indeed follow through on this mantra and it turns out to be a pretty good film. heavy on the racism issue. though the ending (heck, the entire movie) is predictable, CBJ do great jobs acting and the director does a decent job of drawing you in, making you care about what happened to (real life) navy diver carl brashear.
***Billy Elliot - i'm not sure if it was the hype in the media, the rave reviews i heard from my friends, the stories the milkman told me, or that secret message i decoded with my cereal box top ring, but billy elliot just didn't do it for me. i'm giving it a 3 because it was a moving story and the lesson "Do what you want to do, what you were born to do, not what is dictated by society and stereotypes," is quite important. though the dancing was amazing, the movie moved much too slow. it lasted 2 hours, felt like 3, and should've taken 1. it's a good lazy sunday flick. sunday being when i watched it, but dayam...make sure you've napped.
***Erin Brockovich - hum de hum de hum. done by the same guy that did "traffic." good story. annoying actress. and those god-awful outfits. girl, if you've got a body that hot, give it a teeny bit of respect! a predictable flick. read all about it in reader's digest, time, newsweek, etc etc so i knew how the story went. i was surprised, though, by PG&E's efforts to cover up their mistakes by misleading their customers...making them basically drink, bathe, play in poison. that's just sick. it's wonderful that people like (the real life) EB have the tenacity and guts to pull through something like this. hope i'm lucky enough to someday do half the good that she's done. so movie = eh. story = A.

so i dropped my fin254 summer term 1 course. you know, the one that had the shitty participation point system i was ranting about in my last entry. i probably could have pulled off a B in that class, but that's all done with now. anyway. here's WHY i dropped it: there was an angry riot over my fall semester grades when i called home 2 sundays ago (the 20th). mainly due to the presence of a D+ in the space where my econ173 (shitty business statistics) grade was loacted. so my parents proclaimed i was coming home immediately. pack up everything. we're coming to get you. this "permanent damage" to my report card was seen as an end-all to my college career @ illinois. mom insisted i had to work and attend community college over the summer, dropping all summer courses and out of U of I completely. dad insisted i had to go to a better school, preferably in Ohio, where i would be paying in-state tuition rather than an outrageous sum to live in the midst of cornfields and fail my classes miserably. he also had a theory, with which i agreed, that i wasn't happy in business. so i needed to think about changing majors/schools. i've never gotten a D before. i never plan to get one again. heck. who said i planned the damn thing? i was as mad about it as they were, but i felt i could work through it, raise my gpa, and get back into the honors program. well. monday (21st) my mom drove the 8 hrs over to chambana and we had a bit of a "dispute" about my leaving illinois. rage ensued and stuff got broken, people got hurt, and my mom ended up staying in a hotel for the night. but not without her first dialing up the reinforcements, my pop, to come and sort things out. tuesday (22nd) i talked with my dad alone for 3 hours, made up with my mom for 3 hours, then we came to a consensus. i would come home to ohio for a few days and think out all my future/college/career/class issues, but i wouldn't be moving back. i would research other schools, other careers, research changing my major to journalism (what i have the most interest in), and see what my options are.

well, i've been at home for 7 days now and here a short explanation of my situation:

-decided to double major in marketing and journalism (specifically news-editing)
-taking fin254 (corporate finance) and badm202 (badm = business administration) (badm202 = principles of marketing)
-definitely staying @ U of I for the time being
-U of I apparently has the #1 grad program for journalism, according to US News and World Report. if you peek up at the page title bar though, this report is from 3/18/96. over 5 years ago. if anyone knows of a more recent source, i'd love to hear from you. or any resources concerning journalism undergrad/grad programs.
-i have not yet been able to get in touch with the journalism advisor. i emailed her 4 days ago, yet still no response. i'll try calling today, for i can't really meet her while i'm here in ohio. thus, i have yet to get into the college of communications for fall 2001. that's not a huge concern, being that 4 of the 5 classes i'm taking in fall 2001 are going towards my marketing degree, but i don't want to be stuck having taken too many credit hours to be taken into the college of comms. it can happen apparently, according to the rules. i'll go dig out the specifics later.
-i'll be in ohio until saturday, which is when my dad is leaving on business trip to taiwan. i'm getting along with my parents really well and home-life, boring as it is, is actually enjoyable. i'm reading a lot and actually getting some idea of how my life is going to play out. i should be getting back to the apt soon, as mail needs to be freed from its box, bills need to be paid, and messages need to be checked. i'll be putting more posters up too, having picked em up from home...ooo my 8'x5' sunny day real estate poster is gonna look sooooooo good up in the bedroom... =)

