BScribe of Run 71 - March 1 - Tenma
Hares: RoxxxOff and Sweat PeeCock. Runners: 8. Non-Runners: 4.
Roxxx-Cock and Off-Pee's Housewarming Run
When I arrived at Tenma Station, I couldn't find any arrows. So, decided to walk around the Station. While I was looking for arrows or instructions for the starting point, I found the arrows which was one of the trail to back to the Station. So, I went back to the station and waited for others. But, nobody turned up for a while. So, I was getting a bit nervous and worried. But, NEWT, Hash Pig & Pig Porker, *hinko *anko, and Enka-Bird from Ladies Hash came. Soon after Bunter-Bon came to join. After 5 minutes or so, the hare and co-hare came back and we were told that we should leave our bags in coin-lockers.
We run through the shopping streets and came to Umeda & Ogimachi. and run round and round around that area before going to the pedestrian bridge where was today's mooning place. After mooning, we run down to Nakanoshima, then went to the place called OAP(?? or something like that). That place was the area newly developed and advertised a lot in magazines and the city-paper. For me, it was the first time to visit there. After that, we continued to run for a while, about 10 minutes to the "HOME". What I felt interesting and amazing at the run was that all runners held together from the beginning to the end.
When we back to the "Home", we found Flash who had just returned from his business trip. He was changing into his running gear. At the same time I heard that Slimie had lost our coin locker's key while running. So, Slimie Limie decided to run once more, and I decided to wait for them at the station. Kindly, Pig-Porker helped to look for the key on a bicycle which he borrowed from Roxxoff. Others went to the Sento (=Public Bath) ahead of us. While I was waiting, Lug Nuts, who had been late for the meeting time and made a late start, arrived back. And BH, who had wanted to join all Hashes in the Kansai area within 1 week showed up. Despite searching we couldn't find the key, so asked the service-man to open the locker.
On-On was at Sweet PeaCock and Roxxoff's new apartment. The food was great, pizza, French bread, Sweet PeaCock's special salad and RoxxxOff's home-made beef stew. HJ came for the ON-ON all the way from Hanaten by bicycle with some delicious Chirashi-Sushi she'd made. Then Can't Blow (now re-named 'Goes Down Well'. Ask her to explain it.) showed up with an IOC friend and MORE BEER! Wonderful! Well fed and watered hashers then departed back to their homes.
Scribed by: Wanda. Corrected by: Slimie Limie.
Scribe of Run 72 - March 15 - Nigawa
Hare: Mother Theresa. Co-Hare: Phuckwit. Runners: 8.
A Special Blessing
This run was for Mother Theresa who is thinking of leaving here sometime in the spring and agreed to bless our hash! Apparently, the divine one and her saintly cohort, Phuckwit, were out and about trying to save souls until the crack of dawn. They set about their mission and set a rather good course.
Since I just return from a month long holiday in New Zealand, I was greeted by the die hard hashers and I was freezing. Mother Theresa proclaimed the course was "flat" to our astonishment it was anything but flat. Triathon Bob and Slimie Limie were out in front were lured into a steep valley with a CB waiting. Then on the way back, Can't Blow showed up after her party from the night before! Rumor has it, that she fell face first on to her bedding at a very late hour. Doesn't anyone on the hash except Triathon Bob go to bed on Saturday night?
The trail lead us straight up a steep hill to the remote areas of Nigawa, then through a series of water checks where Wanda swam to the front of the pack. After that we wiggled our way on the train tracks to on home. As expected, Ulysses kept us waiting and the circle was brief. Some of those received downs-downs were GFL for bungy jumping (with photos to prove it!), CM for keeping Ulysses company on the run, and Bunter for not running..................
Finally, Slimie Limie paid for his sins with a down-down for not swimming and in Wanda's words, "for already eating a FISH"!
I would not be doing my job if I did not mention, that Can't Blow finally has learn to blow the horn. Has she been taking lessons? On-On!
Scribed by: GFL
Scribe of Run #73 - March 29 - Mikage
Hare: GFL. Runners: 5. New Boots: 1.
