BScribe of Run #81 - July 26 - Osaka-ko
Hares: Triathlon Bob and GFL. Runners: 4.
Does it ever NOT rain here?
How unlucky we are! The day happened to be rainy. This was 4th time for KFMH3 to run around Osaka-ko and 3rd time (including today) to have rain.
The rain, which had started when I left my aquarium, was getting harder and harder. And there were only hare (GFL), co-hare (BOB), and 2 runners (Andy & Wanda). After 10 or more minutes, a terribly hungover guy came with sake-breath. WHO? It was Slimie Limie.
It seemed no more people would come, so we started to prepare for running. When we were about to start, another unexpected guy, Homophone turned up. Anyway, we started. Oh, I forgot to say that GFL decided to run with us as a sweeper. We managed to find a couple of arrows and flour, but after that it was difficult to see any more. We could not have finished the whole trail without a sweeper. While running I taught Andy Osaka- dialect, a word of 'GOTTUI' (it means VERY).
On our way, we run passed some familiar places -- it looked like GHL had recycled some parts of the trail from his previous run.
When we had a run around here in January in the pouring rain, the run was loooooooong and tough. But today's run was very comfortable and fun.
GFL drop-tested and broke KFMH3's official Down-Down mug. (Down-Down!) So, we made a temporary Sacred Vessel from an Aquarius bottle. Down-Downs were given to all. We then moved to an ON-IN place we happened to find nearby, although we had planned to go to another Izakaya. At the Izakaya, we enjoyed the usual.
Scribed by: Wanda. (Sake-) Breathed over by: Slimie Limie.
Scribe of Run #82 - August 9 - Kawanishi-Noseguchi
Hare: Phuckwit. Runners: 6. New Boots: 1.
A Kawanishi 'Quicky'
Being a three-time Phuckwit run vet I decided to pack the advisable extras: combat boots, rappelling ropes, machete, high-altitude oxygen tanks, first-aid kit (extra-large), distress flares, MREs, scuba gear, passport (in case he got carried away and ran us into China)...
Arrived for the start at 3pm and the hare got back fresh from trail-laying 10 minutes later. "Only took an hour quarter to lay," says he, "you should run it in less than an hour, sorry it's a bit short". Hmmn. Please allow me a short explanatory digression here. No doubt you have at least heard of Einstein's Laws of Relativity, even if you haven't a clue about things like bending of the space-time continuum; let me introduce you to a new but similar laws-of-nature-defying phenomenon: Phuckwit run-time estimation. As survivors of the infamous KH3 Dojo run will testify, one Phuckwit-minute (from now on a unit designated Pw-m) of running is roughly equivalent to a normal hasher's three minute shamble towards beer. (Note this does not take into consideration time-outs to take people to hospital, or search-party duties.) So a 1 hour 15 minute lay should take... 3.75 hours for the pack!
Next to arrive was Wanda, followed by Andy and his holidaying brother, Matt, and a 'hisashiburi' Penisonic. About to On-On when a severely hung-over Snake Seaman staggered up, having run from home. Apparently he'd hosted a party the night before and almost managed to match all guests drink for drink. Is that what I've looked like at the beginning of the last two runs?