so that's me. it's been a hectic week. i'm emotionally exhausted. but all is well.

love,
cat

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[05/18/01] ... FridaY 4:56 p.m.

amazing...i'm writing for this damn thing while the sun is still up. just amazing. of course, it may have something to do with all my friends being gone, my lack of a LAN connection at my summer apartment, or possibly even my chronic claustrophobia and need to experience the evils of society. wait. that didn't make any sense. hm. well. here's my story, my phone # and address have changed, so if i haven't already updated you, you're either not worthy, or the brain cell that contained the memory of your existence died during my last beer binge. which, note, does not happen that often. so just email me. i'll give you the goods. so. i've been watching lots and lots and lots of movies. here's what i remember in phrase-reviews:

****Night on Earth - yay for life lessons
****In the Company of Men - more proof boys are evil
****Pink Flamingos - o mr egg man waters! can you make anything more revolting?
****Cecil B. Demented - celibate for celluloid! (hey, that's MY summer!)
***Pecker - waters strikes again...this time with evil beavers...."i don't know what it is, but i think i like it!" - pecker's pop
***Pi - eh, god, religion, power, drilling for brains
***Chuck & Buck - friendship is a wonderful thing
***Yi Yi - practice your reading skills. lengthy, but moving. stick with it.

those were all on video. smartie me got a video block of 100 rentals @ the video store for $100. woohoo. vegetation time will be @ a max this summer. well, part of it is in an effort to catch up to the cinematic prowess of my buddy mike. we never can find a movie that worth watching, that's one that NEITHER of us has seen. so this is my attempt to best him in the film game. besides. my ass does need to do some more filling out. it's not quite blimp size yet.

i watched a 1:30 showing of "memento" today. all by my lonesome. well, not really. there were 2 other people in the theater. maybe 3. i think i might have heard some heavy self-petting from the back row right before the flick started. anyway. it wasn't amazing. but it didn't suck. everyone i'd talked to before said it was an awesome flick...but that's the same review i heard for "blow" immediately after i watched it, and i had to disagree. "memento" had an interesting concept. definitely different from any movie i've ever seen. great cinematography, soundtrack added to the suspense. and humor was present. as well as great amounts of confusion. i'm still trying to figure some aspects of the movie. such as, what is the deal with this "natalie"? to try not to give too much away in the movie, i'll ask...why can't she look any more like madonna? ok, that didn't make much sense either. but it didn't give anything away about the movie. so, HA.

i guess what i got out of the movie, was that everybody needs something to live for. whether it's hate, love, killing, crime, life needs purpose. "gee, that's brilliant cathy!" i thought so.

so i'm taking summer school. this is the first 4 week term. there's an 8 week term after this one. i'm taking Fin 254 this semester. i hate it. but i've been told to stick thru it after i already dropped it once last semester (spring 01). the thing is, 25% of our grade comes from class participation. my deal is, i hate class participation. ask me to blab on about movies. can do. ask me to blab on about gun control. pregnancy. the death penalty. music. shit that MATTERS. can do. i cannot blab on about financial management, capital and money markets, mortgages, the Federal Reserve, the beta of a stock, cash flows. i don't FUNCTION like that. especially when we cover 1-2 chapters a day and i have to struggle to understand/comprehend what i've just read. i guess i'll try my best on the tests (take 4, drop one worst score, and especially fun with, of course, they're formatted as short answer and problems) and offer my stupid opinion on not understanding the material 1 or 2 times a day. and suffer. and get credit. pass with not so flying colors, but pass all the same. and there's no cumulative aspect to the course. just learn everything for one week, all new stuff, different and separate from what was "learned" the previous week. take a test. pass it. you're done. do this four times and i'm finished. finito. i hope there's a curve but i doubt it because i got stuck in the smart kidz class. dude yo. just so you know i'm not being a pisser and whiner about the participation thing, here's his hard-ass grading scale:

