CJRL 1999 April Headlines
From May 24, 1999
CHEN DEBACLE ROCKS CJRL!
Bruce Chen thought that this week would be just like any other week. But little did he know that he would be the cause of family disputes, broken friendships, graft, corruption, gang wars, drug wars, civil wars, Make Love Not Wars, and also double-secret probation for three teams who mistakenly called for him as a result of an erroneous Internet report. To quote Chen himself: "I'm just happy to be back in the bigs. Now, who are you people and why are you bothering me?"
Many emails have been exchanged on how to handle this problem in the future. Be sure to give your input. Bob and Dave seem to have a very fair and easy to implement suggestion that will only slightly change the way things are done. Be sure to do things in good faith, and if in doubt, don't be afraid to ask someone how they interpret a rule.
SEARLE EXISTS AFTER ALL
After much speculation that Don Gasparro's partner Dave Searle was actually one of Don's multiple personalities, the real Dave Searle appeared at this years Auction Draft. CJRL officials had been investigating Gasparro in connection to Dave's alleged disappearance, and seemed to have been making a strong case for the grand jury. When asked why Dave had been away from the Razmataz ballclub for so long, Gasparro stated "He's been working in the back office." In Don's presence, Dave stated "Yes. That's right. The back office. That is where I have been. The back office."
During a break at the draft Dave pulled this reporter aside and stated "Help me please! He makes me research baseball night and day. Get me out of here." Bowie Kuhn, CJRL Assistant District Attorney for Baseball, stated "There may be more going on here than meets the eye. Can I have that danish?"
UPDATES AND UPGRADES AT "LEAGUE BUSINESS"!
The FAAB Updated Budgets and the Sealed Bid Results have been updated as of July 7th. These sites are very useful in deciding on your FAAB bids.
New this season is the Transaction site. We are trying to keep this up to date so there is a source to see all moves. This is very helpful when watching the waiver wire. Remember that there is a seven-day waiver period for picking up players that another CJRL team has waived, with the player going to the lowest ranked team as of the last day of the waiver period. It will also be useful to calculate your transaction fees for the first half and second half of the season. Remember that transactions cost $2.50 each before the All Star Game, and $5.00 after.
STAT SITE FASTER THAN EVER
Northshore has a new primary site. The old www.nssoftware.com is now the backup site. The new site is listed on our League Business page. You must type it in the Internet address spot of your web browser with the league ID number at the end. The site has been much faster and has been updated earlier, usually by 11:30 a.m. on weekdays, and a little later on weekends.
The http://nss.netmonger.net/##### site is updated by 11:15 on weekdays, and includes Shoreline moves by 8 am that day, and fax/e-mail moves by 5 pm the previous day. It is then re-updated by 12 pm to include late fax/e-mail transactions. On Monday, Monday night leagues are updated again at 6 pm. The weekend updates wrap up around 12:30. www.nssoftware.com is to be used
only for backup, in case netmonger is down.
Sorry the site hadn't been updated more recently. I had been finishing my master's degree course work and now I am finally done. To quote one of my mentors during the tough papers and exams:
"Duff Gardens hurrah!!!!" -- Homer Simpson
From April 8, 1999
CHAT ROOM DEBUT A SUCCESS FOR CJRL
Friday, April 2 was an eventful occasion for the CJRL. The first annual Rules Chat was held in the new SportsOnly CJRL Chat Room. It was a big success! All the baseball greats were there: Stengel, LaRussa, Torre, Streckenbein, and even guest appearances by former CJRL and Super King great Chico Walker and Beverly Hills 90210's Luke Perry.
In attendance for the chat were Bob Taylor (Ladykillers), Joanne Rogers (Hayley's Heroes), Jim Lyons (Devil Dogs), Debbie Streckenbein (DNTs), Mike Chodroff (Peacekeepers), Don Gasparro (Razmataz), Dave Wilson (No-Names), and Larry Johnson (Terminators). Rule proposals were discussed, as well as which stat company to use. New rule proposals for the future were discussed, and there was much cross-talk, much to the dismay of Chico Walker.
O'REILLY BROTHERS GUARANTEE VICTORY IN CJRL!
In a remark reminiscent of Nikita Kruschev's "We will bury you!" remark to the United States over thirty years ago, Spiders co-owners Tim and Bill O'Reilly stated to the press that "We will win the league--guaranteed!" When pressed for further comment, Tim O'Reilly stated "I think that statement speaks for itself."
CJRL owners were not very pleased or impressed with the brash prediction. Ladykillers owner Bob Taylor replied "I don't know where those O'Reilly's get off with their Joe Willie Namath impressions, but let me tell you this: It ain't gonna be easy." Terminators owner Larry Johnson, when asked if he had any of his own predictions, stated "Predictions? PAIN!"
In response to all of the negative press this guarantee statement has caused, Spider co-owner Bill O'Reilly has been attempting damage control. On Monday, he announced that the Spiders were giving away free Spiders caps to anyone insulted by the remark. However, calls to the Spiders special offer number, 1-800-SPIDERSFREECAPSTOANYONEINSULTED, found that the number was not in working order. CJRL officials are investigating.
AUCTION DRAFT TIME CHANGE AND LOCATION
AUCTION DRAFT DAY will be held on Saturday, April 17 at 4:30 p.m. This is a time change from the original 3:00 p.m. start time. It was changed due to several teams having difficulty with that earlier start time. The location will be at Joe Schott's house in Jackson. Directions will be emailed to all teams. Any teams wishing to can follow Larry Johnson, Art Johnson, or Bob Taylor from Art and Kathy Johnson's house. Be sure to bring all of your league fee ($65), your stat fee (approx. $36), and any signing bonus fees you need to pay. Signing bonus information will be emailed out soon. Call Joe to find out what food he would like you to bring to the draft.
The first 1/2 hour to hour will be used to discuss and vote upon the possible rule changes which were previously emailed and also discussed during our Rules Chat on Friday, April 2. Please think through your ideas about these rules beforehand so as to keep the agenda moving. If you would like to review the proposals, you can find them in the March 1999 section of our Past Headlines section. You can also read the text from the Rules Chat from our League Business section.
PROTECTED ROSTERS AVAILABLE ONLINE
The protected rosters from our April 3 Roster Protection are all updated and available from our Rosters section. The contract status has been updated, as has any salary increase due to a long-term contract.
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