Mad Dogs and Mad Women in Mikage
There's me turning up at Mikage Station on the best day this year - mini skirt weather - even the station guard was playing pocket billiards on this English summer like day - and I expected a riotous throng of hashers to greet me. But NO! All I find is Mariko on the platforn looking for the bog, and down below, GFL, Slimie Limie, Wanda and new boot Ayako. Pathetic eh? Everyone else was either out skipping across some bridge or making daisy chains in the garden.
After being accosted by a crazed woman asking if we were baseball players, GFL led us to his place, from whence the run began. Poor Ayako couldn't get to grips with the idea that it's ok to hang around at a check and let everyone else do the work.
We wended our way through the back streets of GFL's neighbourhood and at one part found ourselves up a dead end alley marked with a strange flour X. This was guarded by a MAD DOG who slobbered and slavered at the sight of Slimie Limie's legs. It howled in distress though when its obasan owner got there first.
Onward we pounded and nearly lost Wanda on a check as she came across a later part of the trail she wasn't supposed to see. Then it was decision time. The Rambo course for the men and the Girlie course for the girlies.
Slimie and my good self fancying ourselves as rugged he-man types opted for the Rambo course which took us straight up one side of a river and straight back down the other. Nice bit of stonework though. Back at the bottom we rejoined the girlies and bared our bottoms for all to see. GFL had torn himself away from his spaghetti and was there handing out beers - good man.
After this we ran up and down a few more roads and lo and behold, back we were at the start. Victuals awaited us in GFL's place cooked by his own fair hands. Later, Triathalon Bob, Bonsai and CU turned up pretending to be tired after running across a bridge - we must have crossed at least 5 but not one comlaint was to be heard from us. We ate heartily, drank deeply, sang lustily and went home to fart roundly.
Scribed by: Newt.
Scribe of Run #74 - April 11 - Sakuranomiya
Hares: RoxxxOff and Sweet PeeCock. Runners: 7. Non-runners: 2.
RoxxxOff and Sweet PeeCock's Wedding Bells Run!
Originally, it was to be a wedding run followed by a bath at a 'Sento' and a Big Party at the 'Pig & Whistle'. We planned to reserve the whole place to celebrate Roxxxoff & Sweat Peecock's Wedding. However, we had to cancel the reservation at the Pig & Whistle and change this plan because of too many weddings and too many hashesin the Kansai Area. Another couple had their wedding on the same day and Kyoto H3 decided to have another run. Why did these matters for congratulation all happen on the same day? So instead of the party at the P & W, it was decided to have a picnic under the beautiful Sakura.
It was about 0:20pm (sorry we were late) when I arrived at the Sento where we should meet and start. But, nobody was there. Even the hares(Roxxoff and Peecock) weren't there. I wondered if others went off already. Anyway, we left our baggage in the sento. When we were about to run, we saw the hares coming by bicycle. "Where are others??" we asked. "I don't know. we just came here now. Anyway, I think you will need 1 hour to go to the wedding place, the Rose Garden. So, see you in 1 hour!" Roxxxoff replied. Then, we began to run. Oh, I forgot to explain about the weather. It was a very nice summer day.
We ran through the Hotels Area and came to the first 'Check Point'. We couldn't see any trace for that check, it seemed that nobody was running before us! So, we had to find the true trail. It wasn't so difficult. After running for a while, we came to OBP (Osaka Business Park, Kyobashi). The flour led us into TWIN21 building(s) which are my company's buildings. But, that was not the true trail. We found true trail outside of the building, and then headed to Osaka-Castle. After Osaka-Castle, we came to the 3rd Check Point and saw the trace someone had checked already. Maybe somebody must be running before us! The trail led us to an extremely crowded area along the river with a lot of Sakura where it looked difficult to run. So, we decided to run along another street until Nakanoshima (Rose-Garden). It wasn't a short-cut because the streets we took were completely parallel to the true trail!
At the Rose Garden, we saw 'Wait Here" written on the small bridge. It was exactly 1:30pm. But nobody was there again. Where were the front hashers?? Maybe we've got ahead of them, as we didn't follow the true trail?? Anyway, we were waiting. About 10 minutes later, nobody came except the hares. So, we decided to go back to the Sento and to have a picnic.
