Thunder Results for 7/5
Hosted by Mike Tenay, Tony Schivone and Bobby Heenan
Credit: Steveweiser
Welcome to that wrestling extravaganza that is Thunder, on the Superstation TBS. Going into the pay-per-view this Sunday, we have a World Title contender who no-showed Nitro, a U.S. Champion who is getting suspended for throwing tantrums, a whiney super-heel(or is he still a face?), and
Kevin Nash. The picture is pretty bleak for the buyrate on this one, so WCW has to step up its game tonight.
We start with a montage of Jeff and the fat ladies, Mike Awesome putting people through tables, Vampiro's antics with the Demon, Goldberg and Nash tearing into each other, and that delightful rumble from Nitro (ahem).
The camera cuts to Jeff, he says he can get ratings for the Cat if he's allowed to retire Hogan tonight. Cat tells him no, but then relents, allowing him to be on the show. Like Hogan will ever retire, silly Jeff Jarret...
Thunder is LIVE from Columbus, Georgia, and your hosts are Tony Schivanne, Mike Tenay, and The Brain. Jeff Jarret comes out immediately with his belt and the equalizer, the cardboard guitar. He makes his way to the ring, and it looks like we'll start the night with a standard heel rant. Jeff is the Chosen One as usual, who "el cabonged"(huh?) Standards and Practices. Columbus will now bask in the glory of the Chosen One as he invites Terry Bolea to the ring to be retired.
The Cat's music hits and out comes the commish - he informs Jarret that he can't run his mouth, and says Jarret will earn his meal ticket tonight, because the Cat is the only one to book this show, which gets a reaction from the crowd. The Cat then informs us he will marvel the crowd with a karate demonstration. The Cat will book a match between Chris Kanyon/The Franchise and Booker T./Buff Bagwell(wasn't that supposed to be on Nitro?) Whoever gets the fall will go to the main event, against Jeff Jarret! The Cat says someone else might bring Jeff's belt to the beach, and we've got some serious dissention in the ranks of the New Blood, if that faction exists anymore.The Brain has a rather colorful shirt as Tony lists the shows that will be on tonight. Mike informs us that The Demon is back (yay...) and will face thee Hardcore Champ. Johnny the Bull is indeed out with internal injuries according to Tony, and Kevin Nash and Bill Goldberg have been told not to show up for tonight(hopefully they will listen).
In a tanning salon, The Perfect Event talk about looking good on Thunder earlier that day(never mind why there's a camera in there) Chuck Palumbo sings "you are my only sunshine" and gets in a tanning booth. Woody, a production assistant who Palumbo's been torturing lately, locks him inside, and it looks like Chuck Palumbo is going to be extra crispy by the time we get back from commercial.We come back with Jarret knocking a table over, as Kanyon comes up and "Kanyon-cuts" some guy.
Match #1 - Disco Inferno vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Lance Storm vs. Billy Kidman:
Rey and Disco take advantage of Lance with double-team tactics until Billy gets to the ring. Kidman gets a hurricanrana on Storm, and reverses a press slam for a roll-up, which we get a flurry of in some rare technical moments on WCW televising. Disco and Rey with some double-teaming on Storm, and Rey drops a leg on Storm's "lower area." Rey goes for the Bronco buster, and gets a foot in the "lower area" for payback. Rey rolls up Disco, and an argument starts as Rey DDT's Disco. Lance tags in and crossbody's Disco as Rey comes in again. Rey hits a top-rope legdrop as Stormdangles betwen the ropes. Billy Kidman powerbombs Rey out of a hurricanrana miss. Lance gets in the ring with Disco, applies the rolling ankle-lock and gets the submission victory.
Winner(4'07) - Lance Storm
Interview with Buff and Booker T.(let us never mention that "other name"). Buff wishes good luck to Booker after shamelessly promoting himself. Booker then comments on Kanyon, quoting from his new book("Kanyon sucks", "Kanyon craps in his pants like a baby," some eloquent stuff here), as we go to commercial.
