April Archives

Wednesday, April 14, 2004 -- 12:25 pm
Music in CD Player: the distant sound of my brother's music coming from the bathroom
Mood: crappy

Life pretty much sucks right now. End of story.

First comes love and then comes pain -- let the games begin... - Pearl Jam

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Wednesday, April 21, 2004 -- 4:02 pm
Music in CD Player - Owen, ST album
Mood: peaceful, pensive

Didn't get called into work, even though I was "on call." Yay. Last time, the first time I was "on call," I got called in. Looks like another pleasant evening alone with homework my best company, along with a menagerie of buddies on AIM. I'm too addicted to that damn program.

Um, as for recent events...I'd really rather not discuss it. You don't want to hear about it, anyway, if you haven't already. It's a mess. I don't know. I'm getting better. I'm sorry for the person I am -- not good enough, obviously. Oh well. I like me. I guess some other people do, too. It'll prolly be college when I'll find that out.

College...I'm definitely going to SU. Dad called up the Financial Aid office during vacation and told them that I really wanted to go there, but at the amount of financial aid they first offered me, there was no way I could afford to go. So, they upped one of the grants by $6,000. Big boost. That's really all we needed -- I'm definitely going. Thank God, I can get out of here. I need to get away, definitely. I'm really excited to be going to Syracuse. Hell, even Pete Yorn went there, and look at how he turned out.

Relationships are crumbling, and there's nothing I can do to salvage the broken pieces. Either that, or they're just petering out into inevitable oblivion, like a ship descending and finally disappearing into the horizon. It's time for a new start, a new life, a change of pace, any spark of hope of survival and the notion that life goes on. I'm not depressed, just thoughtful and melancholy. Been thinking about the past...Yeah, it's all over, but there's still that unquenchable spark of undying hope within that squeaks out, "Don't give up," from the depths of my unconsciousness. The thing is that a small part of me wants to stay on and listen...*sigh*.

I'm going to prom with Brant, because of, as previously mentioned, "recent events." Should be good times. It's been destined for some reason since I met him that Brant and I would go to prom together, anyway. I had this big feeling that we would go together, no matter what. Odd, how things turn out in the end...

36 (school) days left until graduation. Bring it on. I can't wait.

It's the best thing that you've ever had.
The best thing you have had has gone away... - Radiohead

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