When we went into the Sento, we saw Ms. Wet T-shirt who just came out from the bath. We heard that she and some others ran but couldn't find arrows, so she came back and others were still running.
After having the bath, we saw CM, Lolita, Triathlon Bob, GFL, Bunter-Bon, Miso Horny and Beerhead. After talking with CM, Lolita and Bunter-Bon, I discovered the truth - all people were late for the meeting time, and everybody turned up at a slightly different time between 0:15pm and 0:25pm. And of course, they all (including me) ran. But, some of them couldn't find arrows well and quit. It took time to come back. Some of them were at the Rose Garden just before us (so around 1:25pm). Pity!
Beerhead - his shoulder bone was re-located, and Erection who didn't run came to join the picnic. At the beginning of the picnic, Slimie Limie carried out the hash wedding.
Roxxxoff & Sweat Peecock, Congratulations!
and thanks for all work you did for this run.
Scribed by: Wanda. Sniffed over by: Slimie Limie.
Scribe of Run #75 - April 26 - Mino
Hare: Homophone. Runners: 10.
Mino Minus Monkeys
Mino is famous for wild monkeys and waterfall. But I could'not find any monkeys. Up-Up-Up & Down-Down-Down!!! Thank you Homophone! & Every one!
Scribed by: Humping Iron.
Scribe of Run #76 - May 10 - Amagasaki
Hare: Newt. Runners: 10. New Boots: 2. Visitors: 1. (From West London H3.)
Dump-diving and Arse-tattooing in Amagasaki
I wonder where yesterday's lovely weather had gone, we had typical English weather, courtesy of our English Hare, Newt. SL, Wanda, GFL, Penasonic, Flash, Humping Iron and two guys were there when I arrived at the station. One was a Hasher from London called Hairy Fairy, and the other guy named Tamotsu was one of my college mates in London who hardly spoke to English people since he came back.
There were quite many checks on the trail today and we were running together. After Mooning at a Yodo river bank, the allows showed us to run on the embankment like a balance beam. However, two acrophobes, SL and me, gave up. Then, there was a huge dumping ground in a park. Although everyone looked at old-fashined FAX machine, TV threatened with fire and so on carefully, rubbish is rubbish after all, nobody took anything. It was not true, we saw Flash carrying something in his hand. He acquired a trophy of bowling inscribed Section Competition (Showa) 46.12.25 (Christmas, 1971 for the gaijins out there). If it said, it would be your exact birthday, Flash! It was a great pity!
Flash got lost at the last check and Wanda & SL went to find him. Finally, he came back empty-handed. "Where is your trophy?" asked Wanda. "What are you talking about?" Flash replied pretending ignorance. Wanda testified that Flash had thrown it away just before the Home to avoid DOWN-DOWN. However, Wanda went to take it back and Flash got RUBBISH DOWN-DOWN!
We had ON-IN at a tiny Chinese restaurant in front of the station. We were all satisfied with lots of beer and meal.(except one hasher who kept asking everyone, Don't you fancy Shumai? Spring Rolls? Or, maybe Sake? You know who it was ?!) After dinner, we enjoyed Flash's temporary tatoo from Thailand. Some sticked their favourite tatoo on their left up arm. SL, who was having an interview the following day, preferred his tatoo on his chest, but it seemed impossible due to too much hair! At last, he put it on the side, which was less hair. Flash got two tatoos on his both bottoms. Such a typical peaceful Sunday evening, people in the restaurant were astonished at our behaviour at first. Before long, one high-school boy asked Flash to have one. I got a lovely tiny red rose on my left arm. I felt like Akina Nakamori who was singing "TATOO." I should have been wearing a funny costume like a bath towel.
Still we were kicked out the restaurant, we spent about one hour having DOWN-DOWN, taking photos in front of there. Here is a fact for foreigners. They cannot squat down with their heels on the ground. If they try to put their heels on the ground, they fall on their back immediately. That's why they are no match for Japanese style toilet. When they use this type of toilet, they need to undress as children do.
