CJRL 1998 June Headlines
From June 27, 1998
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AUCTION PHOTOS DEVELOPED AND SCANNED!
Check out the sights (sorry--no sounds!) from our 1998 Auction Draft--CJRL Photos.
While you're at it, check out the Knuckle Knocker team motto on his team page. Championship pages will be online for 1990-1995 as soon as possible.
ANOTHER GIVEAWAY BLUNDER--IT'S GINSU KNIVES NIGHT IN HUB CITY!
From the "Would you believe?" department, at least 17 players and over 200 fans were injured in last Friday night's Hub City Skels--Super Kings match-up. Owner Tom Kaminski, eager to please his junior partners with increased attendance, held a new promotional night called Ginsu Knives Night. Fans tossed the knives onto the field after Curtis Pride was called out trying to stretch a double into a triple. Most of the injured only incurred flesh wounds, but Ellis Burks and Vinny Castilla of the Skels both had to be carted off the field in a stretcher. Both are listed in stable condition.
The media has been relentless in its criticism of Skels owner Tom Kaminski. Tim McCarver stated: "What was Kaminski thinking. First you have Mike Chodroff of the Peacekeepers doing some kind of canned food giveaway which results in injury and lawsuits. Now we have the mother of all giveaway goofs--Ginsu Knives!". Long-time New York Yankee broadcaster and Hall of Famer Phil Rizzuto added: "Holy Cow! Can you beat that? I've heard of canoli night, but Ginsu Knives night?".
Tom Kaminski was reached at his villa on the French Riveria. "How can you blame me for the antics of a rowdy bunch of fans? I acted with care and we only gave the knives to fans five years of age or older. I mean, I didn't tell them to throw the knives. And to tell you the truth, Pride was safe and I'm glad the fans had an outlet for their frustrations."
Super Kings owners Art and Kathy Johnson were among the fans injured in the fiasco. Art commented: "This kind of thing happens every once in a while. We once had Pepper Spray Day at Super Kings Park. It didn't work out to well." Kathy Johnson added: "Yeah. We are still making payments on the class-action lawuit we lost over that darn pepper spray."
DNTs--THE "D" MAY STAND FOR DOMINATION
The DNTs have held the top spot ever since Auction Draft Day, and it doesn't look as though they will falter any time soon. Currently, the DNTs have an astounding 90.5 points! Debbie Streckenbein's team is leading the CJRL in RBI's and Saves, is second in Home Runs, Stolen Bases, and ERA, and is in third place in WHIP.
Save for three weeks last July, the DNTs have ruled the top spot in the CJRL for almost two years! Several opposing CJRL owners had something to say about Streckenbein and her team. Larry Johnson of the Terminators, who was formerly partners with Debbie during the first two championship seasons for the DNTs, had this to say: "I taught her everything I know. You go with the two p's: power and pitching." Dave Wilson of the No-Names stated: "Debbie is lucky. An injury here, a slump there . . . I'm telling you this now--the No-Names will beat the DNTs by at least twenty points by the end of this season!".
"HEY ABBOTT!"--SUPER KINGS GET ABBOTT
In a three team sealed bid, the Super Kings outbid both the Ladykillers and the Razmataz for power hitting shortstop Kurt "Don't Call Me Bud" Abbott. The Kings bid $7.00, the Razmataz bid $6.00, and the Ladykillers came in as the low bid at $1.00.
In other aquisition news, the Razmataz claimed Hideo Nomo off of waivers from the Hub City Skels. The Ladykillers, Hayley's Heroes, and the Peacekeepers also put in waiver claims, but waiver claims go to the lowest claiming team in the standings. Nomo's salary remains $3.75 and he is in the last year of a two-year deal. It remains to be seen if the change of scenery to New York and to the Razmataz will help turn around Nomo's poor showing thus far this season.
From June 6, 1998
MORE FALL-OUT FROM PEACEKEEPER FIASCO
Peacekeeper fans have filed a class action lawsuit against Peacekeeper owner Mike Chodroff, charging negligence in last week's canned ham debacle. Chodroff's attorney, Jackie Chiles, gave the following statement to the press: "Who told him to give out the canned hams? I know I didn't tell him to give out the canned hams. Then why did he give out the canned hams? That is the question."
William Ginsburg, who formerly represented the infamous White House femme fatale Monica Lewinski, is representing the fans. Ginsburg stated: "If Mr. Chodroff doesn't want to come clean and take responsibility for this terrible tragedy, we will have to shake some skeletons loose from his closet. I don't know if you will be reading this or not, Mr. Chodroff, but do the "Christmas Yacks" mean anything to you?". When asked about these "Christmas Yacks", Ginsburg only said "It will all come out at the trial."
HEROES MAKE BID FOR TOP SPOT
The Hayley's Heroes have made a bold move in recent weeks, moving from 10th place to 3rd place as of June 6. Joanne Rogers' team has made pitching a priority, holding first or second place in three out of the four pitching categories. While her offense needs a boost, she holds first place in batting average. Their best finish to date was 4th in 1996.
The Heroes have gone through some changes in their nine years in the CJRL. Hayley's Heroes were first known as the Black Flags for the first CJRL season. Joanne Rogers was co-owner with current Knuckle Knockers owner Mike Giglio. After a last place finish and some disputes over the rights to the proceeds from Black Flags merchandise sales, Rogers and Giglio parted company. Rogers kept ownership of the team, renamed it the Checkered Flags, and finished 9th out of 11 teams.
The Checkered Flags became Hayley's Heroes in 1996 and promptly had their best season yet. With a pitching staff consisting of such solid players as Al Leiter, Mike Hampton, and Jeff Shaw, there may be no looking back this season.
SUPER KINGS BACK ONLINE
In a development that is sure to cause controversy, Art and Kathy Johnson, owners of the Super Kings, are back online. The Super Kings Baseball Club, Inc. traded in their old 386 PC for the super power of a 486-DX2 80mhz!
The Super Kings, once powerhouses in the CJRL and champions in 1996, have fallen from their usual top five spot to 12th place. Art Johnson blames this season's slow start on the lack of technology: "You have the Terminators and Skels using the Internet and high-speed modems. You have the Ladykillers super-charging their motherboard, and you have the No-Names with their America Online connections. I couldn't even access my email! I don't like to make predictions, but if you ask me for one, all I can predict is . . . PAIN for the rest of the league! I'm back!"
During this interview, a well-oiled team of technicians worked on the Super Kings' computer system. As one technician was configuring their Internet access, Super Kings co-owner Kathy Johnson berated him as he worked, saying "I don't care about the stupid computer! Go get me a pizza!"
Mrs. Johnson, in a Marge Schott-like tantrum, promptly had the technician fired for not getting enough green peppers on her pizza.
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