Back from commercial, and the camera cuts to Stasiak and Palumbo at the tanning salon, who look pretty well-done. Footage of the Three Count/Jung Dragons match, as Tank punches out Yang(sp?), and the Cat presents a proposition to the Jung ones.
The Cat comes out in his cheetah garb, and it looks like we're about to have his "karate exhibition." Cat says he'll take his aggressions out on the audience in an attempt for cheap heat as the Dragons come out.
Match 2 - The Cat vs. The Jung Dragons:
Taz takes the Cat down with a spin kick, we have some triple-teaming going on. A missed clothesline from Yang and Cat goes to the outside to complain on the mic. The Cat makes them bow, and gets some heelish cheap shots in. Yang goes fro kidney punches as the masked one hits a dropkick from the toprope. Kaz get grabbed with the "groin claw" as coined by Mike Tenay, as the Cat takes Yang's head off with a standing sidekick. The match is apparently over as the Cat asks the audience to give them a hand.
No Winner Apparently(2'11)
Camera cuts to The Perfect Event angrilly requesting Woody's prescence in the ring later in the night. He seems pretty laid back about it, as Stasiak and Palumbo talk some trash. Do these guys actually have a gimmick? Or is it just being goofy?
After another commercial, that horrible road-report commercial comes on, and Nitro will be live from Jacksonville, Florida coming up. The Cat is complimenting the Jung Dragons and gives them plenty of money. The footage of Asya getting knocked off the stage is shown as Big Vito comes up to the casket of the demon and beats it with a stick, until the Demon comes up behind him.
Match # 3 - The Demon vs. Big Vito(c) (Hardcore Championship)
The two battle through the backstage area, with the normal garage door spot. Big Vito hits Demon with a trashlid, and takes him to the ring area. Big Vito places a trash lid on the groin area of the Demon and kicks him (OUCH). Plywood is placed on the third rope, as Tony's voice cracks(hehe). The Demon sends Big Vito's head through the plywood, and we have a weak "table" chant going in the crowd. Demon goes to the second rope for a softcore elbow, and gets a nearfall. Vampiro comes out to some boos. The Demon dropkicks a chair into Big Vito and Vampiro enters with a shovel, nailing Demon with it and knocking him out cold. Big Vito looks on and eventually decides to cover.
Winner(4'40) - Big Vito
Vamp has the mic, and we'll be treated to his masterful verbal skills once again. He says tonight he let him live, but Sunday, it's done(in their pre-taped graveyard match). Camera cuts to Mike Awesome telling Mean Gene that Rick can't beat him if he's already 2-0 vs. Scott Steiner. Doctored footage is shown as Mike "counts out" Scott Steiner. Funny stuff, but Gene calls Mike a "freaky mullet," I think...what? Another commercial...
Back to action, Kanyon and The Franchise discuss how they will end their match, with either the Kanyon Cutter or Pittsburgh Plunge, and seem to be arguing.
The Perfect Event arrives as footage of their epic struggles with Woody the production guy are shown. They are quite upset about their toasted condition and take the mic. Shawn cuts a terrible, yet thankfully short promo as the redneck Woody arrives to some backwoods music, and his appearance is funnier than his entrance without hit shirt on. He calls out his team, and its that silly pothead Brian Adams without Clarke.
Match #4 - Woody/Brian Adams vs. The Perfect Event
Adams takes both members of the Perfect Event to school, and hits Stasiak with a big boot. He goes for a chokeslam but Palumbo makes the save, and that villainous double-teaming has started. They attempt to double-suplex, but Woody slaps them on the back, which is apparently enough to break it up. The Perfect Event continues to sell as Adams performs an incredible full nelson slam on Palumbo. A CHANT FOR WOODY! WOODY AND ADAMS PERFORM THE HIGH TIMES! WOODY MAKES THE NON-CHALANT COVER!? God, that's humiliating...
Winner - Brian Adams/Woody
In the back, Terry Funk gets attacked by Big Vito with a pipe, perhaps this will set up the new Hardcore Match since Johnny is out...and another commercial comes upon us...
