(8/24/99-10:18AM) WOO-HOO! For those of you just tuning in, let me bring you up-to-date. It's now almost a year and a half after my last update. In March of last year I bought a house. Pictures will be posted soon at my other homepage at Magpage. This will still be my Volvo site, and I will update it as soon as I do anything to my car (No, it still doesn't run, yes, it is a little more together than the pictures show.) I'm no longer working for the bank (geez, how many people would even know that I was?) I'm now a computer programmer for the State of Delaware. So there. That's your update. Remember to check back often. If you stay away more than a couple years, you might miss something. Oh, and about "Dante's Peak", I bought it on laserdisc. Mainly so I could subject my friends to it. Of course, they seemed to dislike "Lost in Space" even more. Even with Heather Graham. I think they're gay.

(4/17/98-1:58AM) I'm angry. I'm angry nobody fucking warned me about "Dante's Peak". I mean, when something is this reprehensibly bad, almost so bad as to cause spontaneous brain hemorrhaging, you would think somebody would say something, right? Well, if anybody did, I forgot. When I take the movie back to the rental place tomorrow I'm asking for my $3.50 back as well the 2 hours I spent watching the movie. I'm not leaving without $3.50 and 2 hours of time in my pocket. I would go in to detail about the specific things that made this movie soooooo wretched, but it would only cause me to relive the experience. Lets just say this movie did for real cinema what the Hindenburg did for the future of travel by dirigible. 'Nuff said.

NEXT TOPIC: I'm tired of putting together fucking furniture. I bought some dressers from IKEA today and when I opened them up they were 2'x5'x8" blocks of unfinished pine with instructions on how to cut the block, plane the boards you cut from the block, drill and router the boards you planed and finish the wood. I expect by next year's thaw I might be able to construct something resembling a beaver dam from the parts.

IN OTHER NEWS: I bought a house and many furnishings. I saw "Lost in Space" and thought it was pretty good. I think my old roommates stole my hammer. I bought a Soloflex from a friend for cheap. I'm still single. I watched about half of that "Daria" show on MTV today and actually liked it. It was about how this ex-football star from the high school comes back and is acting like a complete dick and then he dies. Nobody can understand why Daria isn't upset about it, even her best friend. It was kinda cool.

I should put a counter on this page to see if ANYBODY reads it. Oh well. Maybe I'll do a mass mailing about it. If it keeps one unsuspecting soul from seeing "Dante's Peak" it's worthwhile.