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Amy Stephens turned around in front of the mirror, straining to see any bulges of fat that had escaped her scrutiny. With a dejected sigh she smoothed her skirt around her hips and turned away.
Amy walked slowly to the kitchen where her mother was cooking a delicious meal. As always, hoping for enough left-overs to make another meal, Mrs. Stephens was cooking more than enough for their family. Usually there were three, but on weekends Amy's older brother, Rob, was home from university.
"I'm going to eat over at Cindie's tonight, Mom."
"Oh, alright Amy. Make sure you're home by eight," said her tall, slim mother, looking up at her only daughter with a smile. Amy automatically returned the smile, and picked up her jacket on her way to the door.
Once outside, she looked at her watch and found it was only half past five. Amy slouched in her jacket and started walking. Half an hour later, she found herself at the city park. She wandered aimlessly past the children playing on the swings, the old men sitting on the benches talking about the weather and their grandchildren, and the young boys sailing toy boats on the small duck pond.
"Amy, hi!" The masculine voice from behind her made Amy jump. She whirled around to see handsome Greg Tomson smiling at her. "What brings you here?"
"Oh, um, I was just walking...." Her voice trailed off as she gestured vaguely in the direction she had been walking. Then her eyes accidentally met his, and she hastily began examining her shoes, trying to hide the flush that had crept into her face.
"So am I. I'm meeting Kevin and Brian and a couple other guys to play some football. Would you like to watch?" A moment later he added, "I think Brian's bringing Cindie."
Still examining her feet, Amy shyly replied, "Yeah. I'd like that," silently berating herself for sounding so stupid.
"Great!" Greg said with feeling. He bent his knees a little and peered up at her, trying to see her eyes. He looked so ridiculous Amy had to laugh, and a huge grin brightened Greg's face. They turned and continued down the path to the field where the others would be waiting. For Amy the walk was over all too soon. Cindie was standing with Brian, who had carelessly draped his arm around her shoulder. They were talking to Kevin and his girlfriend, Lizzie, whom Amy recognized from school. A group of five boys and as many girls were standing nearby, talking and laughing. Just then Kevin glanced up and spotted Greg.
"Hey, Tomson!" he called. Greg lifted a hand in greeting. "Let's go," yelled a boy Amy didn't know.
"I'll see you later, Amy, okay?" Greg asked.
"Okay," echoed Amy. He smiled and rested his hand on her shoulder for a brief second, and then he was gone, running easily across the field to join his friends. Amy watched him run for a moment, then wandered over to join her best friend.
"Amy! Was that really you with Greg? Wow! You must be so happy!" gushed Cindie.
As she paused to take a breath, Amy gushed back in a perfect imitation of her friend, "Cindie! Can you believe it? I'm so happy!" Then Cindie grabbed her hands, and they did a silly little dance, jumping up and down as they turned in a circle and squealed for joy.
"So, tell me all about it!" Cindie said, abruptly sitting on the grass. "Did he call you or did you call him? Did he ask you out? Are you going to go? Well, come on, answer me! Don't keep me in suspense!"
Laughing as she gingerly knelt in front of Cindie, Amy answered, "It would be a lot easier if you'd stop talking!" Cindie made a face, and Amy returned the favour, then continued, "No, he hasn't asked me out. I was just here, and he invited me to come watch him play football with his friends. He said you'd be here, or else I probably wouldn't have come. I'd feel so out of place. I don't know anyone here." Amy looked around at the other girls sitting slightly apart, as if to confirm that she really didn't know any of them.
"Well, you seem to know Greg pretty well," teased Cindie. Amy blushed and Cindie laughed. "You like him, don't you? Why have you never told me this before? And here I'm your best friend. I'm hurt." Cindie put on her best injured look and Amy burst out laughing. "Hey, look, Amy. I think Greg's showing off for you!"
Amy turned so she could have a better view of the guys and for the next half hour the two girls sat and watched. Occasionally Cindie yelled encouragement at Brian and intermittent comments by either girl punctuated the silence.
Suddenly the boys let out a yell, and Brian, Greg, and two others came running triumphantly toward the girls. Cindie and Amy rose and dusted any stray grass off of their clothes. Brian reached them first and he picked Cindie up off her feet and spun around with her. "We won! The losers over there," he gestured and Kevin and the others, "are taking us out for pizza."
"Would you like to come, Amy?" Greg asked with a hopeful look on his face. Amy glanced over his shoulder at Cindie who grinned and gave her a thumbs up sign. Amy nodded and said, "Okay," but it came out as a whisper.
Quickly taking charge of the situation, Cindie said, "Brian, you take Greg out to your car. Amy and I'll be there in a minute."
"Okay." Brian turned to Greg. "Greg, that was great when you...." His voice faded as the two boys walked away. As soon as they were out of earshot, Cindie and Amy repeated their happy dance.