Finally started at 3:40. The trail followed the Hankyu line towards Ikeda until the first check routed us inevitably up towards the hills. Off the streets and into shiggy, my favourite environment! Soon after, we find a simple two-way check. Andy and Matt go right, I try left and meet Penisonic coming back down trail having not yet found On-On. "Try further", says I, "this hare likes looong CBs!". Sure enough a sharp right followed by a steep climb ran us out of flour. By now the rest of the pack had caught up having found nothing to the right. Deciding the sharp right had been suspiciously conspicuously marked, Wanda checked left and found flour leading right - but to a CB! Forgetting right and trying straight, I found a narrow left that descended steeply on mud next to an old fence. The rusting barbed wire had recently been supplemented by white string, but some of the posts were so rotten the string seemed to be serving the purpose of holding the posts up. Climbed over several fallen trees (simultaneously taking out two posts...) to get to the bottom to find - CB! This is a classic Phuckwit 'screw with their minds' check. Is there a sort of compliment here in that he thinks we still possess such accessories? Drank mine away years ago... Back to the junction in the trail and tried straight. Down a little then up up up, on dry, loose earth and stones that I discovered were sharp enough to cut if fallen on correctly. But what's a Phuckwit run without a little blood and pain? (Ask Flash if you think you can run fast enough.) Got to the top to find a stunning view of the valley. Still no 'On-On' but the Moon-Check confirmed we were on-trail. Showed our arses to an expressway in the distance - didn't hear of any squealing of tyres so I guess drivers had more interesting things to peer at. Must've been something good on TV at that moment. Started to descend fairly rapidly and a snaky footpath led to a hairpin bend on a busy byroad. No trail to be seen. Tried straight - nothing. Must be back to the top! A quarter way up met Seaman on the way down. He must have been hurting - this is the only time I've ever met him so far back in the pack. At the top we found nothing so headed back down to recheck. Met Snake almost back at the top. Got to the bottom and again found nothing. Perhaps we missed something half way? Met Snake again and he accused us of trying to kill him. Not true! - he still looked dead enough already. Once more at the bottom, Andy or Matt spotted a faded arrow heading straight. My only excuse (apart from the fact it was on the left) is that on my previous visits here there had been several cars piling round the bend not much concerned if they passed over me or the arrow. (Given the choice I'd select arrow every time, but there are those who'd prefer the alternative...) From here it was pretty much On-Home, although a ziggy-zaggy route kept us on our toes. Back in 1 hour 15 minutes after an excellent run. Nice shiggy, superb views, entertaining checks and just the right length. NOT TOO SHORT!!!
Since the original sacred vessel had been drop-tested to destruction by GFL last run, a new vessel was inaugurated by ranking orificer Wanda. It's a slightly difficult beast to drink out of (no, the vessel - pay attention will you?), so there should be more than a few soppy T-shirts to make us smell nice at future On-Ins. All hounds drank for one reason or another; Wanda, already mentioned. Phuckwit for Hare, Penisonic for neglecting us so long, Phuckwit for marking only one 'ON-ON' the entire run, Matt for new boot, Phuckwit for marking on the left, in the middle, or wherever he damn well liked, Andy for bringing his brother while on holiday (lame, getting desperate) Phuckwit for... can't remember, Snake Seaman for medicinal reasons and me for missing faded arrows and thereby trying to kill a half-dead Snake.
On-In was at the oft-visited Kushi-Katsu place. We ate deep-fried this'n' that and drank beer 'til it was time to float On-Home.
Scratched by: Slimie Limie.
Scribe of Run #83 - August 23 - Takatsuki
Hare: Slimie Limie. Runners: 4. New Boots: 1.
Takatsuki Intransient Trek
When I arrived, I saw the hare, Slimie, standing there, covered with sweat and flour. Believe it or not, in order to set the trail, he scampered around Takatsuki a few days for preliminary examination, and in addition, it took about 7 hours in total for him to set the whole trail from yesterday to today. I assumed that today's trail would be long and tough. Also I started to worry about who could come today? Maybe only me??? At around 3:20pm, a salvation hound turned up. Who? It was Triathlon Bob. 10 minutes later, another salvation hound, Peenasonic, arrived. After waiting a further 10 minutes, we started. At first we ran through the underpass of JR and came to the other side of the station and continued to run along the JR line towards Osaka. It wasn't so long (very short!) before we came to the first check. I found On-On in my direction, so I went back to call the others. We were running in very narrow streets, and made a left turn, another left turn and one more time turned left. This means we enjoyed a square-loop and went back to the original road. ;_; It was a very hot day, I felt like a steak on a BBQ, so I didn't notice I was enjoying a loop until I got back on-trail! This kind of loop is Slimie's special art!
What was next? We crossed route 171 and turned right soon. The trail led us to the riverside. Before, there was no bridge here, but this time we were welcomed by a newly- built bridge. We didn't have to enter the river for crossing. Banzai!! However, I discovered a fancy message from the hare, beyond my expectation. "Wanda, go into river, others can use this bridge!" or something like that. (I thought fish liked swimming... S.L.) Of course, I ignored, although I don't like to ignore his efforts! The Moon-Check was in the middle of the bridge. So, we waited for a train and Mooned the passengers.