A Goldberg/Nash promo comes up as Big Vito leaves the building. Footage of Kanyon nailing Bagwell and Booker hitting a terrible Rock Bottom on The Franchise. And we have gotten to our 4-Corners match.
Match # 5 - Franchise/Kanyon vs. Buff Bagwell/Booker
Man, Kanyon needs a new gimmick desperately. Brain predicts Franchise as the winner, I'd like to believe him, if only WCW would listen to him...double-teaming on Kanyon starts it off, and a nice double-suplex from Booker and Bagwell. Booker nails Kanyon with the Harlem Sidekick and then the Axe-kick. Franchise won't get on the apron to tag as Buff nails a crossbody on Kanyon after tagging in. Buff with a DDT as he struts his stuff pompously. Kanyon hits a russian legsweep as Buff turns his back, and Franchise AGAIN refuses to tag in. Buff with a quick roll-up, Kanyon's out, and nails a swinging neckbreaker. Kanyon won't make the tag as Franchise finally requests it when they have the advantage. Buff with a second-rope splash and then sets up for a PERFECT Blockbuster, but Franchise makes the save, as Booker tags in. Booker T redeems his earlier Rock Bottom by performing a well-sold "Book-End"(as long as his name is Booker, I don't care what the move's called.)
Winner and Jarret's Challenger for Later that Evening - Booker T.
Camera shifts to Misfits huddled together as they discuss their mixed-tag action later on in the evening. A promo for Hogan and Jarret is shown. You know, Jeff's been doing a great job flying solo for the past few weeks, but you think Hogan could show at LEAST one television event before the pay-per-view. After another commericial...
...we come back to Crowbar's arrival to the arena in some
considerable pain with Daphney tailing behind him. Mike Awesome goes into Rick Steiner's locker room and retrieves his sunglasses and does...um, something to them...the misfits come out and we've got action...
Match # 6 - Major Guns/ Chavo vs. Juvi/Tygress
Ugh, this should be interesting. Some quick paced action from Chavo and Juvi as Chavo nails a tilt-o-whirl backbreaker. Juvi misses a spash, atomic drop, and Juvi gets slapped by Major Gunns. Tygress gets tagged in and Chavo goes to tag in Major Gunns. And the male viewing audience just increased 10-fold, although Juvi tags back in quickly.. Juvi catches a low blow, but Gunns gets him the second time as Tygress tags. Cat fight breaks out, but is quickly broken up by the guys, and they're back at it again. Gunns slams Tygress, and Juvi tries a Driver on Gunns, but Juvi gets nailed with a inverted reverse ddt/driver(hehe, don't quite know the name of that move). After some distractions, Juvi hits Chavo with the belt and pins him.
Winner(3'10) - Juvi/Tygress
Apparently, whatever Awesome put in Rick Steiner's glasses blinds him as he > screams for a trainer. Oh no, Awesome is one evil guy, look out everybody...commercial and...
...We come back to Daytona Motorsports, and receive some updates on that fascinating sport. Backstage, Mean Gene talks to Booker T. about his title shot...wait, I just realized Booker T. is getting a title shot! I hope Vince Russo never comes back! Promo with Vampiro talking about Sting and "smelling his flesh burning," strange to run this if his match this Sunday is with the Demon, HMMMMMM...Tony discusses the "dark spectre" who is following Vampiro, and informs us that Rick Steiner is undergoing medical attention for his eyes.
Mike Tenay then gives us his in-depth interview with Hacksaw Jim Duggan and his wife. Tenay asks for an update after the Goldberg incident. Emotionally, Jim says he's thinking about all he has to lose, and says he has a lot of bridges to cross. Jim says he's never been afraid, and that a man's got to do what a man's got to do, and that he won't back away. He states that he loves this sport and that WCW is an extension of modern society. This is actually a pretty heartfelt interview, as he says he'll never let down the fans of WCW by walking away. ANOTHER commericial...