"He asked you out!"
"I know." The girls suddenly stopped jumping and put on serious faces, then glanced at each other and burst out laughing again. Arm in arm they trailed the boys across the field to the parking lot.
"Oh, by the way, I told my mom I was eating over at your house," Amy said as they reached the car. "I'm on a diet, and you know how she thinks you must be sick if you don't eat a huge meal."
"Again?" questioned Cindie. "But yeah, that's fine. I doubt she'll be checking up on you. When do you have to be home?" The girls opened the car doors and got into the back seat.
"Eight. Let's see... it's only half past six now. That gives us tons of time."
Brian turned around in his seat and said, "Hello, ladies. Everybody in? We're going to the Pizza Place on 14th Avenue, right, Greg?" he asked as he backed the small red sports car out of the parking space.
"Yeah," Greg replied absently, smiling over his shoulder at Amy. A thrill ran down her spine and she shyly smiled back, then averted her eyes and looked out the window.
A few minutes later they arrived at the Pizza Place and were seated at a large booth. Soon the other cars had arrived and eight more kids piled into the restaurant. When a waitress came to take their orders, Amy ordered a salad. Everyone else ordered pizza. The drinks arrived almost immediately and as they sipped on them, everybody seemed to talk to everybody else.
Cindie and Brian were sitting together on one side of the table, facing Amy and Greg. The boys talked about the game, but the girls didn't appear to be having a conversation. However, that wasn't true. Anyone carefully watching their faces would be able to tell that Cindie was silently teasing Amy, by the way her eyes would dart back and forth between Amy and Greg, and the way she almost imperceptively puckered her lips. Amy blushed three different shades of scarlet and kicked Cindie hard under the table, then gave all of her attention to her diet cola until the food arrived.
The twelve kids talked and laughed and ate, and one by one or in twos drifted off until only Cindie, Brian, Greg, and Amy remained.
Amy glanced at her watch and was surprised to learn it was quarter to eight. "I should be getting home now," she said reluctantly during a lull in the conversation. As Brian made a move to stand, she continued, "I just live down the road, so I can walk."
"Okay," he said, sinking back into his seat, "I'll see you on Monday, then."
Greg quickly slid out of his seat to let Amy past. "I'll see you Monday, Amy." Although his words were nearly the same as Brian's, they left Amy with a much different feeling.
"Okay," she smiled. "Bye, Cindie." As she walked away, she could hear Cindie teasing Greg, and the good natured laughter of the boys.
Once Amy got home, she greeted her mother, then floated up to her room. She closed her door behind her, and momentarily closed her eyes. When she opened them, she was looking straight into the eyes of her reflection.
Her happiness faded as her eyes slowly travelled down her body. Although anyone else would have seen an attractive girl that was almost the perfect weight for her height, and who had never been any more than a pound overweight in her life, Amy saw an ugly, fat girl. The glow she had been so much in possession of when she left Greg had now completely faded. Amy tore her eyes away from the mirror and flung herself face down on her bed, and silently began crying.
After a few minutes of heart-wrenching sobs, she slowly stopped crying until she was laying exhausted on her bed. She grabbed the teddy bear that had been her favourite toy when she was young, and whispered, "It's been a long time, Teddy, I know, but I need you now." The bear smiled his permanent stitched-on smile at her and, somehow comforted, Amy fell asleep.
A little while later, Amy's mother knocked softly and opened the door to Amy's room. "Amy, I...." her voice trailed off as she saw her daughter peacefully sleeping, clutching her teddy. She crossed the room and shut the curtains, then left the room and returned a minute later with a blanket. She spread the cover over Amy's sleeping form, then walked softly to the door, turned out the light, and shut the door quietly behind her.
The following morning Amy woke up and stretched her stiff muscles. She looked at her alarm clock, wondering why it hadn't gone off, and groaned when she found it was only six o'clock. She groaned once more when she remembered that it was Sunday. She rolled over and tried to go back to sleep, but soon realized it was hopeless and got out of bed. She grabbed some clean clothes and headed for the bathroom.
Fifteen minutes later, she emerged feeling clean and refreshed after her shower. She dumped the clothes in which she had fallen asleep in the laundry basket, and then stood in front of the mirror hanging on the inside of her bedroom door and began untangling her hair, wincing when the comb got caught in a snarl. Amy glanced at her bed as she was about to go out the door, and noticed her teddy standing on its head on the floor. Amy crossed the room, picked up the toy and set it gently right side up on her pillow. Then she folded the quilt and set it on the foot of the bed. With a final glance around the room, Amy left and went downstairs to the kitchen.