Do you remember 10 May was Mother's Day in Japan and USA? Unfortunately, we had no mother harriette today, no one got Mother DOWN-DOWN. Two American guys said they would give a call their mother later. Did you?
Perhaps everyone wonder where the trophy is now. I saw the head of it in Flash's bag.
P.S. Good luck for your new job, SL.
Scribed by: Hand Job. Corrected by: Flash.
Scribe of Run #77 - May 24 - Ashiya
Hares: Triathlon Bob and GFL. Runners: 6. Non-runners: 1.
You mean I'M haring today?
It was a Sunday afternoon with a murky sky and rain on and off since the morning. And, there was dampness in the air. There was a rumor that Bob, today's hare, had completely forgotten that he was to be the hare. So, GFL was placed in the hare/co-hare's position. He explained how they had shared the job - 'I set the first half of the trail and it will take 1.5 hours for you to run. After that, Bob started to add his trail. He hasn't come back yet.' So, we all surmised 'today's run must definitely be long and we'll have to run to the mountains.'
While we were preparing to run, Flash, who had to fly off to Thailand on a business trip that day, called by just to advertise about the up-coming Red-Dress Run. But, all we prefered the complimentary shampoo & rinse he had brought compared to the Red-Dress Run advertisements!
We ran in the air of 100% humidity. At a check-point, in order to draw an On-On arrow, Phuckwit borrowed a magazine & broomstick from someone's garage without permission. Pig Porker borrowed a block from a flower garden without permission too, because nobody had chalk. (Down-Downs all round! But thanks for marking... S-L)
In about 1 hour, we got back to JR Ashiya and I was ready to run Bob's course, however it was a complete 'On-Home'. GFL had been lying!!
Anyway, everybody came back and we had the Down-Down Circle. It was a very hot run before the setting-in of the rainy season.
Scribed by: Hash Pig. Translated by: Wanda. Sniffed over by: Slimie Limie.
Scribe of Run #78 - June 6 - Sukebe-So
Hare: Slimie Limie. Runners: 22.
Slimie's Folly
Well, how do we start - maybe in the car, Sukebe's car, driving up to Oyamachi, for those who may not know, the location of Sukebe's summer house deep in the mountains of northern Hyogo-Ken. Slimie, the hare, had maps of the area and wanted to set the course on his own - and that he did - one of the better runs we've had up there in the green green world with wonderful fresh air.
Anyway, we started off at about 4:30 - up to the ski area where there was a CB and then down to the "hairpin" turn where we usually turn right and up - a few of our Rambo types - Phuckwit, C-M and Newt went up to find nothing - a few of our more clever types had looked for flour/chalk on the way up in the car and having found nothing, stood around on the "hairpin" turn waiting and all took off down the hill - past the summer house (I call this a Miso Horny CB - Juso run two weeks ago - where the On-On is beyond - way beyond what you expect). Down, down to a left turn off the road which lead to "Phuckwit's Tunnel" - he, running ahead, purposly misdirected all of us through a metal aquaduct, while he continued on the right course, smugly yelling On-On! We all ran down the same road, caught him and continued through the village, further down and turned left - the Rambo course - all of us up the mountain - up, up - "ladies" down, down on their bums in the mud, etc. Finally came out and up another road where we finally turned left again - up, up on some sort of trail - out left and up another road - here the hare must have lost his way (He did. Boy did he... S-L.) as there was a CB about 2K up there - here, here was where the long trek back to the start really began. Phuckwit, as usual, running down and gaining on all of us, back down past to where we had come off the trail - where we found Ulysses and Mounted (Kyoto hasher) just coming off the trail - both broadly smiling and asking - CB? - which made them happy.
I noticed "P" had slowed a bit - to a nice pace - we passed Beerhead, who was bitching and griping due to he had lost the sole of his shoe and had missed the left turn altogether.
