FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS DRIVE A FORD
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WHY DID FORD PUT HEATERS IN THE TAILGATES OF THEIR NEW TRUCKS?
To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the shop.
WHY ARE THERE SIDEWALKS BESIDE MOST STREETS AND HIWAYS?
So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.
HOW IS A GOLF BALL DIFFERENT FROM A FORD?
You can drive a golf ball 200 yards!
FORD ACRONYMS:
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
Backwards... Driver Returns On Foot
Backwards... Dorks Ride On Fords
Factory Ordered Road Disaster
Factory Ordered Rebuilt Dodge(Datsun)
Flip Over Read Directions
Four Old Rusted Doors
Fixed On Race Day
Ford Owner Really Dumb
For Only Retarded Drivers
Fabrication Ordinaire Reparation Dispendieuse - French for ordinary fabrication expensive repairs.
Ford Owners Recommend Dodge
Flipped Over Russian Dunebuggy
Found On Russian Dump
For Off Road Death
it Freaking Only Runs Downhill
Fat Old Rusted Dog
Freaking Old Rusted Dodge(Datsun)
Frigin Oakies Really Dig it
Funky Old Road Dog
Found On Roadside's Destroyed
Backwards...Don't Ride Over Fifty
Fixed-up Old Repossesed Dodge
Found Old Rebuilt Dodge
Forget OutRunning Dale
Found On Railroad Deserted
Found On Railroad Dead
Fools Only Read Directions
PINTO ACRONYMS:
Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
Put In New Transmission Often
Put In Nickel To Operate
MUSTANG ACRONYMS:
Massively Under-Sized Tires And No Go
LINE FROM A SONG SUNG BY A FAMOUS COUNTRY SINGER
"I wanta buy me a Ford truck and push it up and down the road."
ONE WORD:
Pinto
- This is Chevy country and on a quiet night you can hear a Ford rust...
- A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school
and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept
walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the
car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on
the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with
me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl
turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Ford, YOU ride in it!!!"
- Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
If it wasn't for our Fords,
our tools would rust.
- This is your brain "CHEVY", this is your brain on drugs "FORD"
- Buy a Ford and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the rest.
- Have you driven over a Ford lately?
- Ford trucks the worst always rest
- My parents just bought me a Ford Mustang. "So what did you do to them to tick them off?"
- I could never keep a Ford under me, I was always under the Ford.
- Do you know that Ford has admitted they are expensive and unreliable?
That new commercial they are running says so!
When that country singer says "If I had me some money" he admits he can't
afford one, and when he adds that he'd "buy a Ford truck or two" it because
he needs a spare.
- Next time some Fordnatic claims Ford means "First on race day" remind them
that anything could be fast if a team of mechanics worked on it all week so
it would last long enoug to run a race before needing another weeks work.
- WHY ARE THE NEW FORD TRUCKS MORE AERODYNAMIC?
So they will save the Chevy gas when the Chevy tows them away.
- WHAT SHOULD THE FORD MUSTANG REALLY BE CALLED?
The Ford Rustang
- WHY IS THIS COUNTRY SO FAR IN DEBT?
Because the President drives a Ford
- WHAT DID THE CHEVY SAY TO THE FORD?
Would you like a tow home?
- HOW CAN THEY APPROVE THE NEW FORD TRUCK?
Put a Chevy engine in it.
- HOW MUCH WOOD CAN A FORD TRUCK HAUL IF A FORD TRUCK COULD HAUL WOOD?
As much as the Chevrolet tow truck in front of it.
- WHAT SHOULD A FORD THUNDERBIRD REALLY BE CALLED?
A ford thunderturd
SPEED KILLS
DRIVE A FORD
LIVE FOR EVER
- I'd rather push a Chevy than drive a Ford!
- HOW DO YOU DOUBLE THE VALUE OF A PINTO?
Fill it with gas!
- Ford Escort Me To A Chevrolet Dealer.
- Have you outdriven a Ford lately?
- WHAT SHOULD A FORD TAURUS REALLY BE CALLED?
A Ford Tortious
- WHAT SHOULD THE MERCURY COUGAR REALLY BE CALLED?
"The Mercury Bougar"
- If Ford mean's(First on race day)
It is only because it is still
there from the last race day.
- Ford is just jellouse because
Chevy is cheaper and we get
to wear our bowtie's all the time.
- Have you dusted a Ford lately?
- WHAT'S WORSE THAN DRINKING FROM THE TOLIET?
Driving a Ford
- Dusk to dusk
Hump to hump
There went
The ford in
The dump.
- From the past 10 years about 90% of Ford trucks are still on the road, the other 10% made it home.
- WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
To push his F-150 back into the shop
- WHY DIDN'T THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
His F-150 got stuck
- Not Mustang its MUDstain
- Ford Explorer=Ford Exploder
- They are putting handwarmers in all the new FORD cars and trucks.......in the
trunk deck on cars, and in the tailgates on the pickups.......good news for
the owners, their hands won't freeze when they are pushing them home!
- WHY ARE FORD DEALERS GIVING AWAY A FREE GERMAN SHEPARD PUPPY WITH EVERY NEW TRUCK?
So the owners will have someone to walk home with.
- WHAT SHOULD THEY CALL THE MUSTANG?
The Must Bang
Remember the old ford commercial song? " Ford sucks, the worst trucks ever made, Ford sucks"
Built Ford tough with Chevy stuff!!
WHY DO THE NEW F-150'S HAVE LARGER SCALE BUMPERS?
It makes it easier on the tow truck.
DID YOU KNOW THAT FORD HAS A NEW MAGNETIZED BUMPER?
They needed something to pick up the parts that fell off along the way.
To the people who say they would rather push a ford than drive a chevy
usually do.
A Texan was talking big in a bar one night about how much money he had,how
many women he had been with and how much land he owned. A young man,
growing tired of all the big talk finally asked the Texan, "Just how much
land do you actually own"? The Texan tipped back his cowboy hat and said to
the young man " Well sonny
let me put it to ya like this, I can get in my pickup at sunrise, drive all
day long,skip lunch and still not get to the other side of my property by
sundown". The young man shot back quickly, " Oh yeah, I know what you mean, I used to
own a Ford truck too"!
Another country song quoet. Oowo I didn't know the worn out Ford could
go so slow you've got to put your foot down on the floor!
WHAT SHOULD THE FORD PROBE REALLY BE CALLED?
The Ford Problem!
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