75% of your grade is based on examination performance, as follows:
Best 2 out of the first 3 exams: 200 points (100 pts. each)
Exam 4:100 points
Total Exam Points:300 points

25% of your grade is based on participation in class disussion:
Discussion Performance: 100 points
Total Points: 400 points

The quality of your participation will be graded each day on a scale of 0 to 3.
0 No participation or observations.
0.5 Contributes relevant information or facts.
1.0 Asks critical questions or provides an interpretation of facts that advances the class discussion.
2.0 Develops well supported interpretation of relevant information that is related to a theory, or provide insights that leads the discussion to a higher level.
3.0 Presents a superior analysis and interpretation of a theory or of relevant information that promotes a higher level of discussion.

so to earn even ONE-THIRD of the points i need for a good grade, i have to ask a CRITICAL QUESTION or INTERPRET FACTS. piece of cake, eh? ya, like my inability to grasp financial concepts is going to qualify as a critical question. HIGHLY DOUBTFUL. ya, so i'm fucked. o well, i'm getting it over and done with. fucking finance. makes the fucking world go round. and puts the fucking dollar in my fucking pocket. hoe-ray for the almighty dollar.

wow. my page is farking old already. my first post was april 23, 2000. yay for my page.

other stuff:
i missed jets to brazil/ the love scene/ the influents. i had no one to go with. *le sigh*
i hate finance.
i miss my cuddle buddy.
i discovered my at&t phone card can do international phone calls.
i bought a beastie boys and a bjork poster. $2 a piece @ acme records. got sarge, UB40, and indie comp records there too. cheap cheap. a few cds.
i got a free "cure" cd today. poor thing was abandoned in the computer lab.
cleaning sucks.
but it does produce a nice clean smelling/looking apartment.
i hate bugs. ants especially. they get everywhere.
i have scary dreams.
i called my friend jason in new york. he lives in brooklyn. BROOKLYN!
i bought too much food @ the grocery store.
eating alone is a hassle because you always end up with leftovers.
i have leftover chicken/veggie soup, spaghetti, spaghetti sauce, freschetta pizza, chinese food.
cooking is enjoyable.
watching movies alone sucks.
i need a dog.
i miss the constant presence of a computer screen. damn the dial-up procedure. making me go outside. fucking thing.
i wrote way too much in this entry. expect more. i've got a dull summer coming right up.

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[04/17/01] ... TuesdaY 2:31 a.m.

what is it that draws me to the internet and the desire to update my page when i really shouldn't and should be doing something else much more important at this time slot in the early morning?

i'm so fucked. so fucked so fucked so fucked so fucked.

to you:

struck dumb with your light
hoping to run from it. to be saved with flight.
yet drawn toward it. doomed to drown.
in the depths of your retina. that shiny greenbluebrown pebble.
life pales in comparison to your touch.
soaking up my sorrows with the sponge of your breath.
i can't see past my tears. you can't see past your joy.
seeming to derive happy formulas of emotion from each intake of air.
stronger than i could ever be. how do you do it.
keep your chin up. back straight. head high. slate clean.

