Title: Passion's
Tears
Author: Tara W.
Post date: 10/4/99
Classification: MSR/Angst (maybe just a little smut)
Rating: NC-17 for sexual content
Spoilers: Vague references to several past episodes
Distribution: just ask & please keep my name with it
Email: xtara@abts.net
Disclaimer: I *only* wish I were Mulder and Scully's puppeteer.
The X-Files characters mentioned in this story do not belong to
me, but to Chris Carter, FOX, and Ten Thirteen productions.
Summary: A character death and Mulder *needs* to know that he isn't alone.
:)Note from Author: This is my first attempt at writing fanfic, so feedback
will be greatly appreciated.
--Passion's Tears--
by: Tara W.
Mulder closed *their* office door a bit too loudly
causing Scully to cringe slightly. Double-checking the lock, he placed
his hand at the small of her back as they turned the corner.
"Big plans this weekend?" he asked in his
best congenial voice.
"Yes, actually, I do," she replied, amused
by Mulder's surprised expression. "I have that family reunion at my
mother's, remember? I told you about it last week."
Mulder feigned complete ignorance. "That's
news to me," he said. "A Scully family reunion. Sounds
like fun."
"More fun than the ice capades?" she teased.
A sigh escaped through his smile. "So when
is the Scullypalooza?"
The elevator doors slid open, and they stepped inside.
"Tomorrow at noon." Scully stretched her neck from side-to-side
in an effort to relieve the building tension.
"Tough week, huh, but hey, at least it was all
'normal' stuff, right? Ya know, serial killers, kidnappers, child molesters,
and so on and so on." He hadn't meant that as heavy-hearted as it
had come out, but for some reason, his treasured sarcasm had eluded him all
day.
'Normal' stuff? The phrase almost made Scully
laugh. Almost. If only there was some out-of-this-world explanation
for such worldly normalcy’s. "How about you?" she asked in need
of 'normal' conversation. "Any plans this weekend?"
"Oh, ya know, a little basketball here, a little
video tape there, and a little sunflower seed everywhere," he replied too
wryly for his own liking. He offered an I'm-full-of-it grin in response
to her pity smile which seemed to be the only kind of smile she was capable of
giving him these days.
In the parking garage, they said their
see-ya-Monday-goodbyes, and Mulder waited until Scully had driven out of sight
to crank his car. He laughed softly. What he wouldn't give to be a
fly on the wall at the Scully household come tomorrow. He imagined
himself showing up unexpectedly to *his* own Scully's dismay. Mrs. Scully
would probably invite him to stay, but a confrontation with Bill Jr. was not
exactly on Mulder's to-do list this weekend. Mulder's jovial mood quickly
turned darker as a pang of bitterness squeezed at his heart. He'd had his
own family to muse over once-upon-a-time, but now, the word 'family' was as
alien to him as the little men that he so desperately pursued.
-----
Mulder's Apt.
3:23 a.m. (Saturday)
He had just fallen asleep when it started again.
Flashes of Watergate on the television, a board game, a little dark-haired
girl annoyed by her brother's choice of programming, shaking, a bright light...
Suddenly, the little dark-haired girl transformed into a little blue-eyed girl
smiling at his Mr. Potato Head impression, and then she was gone. A tiny
gold crucifix dangled from his fingers, and *she* was lying in a hospital bed.
She had had the strength of his beliefs as well as her own, but now, he held
her hand crying in silence lost in his own beliefs. Now, she was in his
arms; their lips so close, but he was losing her again. She held his hand
as the little dark-haired girl floated out of his life, and she smiled, a mimic
of the blue-eyed child's. The bright light dimmed as he heard the faint
sound of crying. His mother's tears. "Fox!" ...
Mulder slammed his foot against the coffee table as he jerked himself awake.
Pain shot through his ankle, and he grabbed it muttering an inaudible curse.
Rubbing his ankle with one hand, Mulder used the other to run through his
sweat-dampened hair. Deciding sleep would be a long-time in coming, he
got up to get a glass of water, popping a tape in along the way.
----
Mulder's Apt.
6 hours later
The phone rang just as Mulder stepped out of the
shower. By the time he'd reached it, the answering machine clicked on.
Grabbing the receiver, he nearly shouted, "I'm here."
"Fox Mulder?" The male voice was low and
unfamiliar.
"Yeah, who's this?"
