I am creating this page as my prayer for one of my first friends. I will not try to analyze her situation or tell you my feelings on it. I just want to say what I have seen. I hope this story touches your heart like Lela touched mine.
For those of you who don’t know, I want to tell you about my friend Lela. We first met when we were only 2 or 3 but became friends immediately. She was my best friend through all of elementary school and most of junior high.
When I was little I was sensitive and shy but Lela was always there to take care of me. She was forever ready to do anything I needed weather it was to defend me, cheer me up, or share in my joy.
Sometimes it was hard being her best friend because everyone loved her. Lela was everyone’s favorite because she had a huge smile and an even huger heart. She had this essence about her that said, "Notice me, love me, no matter what happens I’ll be happy." She was everything I valued and respected.
Yet even growing up in her shadow, she made me feel special. This girl we all loved chose me to be her best friend.
Through most of elementary school we were inseparable. She called my house her second home, and she felt as comfortable in it as in her own. She was the sister I never had.
But in 8th grade there reached a point where she started distancing herself from me. She’d go to a party where there would be drinking while making sure I wouldn’t go. She started entering this wild new world at the same time as she pushed me away from it. Even as her life headed toward disaster she was still taking care of me.
I saw less and less of her as we neared the end of 8th grade. When I did see her I noticed the smile fading and the optimism changing to this tough-bored attitude. But an amazing thing happened. As she lost that smiling, optimistic, notice me attitude, I gained it. It’s almost as if she didn’t lose her innocence, but rather gave it to me.
No matter what happened I wouldn’t lose my optimistic outlook, except the morning that my world came crashing down. It was the day I found out she’d been living in a crack house. That was freshman year in high school, and I remember it like it was yesterday. Somehow I made it through the day, but after school Becca Hicks and I sat on the lawn in front of school and cried in each other’s arms. We were finally forced to face the harsh reality: Lela was in trouble. Ever since then she has had her ups and downs. Over the past 5 years she has dealt with speed addiction, trouble with the cops, and periods of sobriety where she excelled at work and in school.
I know that inside is still that girl who wants everyone to be happy. She is such a wonderful person and I don’t understand why the world treats her so harshly.
But no matter what happens to her or what she does I will always love her. She is one of the only people for whom I profess unconditional love.
Here is a chronological collection of poems I wrote for/about Lela…
Lela! (1986)
I love you Lela
You are nice to me
And your eyes shine like rubies
Fun (6/2/91)
Happy birthday Lela
I really like your party
I hope we all feela
Like cleaning the yardy
Untitled (10/92)
Lela,
Endangered flirtatious
Lover;
Always interested
Lela (1/11/92)
You act so sure
You seem so self-confident
But I know
-
You want everyone to like you
You feel the pressure
They are fooled
-
You need to know you’re cool
You accept the challenge
But you can’t fool me
-
You flirt with the guys
You do "cool" stuff
Only I really know you
-
You’ve done all the "cool" things
You hang with a "cool" crowd
But that’s not why I love you
The Mother’s Day Gift (5/20/99)
It’s not your traditional gift
It’s the best she can offer
She’s terrified
But she’s doing the right thing
She won’t do it for herself
But she’ll do it for her mom
Whose prayers are guiding her
She walks up the steps
And knows what’s coming
Detox
Confinement
Pain
She’s scared and weak
But she does it
Because love is stronger
And her love is strongest
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