We're back with Crowbar looking for David Flair and he's pretty ticked up. He catches Davie with Ms. Hancock and Crowbar beats the stuffing out of him as Hancock runs out with a pipe. Camera cuts to Jarret calling Mean Gene Jurassic Slapnuts and saying Booker's not even a contender. He says he's concentrating on retiring Hogan this Sunday. Another shot of Danny Young, the trainer, looking at Rick's eyes. Footage of Daphney and David on Monday Nitro and the framing job with the hair clippers. Crowbar beats David to the ring and we apparently have a match...
Match # 7 - Crowbar vs. David Flair
Crowbar beats on Flair, goes to the top rope, but gets knocked off as David (surprisingly) performs a superplex. He attempts the figure four and applies it, as Crowbar fights it. Ms Hancock provides leverage with the iron pipe and the ref catches them. A roll-up from Crowbar on David, the ref pushes David, another roll-up, Ms. Hancock comes in with a crowbar, the ref stops her, but David low-blows Crowbar. Daphney comes in(with a lovely red wig I may add) and goes after Hancock with clippers, as Ms. Hancock gets away. Crowbar nails David with the crowbar(ironic, eh?) and hits the "Mindbender"(stall suplex/front face driver).
Winner(3'05) - Crowbar
Crowbar makes David tell the world that he cheated on Daphney and that Hancock shaved her Daphney's head(huh?). Daphne goes to the back and Crowbar follows like a confused pup as we go to commercial.
Back, and the trainer is feeling Hancock's leg for some reason. David gets upset, and decides to shave Mr. Young's head. Brain thinks this is pretty funny, and I have to agree. Footage of Mike Awesome "counting out" Steiner as we have our next match...
Match # 7 - Mike Awesome vs. Rick Steiner
Mike Tenay's selling Rick's eye injury for him as we get started. Awesome clotheslines Steiner in the corner and hits a big splash on the mat. Steiner catches Awesome running and takes him over suplex-style. Belly to belly suplex from Steiner, and they go to the outside. Awesome gets out a table and throws it into the ring as someone attempts another table chant, but this is WCW and noone knows what he's doing. Steiner sends Awesome into the table headlong and brings out a chair which the ref takes away as Mike sprays something in Steiner's eyes and pins him. What the hey....
Winner(2'25) - Mike Awesome
Jarret is coming to the ring, and so is Booker T., and we're about to have our World Title Match(after a commercial, or course)
Back from commercial, footage of Booker T. taking his "leadership position" in WCW is shown, and hopefully have an actual wrestling match here.
Match # 8 - Booker T. vs. Jeff Jarret(c) (WCW Championship)
Booker and Jeff start off and Booker nails a shoulder block, and then a heel-kick, as Jeff gets knocked to the outside. Double axe handle off the apron and Jeff gets thrown into the safety rail. Back in the ring, Jarret applies a sleep hold, it's reversed into Booker's sleeper hold, and Jarret hits a knee-breaker. Jarret applies the Figure-Four quite early in the match and Booker struggles to reverse the move Vince Russo lasted five minutes in. Booker gets to the ropes after failing to reverse it, and Jarret concentrates his attack on the leg. Booker hits a desperation clothesline and gets to his feet along with Jarret. Booker hits some punches, reverses a whip, and nails an axe kick. After break-dancing up, he nails a spine-buster, and gets a near fall. Booker misses a kick goes, outside, and gets nailed with a Kanyon-cutter as Kanyon comes out of nowhere. Into the ring, 1-2-3. Wait, wait, the Cat comes out! The cat says there's no interfering and for Kanyon to get out, we're restarting the match! Jarret comes out to complain, and Booker gets him back in the ring, roll-up, Jarrent kicks out. Booker reverses a sunset flip for a near-fall, and nails a powerslam. He goes to the top-rope and nails a missile-dropkick, but Jarret gets his foot on the rope. Booker ducks a clothesline as Jarret nails the ref. Booker nails the Book End but the ref is out, as the Cat removes the ref's shirt? Booker hits a sidekick on Jarret, the Cat counts, but Jeff kicks out. Jarret hits an uppercup and sends Booker to the outside, then wipes the Cat out with a guitar. Jarret leaves the arena as he gets disqualified, despite the fact that there are no disqualifications in the new WCW.
Winner(7'35) - Booker T. by DQ
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