---

[03/27/01] ... TuesdaY 2:03 a.m.

easter schmeaster. it's all about the cadbury cream eggs. limit 2.

i think i'm legally blind. the other day i was asked what super power i would choose if i had such a choice. i chose flying. i was asked, but what about invisibility? i'm already invisible. now that i think back on it, i would wish for 20/20 vision. i hate my glasses...fucking coke bottles. thank god for contacts. except i'll probably be blind by the time i'm 30, maybe sooner.

on a more positive note...or not...i saw "dancer in the dark" this weekend. was moved to tears. i'm not especially emotional with movies, but DITD was beautiful. it definitely affected my opinions on capital punishment and priorities in this life. i wish i was as cool as bjork.



survey: porn or erotica? i think there may be a correlation between gender and the medium of masturbatory assistance. since only 2.3 people read my homepage, i think the results of my theory will coincide with my opinion. hoe-ray.

so i got rejected by the promotions department at WPGU 107.1 the Planet once again. boy do i suck. i've applied twice, smiled sweetly twice, sucked ass twice, and still no go. if that isn't pissy enough, my slacker friend matt gets a job there on the first try...wait, correction, TWO jobs there on his first try. and he does zilch. he's a cool kid. granted. but he's a total lazy slacker! i work (well, sometimes) and...dammit. i just want a cool job. fuck.

O SO TRUE.

once in a creepy round orange harvest moon you meet someone you connect with heart and soul and style. someone you adore enough to forgo a 12"+ difference in height. it helps when they have fantastic and familiar tastes in music, movies, masochistic methods of mayhem. good hair is a plus as well. heh. gah. gushy mush.

give it me, gimme that sweet, that nasty, that gooshy stuff.

ok...that was pretty random.

o and my message board AND my guest book somehow managed to break while i have been away. fucking (very nice and competent) host site. apparently, when geocities got bought out by yahoo, everything got messed up. i just installed a new guestbook, so hurry your hot little bodies over there in the race to be the first to contribute to my world. also, sadly, geocities/yahoo no longer offers message boards as an add-on, so until i find an alternate program...(hopefully an alternate host!)...voice your whines in the guestbook. plenty of room in there provided by a few comment boxes. enjoy yourselves.

hope you had fun at Bright Eyes mike. you suck.

it's 4:23 am now. hopefully this update will satisfy your deprived little minds for a moment. i will write more before the month is out. i hope.

understatement of the year: I've Been Busy.

derive what meaning you may from that statement. nothing further from me.

---

[01/22/01] ... MondaY

today is paul's birthday. paul is 20. it is matty's birthday as well. matty, bless his bastardly heart, is 20 as well. ha. ha. halfway to forty, LOSERS. it will be a happy day...when i get to sleep. 3:09 AM my dear fan club...and i am not even half done with what my college deems necessary to be done for achieving academic success.

pimple in your nose. pimple on your eyelid. what the fuck. who thinks these things up? don't laugh. it's happened to you too. i know.

at least my class today (tomorrow is three hours gone) is @ 9. meaning i'll be getting up @ 8. since i have only been requiring about 4 hours of sleep the past few days, i'll be just fine if i can get to bed by 4. it's not going to happen.

today, monday lovely monday, i have class @ 9. then i work from 10:15 am to 1 pm. at 2 and 3 i have classes as well. at 5:45, i will be interviewing with coochie coochie coo Phi Gamma Nu, the most prestigious buzzy frat on campus, and i be kissing ass. i will present myself as perfected in every way, demonstrating unbelievable power in the fields of leadership, service, and socialability. that is definitely not a word. anyway. that is the first of the Business Frat Fun. co-ed Business Frat Fun, mind you.

following that PhiGN lil frat, i will be discussing life matters with Alpha Kappa Psi. psi is a funky greek symbol. i do like it a lot. it looks like a pitchfork. or a Y with a dick. erect. just saying. that'll be goin down @ 6:30 pm.

and hello hello...Delta Sigma Pi (pi, yes pi, that endearing curvy symbol named after a neet indie flick with the little neverending decimals) convenes at 7 pm to determine my fate in the 1st Geeky Greeky Business Circle of Smell. go dante. go dante. go dante. dante HICKS! pshaw. no, i did not forget to link it. the link does not exist because, well, mainly because there is no homepage. bwahahaha. by far the most relaxed of the frats, i hope to impress. good god. i will be wearing professional business dress. o what i would do for some Caress(tm)...Before You Dress, Caress. sorry folks, they sent a paycheck and the insertion had to be made. come on...it rhymes!

so that will be my trials and tribulations for the week. hopefully i will get a bid so this effort will not go to waste. additionally, these interviews are only FIRST STAGE INTERVIEWS. to even come close, 3, count em, uno dos TRES more interviews are necessary to gauge whether you're a cocky enough bastard to take advantage of the opportunities these organizations provide. updates will be available almost immediately, seeing that i will obviously NOT get in.

i am so.disappointed and dismayed by the decrepit antics of this not. -so-fun world that i am resorting to the glamorous life of a frat girl.

i should switch to journalism now.