After that we ran along the river for a while, and then went into a grassy place. Triathlon Bob didn't bother to enter the grassy place, but ran alongside it. This was a clever choice, as some of the grasses were sharp and Peenasonic and I got some cuts on our legs. Here we met Catherine, who had read our advertisement in KTO and previously come to a KH3 run. Today she had started late but managed to catch up. The 3rd check was waiting for us. Bob checked one side and Peenasonic checked the other. I and Catherine waited, as we were busy chatting. Triathlon Bob came back quite soon. He couldn't find anything after 2 marks. But, Peenasonic didn't come back for a while. So, Catherine and I tried to follow him. We found many many many clear arrows after the check, but couldn't find On-On. It seemed it was On-On but Slimie forgot to put 'On-On'. So, we decided to go back and call Triathlon Bob. Soon after we got back to the check, Peenasonic also came back to call us. He had gone farther than us, and of course, he couldn't find the On-On either. Down-Down to the hare for not writing On-On! (I did so too. It was carefully put under a car so it wouldn't wash away if it rained... S.L.) After another bridge-crossing, we ran Zig-Zag through an old & historical residential area of Takatsuki, and went into a big, beautiful park. On our way, we all bought something to drink at vending machines, as we were very thirsty. By then we had run enough, everybody thought. But, still the trail tried to lead us to various parts of Takatsuki. At the last check, Peenasonic tried to check left. I and Catherine were waiting. When Bob caught up with us, he insisted to go to the left-side, as the station is towards that way. We had to run more, about 10 minutes, and finally came back to On-Home! To my surprise, we were running for about 1.75 hours. 'Is this a mere 7km or 8km?????' I asked. 'I mis-calculated. More than 8km. Almost 12km!' Slimie answered.
At the Circle, I forget the reasons, but all had to have a down-down as usual. After that, we went to a Beer-Garden, and chatted a lot. Small, but nice On-In.
Scribed by: Wanda. Checking & smart-arsed comments by: Slimie Limie.
Scribe of Run #87 - October 18 - Nara
Hare: Shika Sheep Substitute. Runners: 10. New Boots: 4. Visitors: 1. (From Samurai H3.)
Andy's Birthday Run
Luckily the typhoon No. 10 had gone to north the previous night for the sake of Andy who had been excited being a virgin hare for us. He said he had wandered over the lovely countryside in Nara for 3 months for setting a course.
There were Andy, another Andy aka Minor Dick from Samurai Hash (originally from Pennsylvania), Slimie Limie, Wanda, Silver Grey, CM, and me. In addition, Manabe-san who is Wanda's friend and had joined Rokkosan Run last month of Wednesday Hash, was with 3 young students. They are the members of bicycle club of Kandai University. As Futatabi had just told me the previous day that she was a member of bicycle club at the university, so I said to them, "We have a Harriet here who used be a member of bicycle club." And they asked me who it was and I replied to them, "Masako Nishimoto (=Futatabi)". Amazingly, they said, "We know her!!!" It was a real surprise she is still famous among the bicycle club members even it has been for ages since she left the university. Futatabi, you should have come to get big Down2!
Thanks to Andy, I didn't expect any muddy and silly course that day so I was wearing my new white T-shirt of West London Hash. Anyway, the run was called "JTB Sightseeing Run" which led us to beautiful spots such as Kasuga Taisha, Todaiji, Wakakusa Yama etc. Also there were some nice small cafes off the main streets.
We had mooning in front of the modern photograph museum and it surprised guardsmen and local obasan.
After mooning, I was too tired to run somehow. But I enjoyed walking in the woods and it remained me Richmond Park in England where I used to live near by. Maybe that's because I saw wild deer and I felt very fresh air. Nothing but peaceful.
Nara also reminds me my English friend. She visited Nara with her husband and they really loved there. They named their baby girl Nara. Sweet, isn't it? Suppose you live or like Juso, Nishinakajima Minamikata, Shinkaichi (Fukuhara?) or whatever, would you name for your kids?
After all, we had Down2 in front of the station. To begin with, for Andy who will be 25 (still!) week after next. New comers of course, and small Down2 for Manabe-san who had broken his shoulder recently and hospitalized for 40 days. He escaped from the hospital for Andy's run (?) for a while and had to back there that night. Also, for Silver Grey who had injured his right leg. Down2 one after another but Slimie Limie. Sorry, Slimie, we were all thinking of any inflections, but nothing came up in our mind.
