A biting incident creates distress for everyone. A child gets hurt. Caregivers feel shocked and often helpless. Parents, hearing that their child got bitten or did the biting, get angry. Caregivers find themselves caught in the middle. The more they try to explain, the more defensive they become.

Biting is a common problem in children 12 to 36 months old. Not all toddlers bite as part of their social behavior, but the few that do can create havoc in a child care group. Understanding why children bite and taking precautions can help reduce biting incidents and prevent them from happening.

Why children bite
Experts disagree about the exact cause of biting. Infants and toddlers who are teething sometimes bite others to apply pressure to their gums. Other children sometimes bite while trying to give kisses and show affection.

Many toddlers, however, bite during or after periods of conflict. For this reason, experts believe that most biting is a primitive form of communication.

Toddlers face conflicts every day while learning social skills, language, and self-control. During conflicts, intense negative feelings like frustration, anger, fear, and confusion build up. "Strong feelings, such as anger, overwhelm and thus frighten young children," says Janice Beaty, author of a number of college early childhood textbooks. Young children who don't know how to control negative emotions are most likely to use methods like biting to stop uncomfortable situation by taking action that makes them feel less helpless," says Alicia Lieberman (1993). Eleanor Reynolds (1996) further explains that toddlers may not completely understand that their actions hurt others. Until children reach 24 months, they most likely will not be able to make the connection between their mouths and another child's pain.

Sometimes caregivers or parents assume that a child bites as part of a hateful plan or intent to do harm. However, "detailed observation shows that the child is merely confused or responding to the behavior of others," writes Naomi Richman (1988).

Biting normally stops by age 3. If it continues after the third year, it may indicate other problems. In that case, caregivers can refer parents and the child for counseling.

What to do when biting occurs
When one child bites another, immediately make it clear that the behavior is unacceptable (Douglas, 1989). Whether the cause is sore gums or a fight over a toy, the first response is to say, "No, biting is not OK>"

In a case of conflict, such as the example of Michael and Katie, acknowledge the biter's emotions without condoning the actions. this lets the child know that feelings are acceptable and normal but the behavior must be controlled when it harms others (Weissbourd, 1994). Emphasize the consequences: "I know you're frustrated, but I can't let you bite your friends. It hurts them."

Attend to the biting victim, offering comfort and first aid as necessary. Cover the bite with a cold wet washcloth, and sooth the child's tears. The biter then witnesses the extent of the pain. This comforting action can help toddlers understand consequences. It also conveys the message that hurting others is not a way for biters to get attention for themselves.

When biters are older than 2 years, involve them in the care of the wounded to further emphasize the painful consequences. Be careful, however, that the biter does not make a game out of comforting victims. It it becomes a game, do not allow the biter to help (Reynolds, 1996).

Never bite children to show them "how it feels" or encourage children to bite back. This only signals acceptance of such behavior and creates another victim (Reynolds, 1996). Besides, harming children is ethically wrong and can raise legal issues.

What are the biter's patterns?
Once a child has bitten someone, caregivers need to supervise the group carefully and look for situations that can trigger more biting behavior. Physical well-being, environment, and emotional stress all play their part, says Patsy McCreary, infant-toddler develoment professor at Austin Community College. Adults need to take these factors into consideration to help improve the way children deal with emotions. "Fixing a symptom without addressing the problem will only result in new symptoms," she says.

Here some tips for oberving children:

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