---

[01/17/01] ... WednesdaY

for those of you (the very few) that have contributed to my message board, i give thanks. it shows that my existence on this planet (as insignificant and meaningless as it is) is being acknowledged. my life is complete.

i'm writing cuz i'm bored. cuz i don't want to do my homework. acting like a normal teenager. you see, it's not even real WORK. it's just a ton of reading. i did get back in the groove of reading a lot over break (and fell OUT of the groove of working out UGH), so i should be completely prepared for this stuff. but i've finally come to see the foolishness of my mind dismissing break as being boring. because i got to do whatever i wanted, anytime i wanted (well almost). and now the walls of pressure of school are falling back into their rightful places.

the drug war. i recently had the opportunity to catch the flick "Traffic" at my stadium-seated 16 theater megaplex back home. i liked it. short and sweet is the length of my criticism of the actual film. however, the seed of controversial thought it planted in my head had lasting effects. the movie itself, though shot home movie style, was incredibly powerful and the acting (was it acting???) absolutely stunned me.

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[01/04/01] ... ThursdaY

12:43 a.m. i've discovered my good guy friend brad has not seen some vital movies that should have been covered in childhood. among the neglected:

bring it on
but i'm a cheerleader
cruel intentions
edward scissorhands
hackers
the last unicorn
nightmare before christmas
the princess bride
say anything
tank girl
war games

what other flicks is this poor mistreated boy missing out on? throw me your favorite childhood movies at me so i can educate him on his mistakes and correct his erroneous ways...msg board, email, and AIM contact are all acceptable...cuz i'm an attention hog. =)

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[01/02/01] ... TuesdaY

whish boom bang. catastrophe is back in the house. just for a lil while though...till that darn report card makes it's portentious way over to my house. so i've got a lot to say. been about 2 months since i've chatted with you freaks. enjoy:

~CaNcUn~

shiiiiiiiiit. there are way too many beautiful people down in cancun. lots of sugar to go around. heh. kinda makes you want to starve for a couple weeks. eh, naw. we stayed for a week, from the 19th to the 26th, spending xmas there as well. it's insanely pretty, gorgeous beaches. my only complaint is about the weather. it was rainy/windy more than 75% of the time. i came back barely darker than when i left and i tan pretty easily. no biggie. just one more pass up on skin cancer. i can deal. the hotel, Moon Palace Nizuc, was all-inclusive and secluded, so although we were able to access food and drink with no prob, it got mighty boring mighty fast. especially with having to stay inside all day. so we just got drunk all the time, played pool/billiards and people-watched. also visited some Mayan ruins at Tulum and viewed some wildlife (dolphins, flamingos, jaguars, monkeys, deer) at this place called XCaret. the best thing about XCaret was, yup, you guessed it, beaches. plus they offered giant inner tubes that displaced some of the gloom the cloudy weather presented.

i met tons of rad kids from around the US and around the world. quite a few hailed from England. gotta dig those accents. um, i played beach soccer on days when the rain abated and that rewarded me with 10 yr old admirers and a skinned up knee. i play defense (playED defense in a soccer game for the first time in YEARS) and at one point one of the soccer moms praised me for my "skills". wild wacky world out there. i have to say it re-awakened my love for the sport, though. i've decided to look into some intramurals for next semester...that is if i make it thru the end of this break alive...heh

in conclusion, cancun is, much like virginia, for lovers, not for families. and i fucked up my grades royally this semester. so see you guys in the underworld. out for now.

love, cat

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