However, the most rememberable of my adventures was in bed. Now, I know what your thinking, and SHUT UP pervert, it's not like that. What I'm talking about is a midafternoon, while you've worn your mother out so much that she has fallen asleep on the sofa, so you decide to explore... Many of these days would end up being spent trying to take a nap because I was so tired. I'd pull the sheets far over my head and look at this white fluffy paradise around me...I'd think to myself...."Is this what it's like to die? Is this heaven?" I'd feel goose bumps all over me because I wasn't well enough covered by the sheets. But being afraid to die, I'd try to stay like that. Although it was cold and slightly scary..I'd stay and wonder if I could stay like this forever...and I'd think to myself that maybe I could. I'd stay there still looking at all the white around me and soon realize that it is no longer cold, it's the perfect temperature....maybe the air is a little thicker though...so now, I'm under the asumption that heaven gets better as you stay there....so proud and giving myself a pat on the back for coming to such a great conclusion I reach for the edge of the blanket to go back to reality and see if maybe my mother has awakened so that she can get me some juice... But whats the matter? I can't find the edge of the sheet...I've somehow wraped the blankets in such a way around me that I can't find a way out. The air starts to get thinker, it is no longer warm but hot. I claw at the sheets hoping I can find a way out....or atleast make more air come in, terrified of what is now happening I scream..."Mom, mom, help me!!!" she can't hear me though...then everything gets real black....and I remember waking up on the floor the next day...
A little Man with blazing eyes lives outside my windows. He is the reason I can't look outside or open doors at night. He is the reasoning for the closed blinds in my house. He will always be there...watching me....no matter where I go...he will be there. He first came to haunt me when I was 6. Late at night after having many other halusinations one night...I sat up in bed and moving the lace curtins glanced outside to see what was making noise out there. Two bright green eyes, much like a cat stared back at me then as I was about to open the window to let this poor kity in...a small little grin appears on his face and e scratched at the window...all at once I stopped. Trying to figure out what was going on..I stared at him...and saw that he was not at all a cat...he looked much more like a leppercon or a sprit..or anything else you'd hear about in fairy tales.(not disney but original ones that revolved around sex and gore.) I immediately shut the lace curtian and pulled a sheet over my head and listened as he continued to scratch...it went away after a while...but his visits didn't...he comes and sits outside my house everynight always doing something new...even still...
Now, I somehow think that I could have prevented his coming if i would have confronted him when I first met him...but I couldn't.....and I still can't...I suppose he'll remain out there forever...
Stop, stop right there. I don't trust you. I've known you before. You were gone. How can you be here now? No! Stop....Argh, I'm so confused. Why can't you leave me alone? You've done enough to me already. Stop. I can't stand this. Why must things be so difficult?.....Back up, don't come near me. Please...oh, please? Why aren't you listening?!?!? Don't you know what you put me though? The sleepless nights, the crying, oh god, the crying...the wanting, the lonliness. Don't you remember?..... Do I want you? No, I don't want you anymore....you put me through all of this. I may need you, but I'll never want of you again. LEAVE ME ALONE! Vanishes as quickly as you appeared, I can't yell at you everynight. Your supposed to be dead! Why aren't you dead? I SAW the body. You had a shot yourself through your fucking skull. Your gone, don't you know that? When you said you'll never leave me it made me feel safe.....now I just feel crazy, lost and confused....are you trying to get me to come with you? You know it wont happen. I've given up on that. I've found someone else. Someone who wont leave me. I love you but I can't do this, I can NOT do this. Don't you understand??? STOP! God, that was the problem with you....you always wanted you own way....it's not going to happen this time. You hear me? If you ever heard anything ever, hear me now, Stop...it hurts...you might aswell be gutting me, atleast then every organ inside of me could hurt at the mention of you name...Why did you do this to me? Why?
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