When we first started this relationship, we both were aware of the fact that it would not be an easy one from the very beginning. We could not even know for sure if we'd work out IRL - I mean, we were both entirely sure about what we felt for each other, but this did not exclude the possibility that we might just not be able to stand each other once we met IRL. And there was the big distance. Bill had already called several airlines, and the flight prizes at that time were just incredibly high - way out of our financial reach. But we decided we both wanted to take the risk.
We both got ICQ shortly afterwards, so we could have a more instant chat. We even got voice chat now, one in ICQ and another one in Powwow. Which is even better, as we can hear each other's voice. And the phone certainly gets a workout too. Well.. *L* Bill's phone, as I am spending lots of money already by just being online.
For someone not familiar with the internet, this entire story may sound strange and incredible. So it was not very surprising for us that lots of our friends and family were taken aback first when we told them about us, or even thought we had gone crazy now. But there were others who were just happy with us, and who also gave us lots of back up. And most important, we certainly got strength from each other to hold on, whenever one of us was feeling down.
So what is it like to have one of those "online relationships", that are not that unusual anymore? Well, it is strenuous at times, and depressing at others, but there is no time that is more precious to us than the few hours we spend together almost every day. Bill is working and coming home at 6 PM every day, that is midnight in Germany. That means that Bine is on the computer almost every night. That was no problem last semester, as there were next to no classes, only learning for exams, but this semester is harder. Good she does not need that much sleep.. *L* Meeting every night means that we do not have much of a social life anymore. But well... Things we do for love. *g*
It sure is more frustrating at times than any IRL relationship. Ever tried to have a fight over the web? Don't do it, it is just frustrating not to be able to really yell at the other, it is hard to let out any feelings out, and it is harder in the end to make up again. And it is not only the fighting or other moments that are loaded with emotions - it is also the times when one of us can't be on because he/she has to work, to visit someone else, or whatever. We only have these two hours after midnight normally when it it possible for both of us to come online, so whenever one of us does not have the possibility to be there then, we won't be able to talk to each other. You might think, oh my, you do not have to talk every night, and that is something I would normally agree to, but with the circumstances of not being able to see and touch each other anyways, it is so much harder.
So we spent our first Christmas apart from each other. As Bine went to her parents' place to spend Christmas with her family, we could only talk on the phone once - as phone is so expensive, and Bine's family did not know of that relationship yet. And when she told them before Bill called, they certainly weren't too enthusiastic. None of them ever had surfed the web or anything else, so they just did have no idea how that worked, and understandably did not approve any relationship like that. Nor did they acknowledge that it was possible to develop any feelings that way. So it was unthinkable to ask them to call him - that has changed in the meantime. *s*
More to come soon....
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