She looked in the fridge and the cupboards, but nothing looked appetizing, so Amy decided to skip breakfast and instead go for a walk. She tore a piece of paper off the note pad by the phone and wrote a quick note assuring her mother she would be back soon in case she woke before Amy returned. Amy left the note on the table where her mother would be sure to find it, then took her jacket from its hook and put it on. She unlocked the door, stepped through and closed it, then took her key from her pocket and relocked the door. She replaced the key in her pocket, and decided that was a good place for her hands, too, so she left them there.
She wandered aimlessly for a while, enjoying the feeling of the crisp air in her lungs, and noticing the birds in the air and trees, and an occasional cat or dog. More than an hour after she left her house, Amy realized she was at the opposite side of the park she had been at the day before. On impulse, she turned and entered the park, and passed the pond, now glass-like and without ripples. She stopped and read the carving on the back of one of the benches where yesterday two old men had sat. Amy was about to pass the deserted playground when a sudden urge came over her.
Glancing around to make sure no one was watching, and feeling foolish for looking, Amy sat on a swing and tentatively pushed off with her feet. She began pumping with her legs and was soon flying through the air. Her cheeks took on a rosy glow, her eyes sparkled, and a beautiful smile lit up her whole face. Just as she was at the top of her swing and about to swoop down and forward, she became aware of someone below and slightly behind her. Amy carefully didn't turn her head, although she saw out of the corner of her eye that the person had sat down on the swing next to hers.
Resenting this intrusion on her privacy, and slightly embarrassed to be caught playing on swings, Amy stopped pumping and let her feet skim along the ground to slow her down so she could jump off. She was again at the top of her swing, momentarily stopped in mid air, and sneaked a glance at the person on the other swing.
Amy nearly fell off her seat in shock when she realized it was Greg Tomson. Blushing with a combination of embarrassment and pleasure, she looked away and once again began pumping her legs furiously, flying higher and higher, ignoring Greg who was doing the same thing beside her.
Now and then they would fly in formation for a swing or two, but their different speeds soon tore them apart and set them in opposite directions. Gradually, as they tired, they slowed until their swing were only gently swaying.
"Hi," smiled Greg, breaking the silence. Amy mumbled a reply, blushing from her head to her toes, one of which was scuffling the dirt under her swing.
"What brings you here? I thought I was the only one who came here this early, besides the joggers, but they don't count because I don't know any of them." Glancing at his watch he added, "Well, not so early. It's already 8:10."
Amy suddenly realized he was waiting for her to reply so she said, "I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep, so I decided to go for a walk. I came here and saw the swings so I...." Her voice trailed off, and for the third time that morning she felt her face go hot.
"Hey, don't blush!" Greg exclaimed, surprised. "I'm here at the park most mornings. Sometimes even big people play on the swings, although I must admit it's been a while for me." Amy appreciated, and was grateful for the fact that he was stalling to give her time to return to her normal colour.
An awkward silence descended while Amy's mind raced, trying to think of something to say. What seemed like ages later, Greg broke the silence by asking, "Would you like to go for a walk? There are some good trails over there." He pointed.
Resisting the urge to check if Greg was speaking to someone behind her, Amy nodded.
The two jumped off their swings and began walking, Greg with his hands in his pockets, and Amy on his right with her arms folded across her stomach. They followed a twisting trail in silence forever, or so it seemed, then Greg suddenly reached out and caught Amy by the arm.
When she looked at him questioningly, Greg put a finger to his lips to warn her to be quiet, then released his grip on her arm and pointed to the right of the trail a step or two in front of them.
A small black squirrel was standing upright, busily working on a seed he had found somewhere. Greg reached into his pocket and pulled out a partial package of peanuts, extracted two, and gave one to Amy.
Greg squatted and stretched his arm towards the little creature, the peanut sitting in his palm. A moment later, Amy mimicked him.
Having finished his seed, the diminutive animal looked up and noticed the two peanuts in the two hands. Slowly he inched towards them, then darted forward, and grabbed the peanut from Amy's hand. Amy accidentally gasped in delight, and the squirrel, startled, dashed back to where Greg had first spotted it.
Amy watched the squirrel deftly shell and begin nibbling on the nut, unaware that Greg was watching her almost as intently. Amy glanced at Greg and their eyes met for a moment. Both immediately turned their eyes back to the squirrel. The small creature, having finished the nut, stared back at them, then turned and practically flew up the nearest tree. Slowly Amy and Greg straightened up and stood with their faces turned to the sky, watching their tiny friend.
Greg walked over to the tree and placed his peanut on the ground beneath it. He turned and looked back at Amy, who came up and joined him, and they continued their walk. Just before the silence became uncomfortable, Greg glanced at Amy and asked, "So, what did you think of that squirrel?"
"Oh, he was so cute! I couldn't believe he took the peanut right out of my hand."
"Me neither," admitted Greg. "I come this way almost every day, but I've never had one take anything out of my hand before. I guess he liked you better!"