I regret to say there is one rule has been changed. New comers will be asked to contribute 500-yen for the run due to deficit finance of KFMH3.
On-In was at the German Beer Restaurant called "Rosen Polka". We had lots of beer and jolly time. It's the time Andy got his Hash name. Slimie named him "Shika Sheep Substitute" and we cerebrated his birthday again. Wanda and I gave our big kisses on his new Theresa's T-shirt. We did the same thing before for Newt when he left Japan. Hope our passionate kiss marks still stay on his T-shirt.
Well, there was someone who was jealous of Andy. He said, "My birthday was yesterday................" Oh, come on, CM! You know that a silent man cannot survive in Hash, don't you?! We gave him a Mr Donut's Down2 (a small donut was floating on his beer...Yuuuuck!) and Slimie gave his biiiiiiiig kiss mark on his Polo shirt. Happy birthday to CM!
Scribed by: Hand Job.
Scribe of Run #88 - November 3 - Sanda
Hare: Mickey Mouse. Runners: 15.
Micky Mouse's BBQ Takoyaki Run
I guess I did not realize it would take such a long time to go to Sanda from Sannomiya. When I got to Amagasaki, I first took a local train toward Fukuchiyama, and then I switched to an express train at Kawanishi as I thought it would be faster. However, I ended up changing back to the original local one at Takarazuka again. Train systems are really confusing in Japan! Or should I have a doubt about my sense of direction? (Ed. Does any hasher have a sense of direction?)
I was hoping everybody would be there when I arrived at Sanda as I did not want to miss any story to put into this article. Unfortunately, only the hare Mickey Mouse was there and I started the run about 20 minutes late.
It was an unusually warm day for November. I ran along the river for a while until I went into some rice field area. I was pushing myself hard to catch up with other hashers because I had heard from Mickey Mouse that it was going to be a long run and I did not want to repeat my experience of one Kobe Hash I ran through Rokko mountain all by myself. In fact I did not see anybody even if I was running pretty fast for 30 minutes and there were not so many checks either. I almost made up my mind to give up the idea of catching up with others, and then suddenly I saw Mad Manx and Big Bird in front of me as I was going into the mountain. Looking tired as I was, they were walking (or hiking!) They were asking if I had seen Beerhead but I never came across with him on my way. Leaving them behind, I started following the arrows by myself again. The colors of the trees were yet not turned so much but the path I was running was so beautiful and peaceful. Soon, I passed 'Fukushima pond' in which later Mrs. Hash Pig told me she saw goldfish. About 10 minutes later, I arrived at an open area at the top of the mountain with a great view of a city below. For some reason I saw so many families with cute dogs. Maybe Sanda is a dog heaven, I guess (like Wanda describes Malaysia as a Hash heaven). There I caught up with GFL, chatted with him for a while and when I finally came down to a main road which seemed going toward the city, I met Mrs. Hash Pig and started running together. It was already close to 5:00 p.m. and ahead of us we saw a big red sun going down. It was one of the most beautiful sunsets I had ever seen in Japan. We kept running after that, but there were no checks or 'On Home' sign. We were quite tired but we encouraged each other and kept running. It was indeed a long run but for me it was a great opportunity to practice for a half marathon as well.
When we reached the goal, everybody welcomed us to be back. Strangely Beerhead was already there so I knew who was going to have down- down for sure. (Ed. Beerhead shortcut? no never). Sooner or later GFL, Mad Manx and Big Bird came back and we started Down2. According to Super Wench, Bo-Bo did not know what a kingfish was so he had to drink. (ed. Down-down for me as I do not know what a kingfish is, a beer in India???). Of course Beerhead had a few down-downs for his shortest cut what's so ever. I myself had one down-down for drinking so much the night before doing "I have never done..." confession game (I do not know the name of this game in English but I hope you understand which game I am talking about.)