Now it was "crunch" time - "the shit was hitting the fan" - whatta ya got left? - Phuckwit up front - Bobo, looking fresh and cool passed me, and then C-M (looking a bit tired) but running well and finally my old old buddy Snake Seaman - shit, he passed me too! Not far behind was Little Snake and Mother Theresa and Futatabi (Kyoto hasher) - a great run - great feeling - cold beer - ISN'T THIS WHAT THE HASH IS ALL ABOUT? Thank you Slimie.
Down-Downs to almost everybody but maybe the best to Beerhead who drank from his old shoe - beer coming out at where the sole had been and various other places - we had to fill it up several times in order to make it a "valuable Down-Down". Oh Beerhead lost his sole, lost his soul - oh - we need a new hash song about Beerhead losing his soul - well enough of this. I'll leave it to your imaginations on how the rest of the evening went.
PS. Some time between 3 & 4 AM, Ulysses was wandering around with two cans of Sapporo looking for a "drunken partner" - finding no one awake he barged into the second floor sleeping room - crying "Who are you, who are you?" prior to collapsing on the sleeping bodies.
Scribed by: Triathlon Bob.
Scribe of Run #79 - June 21 - Tennouji
Hare: Flash. Co-Hare: Hand Job. Runners: 12. New Boots: 2.
Flash's Red Dress Run
It was raining cats and dogs on the very happy day for Flash, and I expected maybe only a few would show up due to this bad weather. But No, many hashers were there at the exit of Tennouji Station dressed in their own red! It looked Flash, Slimie Limie and Beerhead were really outstanding. Ms.Wet T-shirts was also cute, with a bandanna on the head and wearing a nice miniskirt. We were in the center of all the people's attention and looked very funny.
We set off to the direction of Tennouji-Zoo, Tsutenkaku and the trail led us to Namba area. It was raining continuously and we all got soaked to the skin. We were all Mr. and Ms.WET T-shirts actually. It was Sunday and around Namba, there were many many people and we managed to find our way luckily. The highlight of this trail was Mooning, of course. This time we had two Moon checks! One was done in front of famous 'Kuidaore' restaurant and the other was done on 'Nanpa(Pick-Up)' Bridge. Here again we were in the center of many people's attention.
Today's hare, Flash was running with us somehow and when we got to Subway Shinsaibashi station, he said 'We take the subway to Yodoyabashi'. So, we took the subway and some 'genki' hashers remained on the road running. It was good that we had \200 in our pocket by Flash's advice at the starting point. At Yodoyabashi station, we welcomed Silver Grey first, who was as fast as our train. Wanda came in last, but a good job she made.
From Yodoyabashi we went on running to the north, direction of Umeda and Nakatsu. Due to the weather of the day, the schedule was changed, Beer-Garden was cancelled and now it was decided we would go to Beerhead's place. We arrived at the parking lot which is on the first floor of Beerhead's apartment house. There we had a long down-down ceremony drinking beers. It was getting colder by that time and we are in the mood for going On-In place soon.
The On-In was at 'Ushinabeya', which is a good joint where beef is served in a special cooking style. There we met Hand-Job's little sister for the first time. For me, the sisters looked a little different, but the little sister's way of talking was just like the same as Hand-Job. We ate and drank a lot, made a lot noise and went home. It was luckey that by the time we left, the rain had stopped completely. Bunter walked Ms.Wet T-shirts to subway Umeda Station, having a good conversation just between themselves. Good job for the day, everyone!.
Scribed by: Bunter-Bon.
Scribe of Run #80 - July 12 - Nishinomiya Kitaguchi
Hare: Wanda. Runners: 5. New Boots: 2.
Another Wanda-ful Run
Despite looking forward to the welcoming of three enew bootsf, your scribe arrived for todayfs run nearly 30 minutes late. Why? Before I try to explain, a question: What is hash all about? The pursuit of happiness gained through running and drinking, I understand. Well who says these activities need to be done in that order? And what better way of taking care of a hangover is there than sweating it out on a run - especially if youfre still half shit-faced having crawled out the last bar at 6am? So sake-breathed greetings were made to Hare Wanda, and almost half the pack - stalwart KFMH3 runners Snake Seaman and Chinko-Manko. Remainder of todayfs pack (ho hum, summer vacations are here - sayonara teachers!) were virgins Andy from England, now living in Nara, and Shiraki-san from Itami. Third nu-be didnft show. Reputedly already a hasher, perhaps he dispensed with the first pursuit altogether and stayed with the second? A smart move, Ifd say, coming close to hurling breakfast in the first 100m.
