Before I get into this column, everybody shut the hell up for a moment of silence on the passing of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Sure, Sir Alec may have hated the role that made him who he was and hated all the fans that loved him, but the old coot is dead, so pay your respects.
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Okay, enough of that crap. You know, in all the times I've done this column, I've had requests for certain individuals to be the topic. Hell, one guy even begged me to go after him on the message board. Go read it, its still there. I'll wait. But NEVER have I had so many requests for this one cat. Druid be his name. I mean, Ghoulspoon wasn't nothing to what this guy apparently is. So here it is. Druid...I'm about to make you famous.
Accidents happen. Its all a part of life. Air traffic controllers get their signals crossed and cause hundreds of deaths, a rodeo cowboy is gored by a bull, that prick Goldberg damn near kills Bret Hart with a poorly judged kick to the head. All accidents. These things happen. But you don't have to make a huge deal about it. You screw up, you make amends for it, you move on.
Such is not the case with Mr. Pagan Celt. Or as he LOVES to call himself, the 'IAWA hardcore legend'. Hardcore legend my ASS! Let me run down his hardore resume. Don't worry, its not very long. He's involved in a fire match. This match pertains of a bucket on fire sitting off to the side while the rest of the guys wrestle around it. Okay, that's all well and good. Then somehow this lighted bucket gets hurled through the air and smacks Drooly in the noggin'. Thus causing him to bleed. After that he becomes a 'hardcore legend'. He accidently gets hit in the head with a bucket and THAT gets him that status? IAWA is in worse shape than even I thought. And that's pretty bad. And what's this I hear about Druid having a plaque made to show the world just how hardcore he is? What the hell is that? That's worse than Madden calling himself the best looking big man on television. Verbal masturbation, thy name is Druid. Son, let me tell you something. You are neither a legend nor hardcore. And the only way you win is by refusing to job and weaseling your way into every stable in IAWA. Why don't you take that plaque and....well you WWF zombie marks know the rest.
Read Hyatte on 411wrestling.com and go read a book, you freaks.
This is the Maske`d Marauder