"Mr. Mulder, this is Dr. Hagan, your mother's
physician. I'm afraid I have some bad news. Your mother was brought
to the ER late last night with chest pains. She had suffered another
stroke, and until an hour ago, we were confident that she was stabilized.
Mr. Mulder, I'm very sorry, but...
No, don't say it, Mulder's mind pleaded before it
numbed itself. A familiar sorrow invaded his body like an old friend.
----
Mulder's Apt.
9 hours later
The couch sunk under his weight as he let himself fall
onto it wishing it would swallow him whole. He had gone to see her.
His mother. He had quietly gone through all the legalities, but the
funeral arrangements were still incomplete. His mind couldn't function.
How could she leave him too? Angry tears began stinging his eyes but
would not fall. He could feel them building in his head, but they would
not fall. His head pounded and his heart ached. The apartment had
never felt so empty. He had never felt so empty. Maybe it was the
sleepless night or the dream, but Mulder had never felt so alone. His
eyes closed and a vision came to him.
----
Margaret Scully's home
6:47 p.m.
Scully listened as her brother informed the family
about another of his naval adventures. She watched her mother and smiled.
The afternoon get-together had turned into a special evening, and her mother
could not have been more happy. Glancing at a photo on the mantle, Scully
grimaced. If only her father and sister could have been here.
Absent-mindedly grasping her cross, she squeezed it tightly and turned her
attention back to her big brother.
Through the chattering and laughter, no one seemed to
hear the telephone ringing. The answering machine cut on.
Scully had just set her glass of tea down and was
smiling at her brother when a loud and distressed voice roared through the
answering machine.
"Scully!"
The room silenced and all eyes were on the before-mentioned
Scully.
"Scully!" the voice roared again and then
softened. "Please..."
Concern bolted through Scully as she rushed to the
phone; worry wrinkling her brow as she grabbed the receiver.
"Scul...!"
"Mulder, I'm here. What is it? What's
wrong?" There was a moment of silence, and she could hear his haggard
breath.
"Scully?" he asked softly not sure if he had
really heard her voice.
"I'm here, Mulder. What is it?"
"She's gone, Scully. She's really
gone." His voice was a strained whisper.
"Who's gone, Mulder? What..."
"My mother. She's gone, Scully.
Another stroke."
Scully closed her eyes and shook her head opening them
again. "Oh, no, Mulder. I'm sorry." The words were
soft and laced with gentleness, and Scully wished that she could see his face.
Another fleeting moment of silence and then, "I
need you."
Scully didn't know how to respond to his raspy demand,
but she knew that he shouldn't be alone.
"I'll come by as soon as we're finished here, all
right, and then..."
"No, Scully, I need you now.
Please..." His voice broke.
She could refuse him practically nothing.
Meeting her mother's eyes with an apologetic expression, Scully surrendered,
"All right. I'm on my way."
----
Mulder's Apt.
10:00 p.m.
The door swung open after the first knock, and his
eyes locked with hers. His apartment was a dark backdrop behind him. Scully
could tell that he hadn't slept but had been trying. His eyes were red
with dark circles frowning under them, and his hair was a tousled mess.
He was wearing blue jeans and nothing else.
"Mulder," she began but he didn't let her
finish. Taking her arm, he pulled her inside pushing her back against the
door until it closed; then he was pulling her into a fierce embrace. His
arms encircled her waist lifting her onto her tiptoes. His face burrowed
into her neck, and he inhaled deeply. He held her, and she held him back;
her arms having encircled his neck. Time seem to still as they stood
there wrapped in one another.
His lips met the flesh beneath her ear, and she
shivered. "Mulder," she whispered, knowing he wasn't thinking
clearly. She felt his hot breath in her ear as his lips moved to her
cheek. His head rested against the side of hers as his hands traveled up
and down her hips. She heard his breath catch in his throat as if he were
about to say something, but he only kissed her cheek again, then her forehead,
and the tip of her nose. Something changed after that. His pain was
nearly a tangible entity enveloping them. She could feel it around him.
When he kissed her, she let him, wanting to become a part of his pain, but the
kiss itself teetered on the edge of pain. His tongue plunged into her
mouth with a bruising forcefulness that left her breathless. She could
feel the buttons of her silk blouse give away at his touch and then his touch.
Tearing his mouth away from hers, he shoved her back against the door.
Eyes unfocused, Mulder pushed the last barrier of fabric keeping her from his
touch up above her chest letting her breasts sway freely. One hand
kneaded her breast as if she were a sculpture made out of clay, while the
other cupped her face for a second taste of her mouth.