By 3:40 our Moon-Master, Get Fuckin' Lost still hadnft shown up, and since it was reported he was cycling to the start (a distance of about 3K, mainly East), we figured he was probably on the outskirts of Himeji by now (a distance of about 30K, mainly West), so took off without him. Closely followed by Wanda on her bicycle, whofd remembered shefd forgotten to write a eMoon Checkf on the trail. Down Down!
The trail zigzagged mainly West before heading North to the first check. Being thin on the ground, new boot Andy checked straight while Snake looked right and I tried not to decorate left. Chinko meanwhile was bringing up the rear with our other nu-be. On-On turned out to be straight, while Seaman enjoyed re-visiting the first part of the trail on a loop, and I found nothing. This pretty much set the pattern for the rest of the run - beginnerfs luck or have we got ourselves a new enaturalf hasher here?
A further 1k up the trail and we meet a beaming Wanda at the Moon Check. It was situated in a small wood, and since there was nobody around to offend (the rest of the pack refused to drop 'em in front of two obasans due to the absence of nearby paramedics), the hare hung around to stand in. I think that was her excuse, anyway.
Next check was again sussed by Andy while I crawled around a parking lot trying to look under cars that no doubt hadnft been there when the trail was laid. No, I was NOT laying my own trail. Perhaps it was a sign of my condition, but the next check was marked by the time I got there.
The trail was now looping around to the East and we ran past Mondo-Yakujin Temple, apparently dedicated to fish and the highlight of todayfs run for obvious reasons. (A clue for the cranially challenged: A FISH called WANDA. Geddit?) Andy decided the level of the water in the pool needed raising, a defilement that earned him a second Down-Down in the circle. Claims he used the toilet, but if he did that makes him the first rugby player Ifve met who knows how to.
By now the pack had regrouped, but Shiraki-san was missing! A quick trot 500m back down trail revealed nothing, so gentlemen to the last, we continued without her. We arrived at the forth and final check together. Just as well, it went on for ever. I was convinced I was eOnf and about to call (and notch up a third infraction, no On-On!) when I found CB - with another route from the check coming in from the right. Which we all visited again later, thanks to an early call by our enthusiastic nu-be. Still, I guess 3 out of 4 ainft bad! On-On was eventually guessed by elimination, a written eOn-Onf found (rats, one less Down-Down!), and the welcome sight of eOn Homef soon after. There we found Shiraki-san, having sensibly headed back on getting lost between checks. Or was that chunks? Nice run, Wanda!
GFL it turned out, was still On-trail having run after arriving late due to a puncture (must have been the tough northern-Hyogo mountains on the way), so with your scribe standing in as Circle-Miester, Down-Downs were dispensed as follows: Wanda: Hare and adding eMoon-Checkf AFTER setting the run; Shiraki-san: New Boot (refused, doesnft drink - then poured softy on the ground since sacred vessel was apparently contaminated. By BEER?); Andy: New Boot and watering a fishy temple; Seaman: Having the same (hash) name as a key player in a recent sports event I know nothing about (goal-guarder for England or something?); Chinko-Manko: Annoying estate-agents (realtors to my over-the-pond readers) by thinking about moving apartments again (yeah, I was getting desperate by now); Me: I forget why, but it was probably for forgetting something; and finally GFL: For arriving late and... well, just being there!
On-In was at the eotherf Fujiya. Pretty quiet, relatively, possibly due to the average age of the rest of the patrons being a bit less than half mine. Is school out already? Finally shocked them into stunned silence with a beautifully harmonious rendition of eSwing Lowf before heading On-home.
Scribbled in his bestest crayons by: Slime Limie.
BSorry about the noise below, gotta pay the rent somehow!