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Number 1 - Egil Olsen
The Wombles new boss hasn't had the best start to his career with Wimbledon,
but, as we found out, thats all about to change.......

Unofficial NUFC Website - So, How are you settling in with the Dons?

Egil Olsen - Yuh, very well thank-you. I am slowly learning my English and I thinkt he fans are really taking to the trigenometry which is involved in my tactical strategy. All the players are performing they're strategic duties perfectly and I think we are one of the best teams in the Premiership.

UNUFCW - You say this even though you are 15th in the Prem.

Egil - Yes, we are 15th in the Premiership, but that doesn't say much about the qualityof the side does it? The zonal tactics my players have implemented are far superior to the likes of Manchester United, Arsenal and Chelsea. My players all have their own tactical triangle which they use to perfection.

UNUFCW - Explain.

Egil - Well, when a teammate crosses the hypotenuse of a players tactical triangle, that is when the ball is to be passed. If a player crosses the adjacent or opposite sides of the right angle, then their tactical triangle then changes to a tactical rhombus and we play from there.

UNUFCW - Go on.

Egil - OK. When the triangle is changed to a rhombus the surrounding players triangles immediatley change to dodecahedrons and they have to swap positions with their room mate and the remaining players are substituted. It's quite simple really.

UNUFCW - I see. So, how do the less intelligent players, take John Hartson for example, cope with this strategy?

Egil - Well, as a matter of fact, John is struggling quite a bit with my superiorly intelligent system. Just between you and me, I am considering purchasing my fellow countryman Tore Andre Flo in a swap deal for John Hartson. Norwegians are very intelligent you see, and I believe Tore would be the strategiacally correct player for the pinnacle of our tactical dodecahedron.

UNUFCW - What do you think Gianluca Vialli will make of that?

Egil - I think he will jump at the chance to have a player of Johns quality at the club while offloading one of his less used players.

UNUFCW - I'm sure a lot of people whould agree with me when I say Tore Andre Flo is a better player than John Hartson.

Egil - Thats rubbish, you're a German aren't you?

UNUFCW - Excuse me?

And with that, Mr. Olsen stormed out the room, cursing under his breath something about us being a "gangster" and a "German".

Coming up in the next few weeks:
David Beckham
Michael Owen
Ruud Gullit