Poemusicart Livingroom

* MOONLIGHT ************ my own room with windows wide open was trembling in moonlight the metronome was staggering stammering stumbling going to pieces breathless - time was gushing out of my piano under my fingers growing wave by wave in the moonlight - time was covering my house wave by wave in the moonlight - while I felt floating above it clinging to my piano like to a life-boat * *

* PHAETHON *********** "- Oh, Father, will You ever give me a proof that I am Your son! Make me believe that I'm a spark which dropped out of Your flame! Because I love You with a love yearning to reach You with a love longing to be You with a love which is also a doubt. - Oh, Father, give me one moment's proof that I am Your son! For one moment I will feel stronger than gloom even if I die afterwards! For what if one moment's spark dies, if the flame that has created it lives for ever? - Oh, Father, will You ever give me a proof that I am Your son!" * *

* SIRENS' ISLAND ****************** - Why are you afraid of yourself, Ulysses? Why are you tying your body with ropes defending yourself against yourself? Why are you fighting this fight in which you are a loser if you win? Go into the Blue Grotto of your own soul sink into its deep blue waters... Are you afraid you might drown yourself, Ulysses? It is your past which would be drowned, not you. Cheating is that mast you keep clinging to. Your ropes tie you to the past, Ulysses, and there is no past Ulysses - - My ropes keep me alive, Siren. They make of me a SON a FATHER a HUSBAND a KING a WARRIOR a GREEK they make of me ULYSSES they make of me a human being, Siren. - - Exactly. Just a human being, Ulysses. Try something beyond it Ulysses - - I want to stay alive, Siren. - - Try something beyond life and death Ulysses * *

* POPCORN STAR ******************* only once the golden seed of corn explode into a little popcorn star and no way back * *

* THE MAUVE KNIGHT ********************* there were three witches dancing in the night they called me in a roar of laughter their voices shrieked and seemed voices of mentally retarded children - I would have liked to run away why did I stay - I asked "What are you boiling there in that big cauldron?" they said "We're boiling your own time. Come see your future!" - I would have liked to run away why did I stay - I said "I do not want to see my future" but green-gray steam was rising from the cauldron a green-gray cauldron set upon a fire I was already breathing green-gray steam - why did I stay - they said "Come see your future in the bubbling water!" they pushed my head above the cauldron I closed my eyes I felt the heat I felt a putrid smell of dead jelly-fish lying on the beach I asked myself if they were boiling putrid jelly-fish from the filthy beach they shouted "You'll be found guilty... ...guilty... ...guilty... and we will drink your blood upon the threshold!" - I was asking myself which threshold when they let my head go and released me I didn't feel the hot steam any longer and opening my eyes I saw the witches dancing in the air like black bats with their black webbed wings their voices shrieked and seemed voices of mentally retarded children they shouted "You'll be found guilty... ...guilty... ...guilty..." flying in circles just above my head with their webbed wings like windmills in the air - - then a mauve spear pierced through the sky I heard the witches shout and Mauve Dawn came astride a cloud clad like a Mauve Knight on the threshold of light - I asked myself "Would I be rescued?" but the Mauve Knight relinquished his horse and gave me his spear he urged me to mount and then he said "FIGHT!" * *

* MENDING THE CEILING ************************ Thursday in the morning on a thunderstorm I opened the window and gathered rain-water in a white bowl I burnt mountain limestone into powder mixed it with pounded sea-shells and hashed threads of my white hair then poured everything into the water bowl stirring with my wand until I had the plaster needed to mend that break in the ceiling - I mounted the ladder with my bowl and trowel and began spreading the plaster while humming an old song the thunderstorm grew wilder the wind shattered the walls shattered the window-pane made me drop the trowel and the empty bowl I had no more ladder under my feet but I went on humming the old song smoothing the plaster with my hands as if dancing bare-handed on the ceiling telling the ceiling not to fall not to fall until the rain stopped the wind stopped a bright rainbow came like a roof above the ceiling and thick sun rays were thrown to me from the sky through the window like thick colorful ropes on which I climbed down with stained hands - I stopped singing looked up at the ceiling and saw it was mended * *

* END OF DAY ************** barbed wires of darkness spread on the bleeding sky at the end of the day and she was still running in the field of carnivorous thistles - thorny shadows of night came quicker and quicker and the hungry thistles were growing bigger up to her knees up to her hips up to her waist biting into her flesh with greedy poisonous thorns "You won't have me" she said - "Kneel down" they whispered "Just tell us who you really are where you've run from where you are running to and you'll feel no pain any longer" "I don't know" she replied "But try try hard to remember what's your name at least" "I've got no name" she said then the angry thistles grew still bigger up to her heart up to her shoulders up to her eyelids "You won't have me" she said "But who are you? There is no single substance in the cells of your body which has hot yet been dissolved by our poison. What remains you in yourself?" "I can't explain" she replied - then she saw the barbed wires of darkness surrounding her closer and closer and she knew she was trapped "You won't have me" she said "But what's still free in you?" they asked again "Is it intelligence?" "Oh, no!" she replied "Since the beginning of the day my weak empoisonned thoughts have hit their wings against your thorny fences" "Is it love?" "Oh, no!" she replied "The coldness of your thorns has long since benumbed my heart" "Is it innocence?" "How could it be?" she exclaimed "The blood of my innocence has been feeding your thorns for a long time" "Then what is there in yourself we cannot have?" "I don't know" she replied "I am what I am and that which is still me in myself has no name and no end." * *

* ORPHEUS ************* - Oh DOUBT, invisible snake horrible monster of Hell! What if she is not Eurydice? What if I am doomed to sing for ever in a stone-deaf deceiving Hell, on an endless road leading nowhere, fighting to give life and shape to a shadow? And is this shadow really Her? really Her? REALLY HER? * *

* SNOW-DROPS OF ROMANIA *************************** where were the snow-drops of my childhood? where were they during all these hot years on the Mediterranean shore? I thought they disappeared for ever buried together with my childhood far away in my beloved land of Romania - but tonight there was such a deep silence that I could suddenly hear the snow of old times falling lightly over my benumbed body and whitening my hair - tonight there was such a silence that I could hear the tiny spears of green-white snow-drops from under the blanket of time - "Hello sister!" they said "Here we are again! You've forgotten us but we haven't forgotten you, sister. We remember you as a girl, running in the snows of Romania, somewhat bold and somewhat shy... ...boy-like... ...weak... ...slender... ...plain... ...silly... ...awkward... with your frail green-white thoughts fighting the early snows. How are you now, sister?"

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* This page displays paintings by Lucia Zilberman and poems by Luiza Carol Web designer: Anika Kanter Movchine Music: "Birds' Mantra" by Luiza Carol *

You can visit Lucia's web: LUCH


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