The Blue Crab Adventure

By; Donna (...and Shannon)

Back in 1985, I was working for a small television guide tabloid as an advertising sales representative. One of my clients sold fresh seafood. One evening, as I was making my usual call on this particular client, he had a fresh shipment of Blue Crab arrive from New Orleans. Having developed a love for fresh crab while living in New Orleans for six months, I couldn't resist the thought of being able to have fresh crab in the middle of Missouri for dinner! My daughter, Shannon, who was about 12 years old at the time, loved crab as much, if not more than I did. Dinner tonight would be a treat for both of us! Unless, of course, Shannon would have a problem eating something that she had seen alive. I could hardly wait to get home and surprise her! I bought six of the most mouth-watering specimens you have ever seen! These beauties had been stored in a cooler just above freezing to keep them from moving around and injuring one another. My drive home would only be about 25 miles, so my client assured me there would be no chance of the little beauties 'coming to' before I was ready to plop them into the pot. All six were gently tucked into a paper grocery bag and placed on the back floorboard of my car and I set out for home.

The drive home was very relaxing. It was tourist season at the Lake of the Ozarks and my sales area encompassed bits and pieces of the whole Lake area. Since it was not a major holiday, traffic wasn't too bad and I was making good time getting home...until I hit Lake Ozark proper. There was a bit of a traffic jam, but nothing to worry about, these things were usually only caused from minor fender benders and would only restrict traffic for a very few minutes. Whatever problem there was up ahead must have been a bit worse than normal...time began to drag...I got out some of my sales notes and began to organize my calls for the next day.

Suddenly, I began to hear strange scratching noises coming from the back seat area...Oh, my God! I had been so engrossed in the traffic jam and my schedule planning that I had forgotten about the live cargo I was carrying! I looked back at the bag...it was still secure! Whew! The traffic jam was also beginning to clear and I was moving again...slowly the pace increased until I was clipping right along at the speed limit. I continued to keep one ear to the back seat area...just in case...but all was quiet now, the scratching had stopped. I began to relax once again.

That last mile home is always so inviting to me...home sweet home. YEEEOOOuch! Someing bit me! I looked down toward my foot and to my horror, there was a crab hanging on to my ankle! Holy SHEEit! Now I am only a block from home but I am in a total and complete ape-shit panic! I'm screaming bloody murder...there are more of them down there now...feels like hundreds of them! I am convinced that the reason I didn't hear anything out of them for so long is because they were silently breeding...there HAD to be literally hundreds of them now...all crawling all over one another trying to get the biggest chunk of my legs! I finally manage to pull into my drive, still screaming! Shannon ran outside to the car, not knowing what in the world was the matter...I yelled to her, "Help me get these crabs off me!"

Well...a 12 year old girl learns lots of things in school...in health sciences, they learn about personal hygiene, ie., head lice, body crabs...the look of horror on Shannon's face must have equalled mine! As I flung the car door open and shook one of the creatures off my leg, she came to her senses and realized just exactly what my problem was! I jerked the now empty bag out of the back of the car and yelled for Shannon to help me catch them and put them back in the bag! She calmly said..."With what?" It was at that moment that I realized neither one of us wanted to actually pick one of them up bare handed...I told her to run into the house and get something to catch them with. Darling daughter came running back outside with a pair of hotdog tongs which she handed to me. I grab a leg...the leg rips off of the crab and the crab limps off...and on it goes until I have a bag full of crab legs and crab bodies with a maximum of two legs actually attached! The battle was won! We are exausted...we go into the kitchen, set the crab bag down in the floor next to the stove and make sure the top is very secure! We prepare the pot...put in the crab boil...the water is boiling and by now, we are beginning to laugh about the whole experience....until we notice movement out of the corner of our eyes...THEY WERE LOOSE AGAIN! One and two legged crab scooting all over the kitchen floor...some with no legs being spun and shot around by the other more ambulatory ones! "Quick! Get the hotdog tongs!", yells Shannon. I grab for the tongs and yell for Shannon to guard the doorway between the kitchen and the living room...she looks like a goalie at a soccer game...she's busy kicking each runaway crab back into the kitchen...I'm back to grabbing and jerking off legs...but this time, I'm throwing them into the boiling cauldron...not back into the bag! As the last pitiful crab without legs is thrown into the pot, Shannon and I stand arms-around-shoulders like a couple of puffed-up gladiator chicks. I asked Shannon if she was sure she would be able to eat them after seeing them alive and she said, "OOOOH YES! They deserve it!" : )

I now understand big game hunters a little bit better. There's alot of satisfaction when your main course is something that tried to make you its main course...and scared the hell out of you in the process! : )

Back to Donna's Place

Drop me a line at the below addy anytime! This was just another 'adventure' I was privileged to have with my daughter as she was growing up...a real-life 'adventure' that has turned into one of our favorite memories! Many thanks for taking the time to visit! ...Donna

Graphics for this page were found at the following wonderful graphic sites:

Page created July 1998.

GeoCities Get your own Free Home Page