Amy laughed. "Yeah, right," she said. Then she looked almost surprised as she realized how self-degrading her tone had been. Greg hadn't appeared to notice, so she continued, "I think it's just because I was closer. You tamed him for me."
"That could be," Greg replied, but his tone was doubtful. "I still think he just liked you better."
Suddenly at a loss for words, they fell silent once again. The trail turned one final corner and deposited them back on the main path that ran through the park. The pair stopped, not knowing which way to turn.
Greg looked at his watch and groaned. "Oh, no. I'm supposed to be home right about now."
Amy glanced at her own watch which read 8:57. "I guess I should go home, too."
"Where do you live?" asked Greg.
"At 1405 Creston Avenue." Amy gestured down the path to their right.
"Oh, I know where that is. It's about three blocks from where I live. I'll walk you home," and, so saying, turned right and began walking.
Amy nearly fell over in surprise inside when Greg said that. She managed to catch up to him and outwardly remain calm, however. "Alright," she said, "Where do you live?"
"On 15th, just past the Pizza Place we were at yesterday."
"My house is way out of your way, then." Amy could have kicked herself. The last thing she wanted to do was make Greg change his mind about walking her home.
Amy was relieved when Greg quickly replied, "I know. I don't mind. So I'll just be a few minutes later."
Something in his voice made Amy look at him curiously, and she found that he was smiling warmly at her, a twinkle in his eyes, and a dimple showing in one of his cheeks.
That was it. Amy realized at that moment just how much she like Greg. She always had been partial to dimples.
Amy sat propped up in bed, a math book open on her lap. She sighed and closed her eyes, hoping that when she opened them again the confusing problems would rearrange themselves and make sense.
Her mind drifted back to that morning when Greg walked her home. The five blocks had not seemed nearly long enough, although their pace was far from brisk. Amy remembered talking and listening, but she could not now recall what they talked about. She also knew that when they weren't conversing, the silences were more friendly, and not as awkward as they had been earlier that morning. Most of all, Amy remembered the look of surprise on Greg's face when Amy announced, "Here we are," as they arrived at her house.
"Already?" Greg had asked. He looked as if he hadn't meant to speak out loud, Amy had noticed with pleasure.
A knock on her door brought Amy out of her reverie with a start. "Come in," she called.
The door opened and a handsome face peeked around the door. "Supper, Amy," said her brother.
"Okay, Rob. Thanks. I'll be there in a minute." Amy threw a disgusted look at her math book, slammed it shut and shoved it off her lap.
Rob didn't miss her frustration. "Problems?"
"Yeah. Math!" Amy replied, standing up.
"Oh." From the tone of his voice, Amy knew he understood perfectly. "Do you want me to help you later?" he asked over his shoulder as he left the room.
"That would be great," Amy replied thankfully, turning out the light and pulling the door closed behind her.
The two went down the stairs to the dining room where a delicious meal was waiting for them.
Amy took her place with her back to the window. Her mother sat on her right, her father on her left, and her brother across from her.
The food had been placed in the middle of the table, and Amy helped herself to a tiny scoop of mashed potatoes, the smallest slice of roast beef she could find, and a bit of salad.
"Goodness, Amy!" Mrs. Stephens exclaimed. "Are you sick? Look at how much food Rob took."
Amy glanced at her brother's plate, heaped with potatoes and meat smothered in gravy, a mountain of vegetables, and a good-sized helping of salad drenched in dressing.
"No, mom," mumbled Amy. "I'm just not very hungry." Amy realized with pride that this was true, although all she had eaten all day was a very small salad and a half an apple at lunch.
"You aren't on another one of your diets, are you?" her mother asked worriedly.
"No, mom," Amy lied, her eyes on her plate. She pushed her chair back and went to the kitchen, effectively ending the conversation. She returned a moment later carrying a pitcher of water. She poured some in her glass and set the pitcher gently on the table, then ate slowly in silence for the rest of the meal, only speaking if she was asked a direct question.
"Hey, Amy, how about that math now?"
"Alright, thanks." Amy and Rob got up from the table, and went up to Amy's room. After nearly half an hour of confusion on Amy's part, and patient explanation on Rob's, a light suddenly went on in Amy's head, and the mysteries of how to factor a trinomial or a cube suddenly were no longer mysterious.
"Thank you! You saved my life. Not to mention my grades!" exclaimed Amy, throwing her arms around her brother's neck. "I owe you one."
"Big time," teased Rob. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to study for a huge exam. Sometimes I wonder why I'm in med school - me who hates tests. There certainly are enough of them."
"I've told you before. It's because of that chicken scratch you call handwriting. All doctors have it," joked Amy not unkindly.
"Yeah, whatever." Rob laughed and left the room.
to be continued...