7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE STEPHEN R. COVEY (Simon & Schuster, 1989)

(Summarized by Erlin Sarwin for Leadership course, Summer 1998)

Habit is defined as the intersection of knowledge (what to do and why), skill (how to do) and desire (want to do/motivation). The seven habits move us progressively on a Maturity Continuum from being dependence (paradigm of "you"), to independence (the paradigm of "I") to interdependence (the paradigm of "we"). Dependent people need others to get what they want, independent people can get what they want through their own effort, while interdependent people combine their own efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their greatest success.

7 habits are habits of effectiveness because they are based on principles, they bring the maximum long-term beneficial results possible and are in harmony with a P/PC (production/production capability) balance natural law (the golden egg story). True effectiveness is a function of two things: what is produced and the capacity to produce. There are three kinds of assets: physical, financial (capacity to earn), and human (more important because people control the other two assets).

The seven habits: DEPENDENCE STATE: 1. Be proactive 2. Begin with the end in mind Private victory 3. Put first things first INDEPENDENCE STATE 4. Think win/win 5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood Public victory 6. Synergize INTERDEPENDENCE 7. Sharpen the saw

Be proactive. Reactive model or stimulus/response model (Pavlov's experiment) states that people are conditioned to respond in a particular way to a particular stimulus. However, between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose because human has self-awareness, imagination (ability to create in our minds beyond our present reality), conscience (a deep inner awareness of right and wrong), and independent will (ability to act based on our self-awareness). Effective people posses the habit of proactivity, which means we take initiative and are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. Proactive people are driven by values which are carefully thought about, selected and internalized. They focus their efforts in the circle on influence where they have direct or indirect control over (circle of influence; private and public victory). Reactive people, on the contrary, are driven by feelings, by circumstances, by conditions, by their environment. They focus on the weakness of other people, the problems in the environment, and circumstances where they have no control.

Begin with the end in mind. This means to begin today with the image, picture, or paradigm of the end of your life as your frame of reference or the criterion by which everything else is examined. This is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There is a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation to all things. If habit 1 means, " you are the creator," this habit is the first creation. In order to begin, we need to know the source of our security, guidance, wisdom and power (the center of our life), which can be spouse, family, money, work, possession, pleasure, friend, enemy, church, and self-centered. However, as a principle-centered person, you try to stand apart from the emotion of the situation and from other factors that would act on you, and evaluate the options. The person with a principle- centered paradigm are not being acted upon by other people or circumstances, know his decision is most effective because it is based on principles with predictable long-term results, and chooses to do what contributes to his ultimate values in life.

Put first things first. In this habit, we deal with life and time management, where we have to organize and execute around priorities. The time management matrix consists of four quadrants: the first quadrant represents important/urgent activities, the second is important/not urgent activities, third is not important/urgent activities, and the last quadrant is not important/not urgent activities. Urgent means it requires immediate attention, while important things contribute to our mission, values and high priority goals. Quadrant II (important/not urgent) is the heart of effective personal management. It deals with building relationships, writing personal mission statement, long-range planning, exercising, preventive maintenance and preparation. In order to move to quadrant II, there are six important criteria that need to be met: coherence (harmony between vision and mission, roles and goals etc.), balance, people dimension (effectiveness, instead of efficiency when dealing with people), focus, flexibility, and portability (portable organizer). This involves organizing four key activities: identifying roles, selecting goals, scheduling, and daily adapting. We can be more effective, if we are able to delegate to other people. Delegation means growth, both for individuals and for organizations. There are two kinds of delegation: gofer delegation (micro-managing; go for this, go for that) and stewardship delegation (focus on results, instead of methods). Stewardship delegation involves clear, up-front mutual understanding and commitment regarding expectations in desired results, guidelines (should be as few as possible), resources (human, financial, technical, or organizational), accountability (to evaluate results), and consequences.

Effective interdepence can only be built on a foundation of true independence that is why private victory should precede public victory. As we become independent (proactive, centered in correct principles, value driven, and able to organize and execute around the priorities in our life with integrity), we then can choose to become interdependent (capable of building rich, enduring, highly productive relationships with other people). We need to build the 'Emotional Bank Account' with the deposits as follows: understanding the individual, attending to the little things, keeping commitments, clarifying expectations, showing personal integrity, apologizing sincerely when we make a withdrawal, and loving others truly without condition, strings, and help them feel secure and safe and affirm in their essential worth, identity, and integrity.

Think win/win. Win/win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win/win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial, mutually satisfying and it sees life as a cooperative, not a competitive arena. In win/lose people are prone to use position, power, credentials, possessions, or personality to get their way, while in lose/win there is no standards, no demands, no expectations, no vision. In lose/lose situation, both will try to get even and both will lose. In win situation people think in terms of securing their own ends and leaving it to others to secure theirs. Of these alternatives, the most effective approach depends on the situation. In the beginning of a business relationship, win/win or no deal approach is most realistic, however in a continuing business relationship no deal may not be a viable option. There are five dimensions of win/win: character (integrity, maturity, abundance mentality as opposed to scarcity mentality or zero sum game), relationships (it goes beyond transactional leadership into transformational leadership, transforming the individuals involved as well as the relationship), agreements, supportive systems (it can only survive in an organization when the systems support it) and processes (principled vs. positional approach). Principled negotiation is to separate the person from the problem, to focus on interests and not on positions, to invent options for mutual gain, and to insist on objective criteria. This can be done by first see the problem from the other point of view, identify the key issues and concerned involved, determine what results would constitute a fully acceptable solution, and identify possible new options to achieve those results.

Seek first to understand then to be understood (empathic). There are five levels of "listening": ignoring, pretending to listen, selective listening, and attentive listening (paying attention and focusing energy on the words that are being said), and empathic listening (get inside another person's frame of reference and understand how they feel). We need to first seek to understand in order to give solution to others' problems (optometrist story). As most of us listen autobiographically, we tend to respond in one of four ways: evaluate (agree/disagree), probe (ask questions from our own frame of reference), advise (give counsel based on our own experience), or interpret (try to figure people out, explain their motives, behavior, based on our own motives and behavior). There are four development stages in order to be an empathic listener: mimic content (listen and repeat), rephrase the content, reflect feeling, and the combination of rephrasing and reflecting feeling. The essence of seeking first to understand are ethos (personal credibility), pathos (empathic side or feeling), and logos (logic/reason).

Synergize. Synergy means the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. There are three levels of communication: defensive (win/lose or lose/win, where cooperation and trust are low, use legalistic language and very protective), respectful communication (cooperation and trust are in the middle, understand each other intellectually, but don't deeply look at the paradigms and assumptions underlying their own positions and new possibilities), synergistic (win/win, honest and genuine and respectful). Valuing the differences is the essence of synergy (the mental, emotional, and psychological differences between people).

Sharpen the saw. This habit means preserving and enhancing the greatest assets that we have: physical (exercise, nutrition, stress management), mental (reading, visualizing, planning, writing), spiritual (value clarification and commitment, study and meditation), and social/emotional (service, empathy, synergy, intrinsic security).

Conclusion: the more proactive you are (habit 1), the more effectively you can exercise personal leadership (habit 2) and management (habit 3) in your life. The more effectively you manage your life (habit 3), the more renewing activities you can do (habit 7). The more you seek to understand (habit 5), the more effectively you can go for synergetic win/win solutions (habit 4 and 6). The more you improve in any of the habits that lead to independence (habit 1,2,3), the more effective you will be in interdependent situation (habit 4, 5, 6). And renewal (habit 7) is the process of renewing all the habits.