His mouth swept a scolding trail to her shoulder where
she felt his teeth nip at her skin. Scully swallowed a moan when his
hands snaked behind her back to squeeze the rounded flesh he found there.
Pulling her lower body hard against his throbbing erection caused a groan to
escape him. Scully felt her knee-length skirt sliding up her thighs to
rest around her midriff. Mulder quickly tucked it into her waistband as
he dropped to his knees. He swiftly jerked her panties down her legs,
lifting one foot and then the other.
Scully looked down to find him staring at her
nakedness, and her equilibrium wavered. She knew that she should stop
this, but her mind was in no position to compete with the molten lava surging
through her veins to swirl between her thighs. His mouth. She
needed his mouth.
His mouth fell on her thigh before moving upward where
his velvet tongue licked across one crease between her thigh and burning center
and then the other. He nudged her legs farther apart. The sound of tortuous
pleasure filled their black surroundings as his tongue plunged into her aching
need. His tongue traced the inside of her slickened folds. Up and
down. Up and down. Then his mouth found the hidden bundle of nerves
and sucked it between his lips.
Scully's heart thudded against her chest. She could
feel her stomach churning, could feel the muscles tightening. Her skin
was on fire. "Mulder, please," she whispered hoarsely.
The sensation of a long finger pushing into her heat as his mouth continued to
ply the very heart of her caused her to thrust toward him.
"Mulder!"
His mouth left her just as the quaking began. A
chill ran through her and tears pooled in her eyes. He stood before her
and placed her hand over his raging desire. Her other hand caressed the
stubbled skin of his jaw line. "Scully," he breathed heavily
letting his full weight press her more firmly against the door. Grabbing
her wrists, he placed her hands on his shoulders then set to work at freeing
himself.
Running his hands over her behind, he grasped the back
of her thighs and lifted her. Scully gripped his shoulders more tightly
as her legs wrapped around him. Her back against the door, Mulder still
held the back of her thighs as he pulled back to steady himself then delved
into her secret depths.
So deep, Scully thought as her arms encircled his neck
pulling him even closer. She kissed his shoulder and ran her tongue over
his sweat-slicked skin. Her eyes fluttered before closing; her face
contorting in pleasure at his first thrust. She squeezed him tightly, her
breasts sliding against his chest with each movement. Faster and faster
until her nipples painfully hardened. He let them fall against the door;
one arm encircling her back while the other slammed against the door for
balance as he pushed into her. She was holding him so tightly, her nails
biting into his back. His breathing quickened as did his thrusts.
He needed more. Needed everything. She was matching him thrust for
thrust as their bodies beat against the solid surface of the door. He
felt her clench around him and felt her body convulsing against his. His
name a fevered litany of cries. He continued to pound into her, and she
planted kisses across his face before hugging him close. Harder and
harder, he pushed. It was coming. He could feel it tickling his
insides. Sweet release.
A forceful thrust and his body exploded. A loud,
guttural groan and he cried out for her as if she wasn't there. He slid
to his knees; Scully still in his arms, wrapped around him. Their
breathing becoming one breath; their hearts becoming one beat.
He held her close and felt them again. Those
stinging tears building in his head. Raising his head, he kissed her
swollen lips. Reaching behind her, he unclasped her bra and pulled it away
kissing the red lines left in its place. A shudder ran through him, and
he buried his face between her breasts.
Scully felt the warm tears falling from his eyes onto
her skin, streaking down her body.
Breaking the silence, he strained, "I'm sorry,
Scully. I needed you. Needed to be with you. I don't know
what the hell is wrong with me. I just... I needed to know that I wasn't
alone, and you... You're all I have left, Scully. I..."
Scully smiled as her own tears began to fall and
lifted his head, so she could see his face. "I'm sorry about your
mother, Mulder, but you will *never* be alone," she stated as if it were a
known fact. "I will always be with you. No matter what."
"You," he whispered, "I love."
Having made this confession, Mulder exhaled a weak laugh. "Guess I
should've mentioned that a long time ago, huh?"
"I already knew," she said, kissing him
lightly. "And Mulder, I lo..."
Swallowing the words with his own kiss, he smiled.
"I already know."
Her smile faded at his stressful grunt.
"What is it?" she asked softly.
"Well, I think we should get out of this position
before I suffer some permanent damage."
"I do love you," she laughed.
----The End----
************
Thanks so much for reading this story!!
:)Let me know what you think at xtara@abts.net.