On-in was at Mickey Mouse's house, in a beautiful garden. Takoyaki (co-hare) was again our main chef for us. Wanda prepared a special Tandori chicken source and Mickey Mouse treated us with salad and other appetizers. After the great barbecue, down-down session started and Slimie, Miso, Beerhead, Mad Manx, SSS, Super Wench, Bo-Bo, Sukebe, Wanda and others drank up the freezing cold beer. Big Bird received the Hash Shit for celebrating ???. Sometimes I do not pay enough attention what I am singing in Hash. That day Super Wench taught me what 'fornication' meant and we came to a conclusion that fornication was much better than masturbation so we have to sing 'fornication' first in our song from now on.
I apologize for not being able to write more about what happened during the run. Thank you again for Mickey and Takoyaki for their efforts to set such a long nice course and the wonderful barbecue.
Scribed by: Goes Down Well. Checked by: Flash.
Scribe of Run #89 - November 22 - Myodani
Hare: Chinko Manko. Runners: 5.
Chinko Manko's Alternative Kobe
One beautiful Sunday in November, that Americans call 'Indian Summer' (how is it called in England?), Silver Grey, Flash, Slimie, Big Bird, and Ms Pig gathered CM's run at Myodani Station. At the meeting place, a young Rock'n'Roller guy and girlie were dancing in Rock Music.
Anyway, CM looked round the course the previous day, the trail was really good! We were running through the persimmon trees, Chinese quince trees, bushes, typical Japanese country houses etc. until we reached Sogo Undo Koen. At the park, there were lots of entertainment and lots of people were in there. We did the Mooning at the observatory in the park and we enjoyed very much taking a long chute (slide), climbing up the net at the athletic field. In the latter half of trail, we were passing by the Universiade Stadium, it said, 'Staff Only' due to the game of Vissel Kobe vs. Sapporo Consadole that night. However, Silver Grey and Flash got into the stadium in an impressive manner, saying "Well...let us see!". They stayed there quite a long time, so nobody shouted to you "Get out!".
Well, we made a circle having Down-Down at the circus, the Rock'n'Roll guy and girlie were still dancing there. Slimie Limie became a teacher for them teaching turns, positions and steps. We said, "Let's go ON-IN, Slimie! We are hungry!" but Slimie who was very keen on teaching to them said to us, "In a minute!" I didn't know Slimie was a dance teacher.
Finally, the ON-IN was at local Izakaya called 'Taisyo'. At last, we were singing 'Swing Low' in the Izakaya and we got thunderous applause. After all, it was 'Peaceful Sunday Run'.
Scribed by: Hash Pig. Translated by Hand Job. Corrected by: Flash.
Scribe of Run #90 - December 6 - Ashiyagawa
Hare: Flash. Runners: 6. Visitor: 1. (Ex-KyoH3.)
Flash's Birthday Run
Maybe Flash is a good boy, we had a nice weather after 2-day raining. Slimie Limie, CM, Pig Porker, Fancy Pants, Enka Bird from Ladies Hash and myself Big Bird cerebrated his birthday and set off the trail.
Flash set course without flour and we found arrows written on the rocks along the Ashiya River. We followed the arrows and they led us into the luxury apartment in Ashiya. We got on a lift which went up diagonally like a cable car in a mountain. Surprisingly, there was a bench in a lift and we thought, "Very Ashiya!" We stopped each floor and found 'CB'. We felt guilty entering private property, additionally, some scribbles there! I was thrilled as I have not been hashing recently. Luckily, we managed to come out safely. We backed to Ashiya River and up stone stairs to the mountain, we finally found 'Moon check CB to the River'! "No way!" However, we enjoyed the beautiful scenery over the mountain and we did Mooning. We couldn't find the arrow on the way back to the river. The ON‚Qwas under the stairs! And another ON‚Q was the shadow of a telephone pole! It showed Hare's character exactly, didn't it? The next arrow showed the track at the railroad cross. We doubt but we were running the track. Suddenly, we heard the warning and we were really fast runners then. I never thought I could run so fast. During the setting this course, Flash stopped train while he was writing the arrows. I can imagine how the train driver was surprised! Flash said "hello" to the driver. It is illegal, isn't it? Flash would say, "It's Hash!"
Finally, we had Down-Down in front of the public bath. Thanks to Flash, we had P&G shampoo and conditioner and CM bought 3 set of the towel. We had On-In at Murasaki and really good time we had.
Scribed by: Big Bird. Checked by: Hand Job.
BSorry about the noise below, gotta pay the rent somehow!