Saturday Night Slams 2000 08/05

August 5

MMP Saturday Night Slams is on the air! More than 15, 000 fans are jammed into the MMP Coliseum for tonight’s event. Commentators Jerry Wood and Ray Brewer are at ringside.

Wood: Welcome, everyone, to MMP Saturday Night Slams! I’m Jerry Wood alongside Ray Brewer here at the MMP Coliseum for tonight’s card. Four big matches on tap tonight, and our main event is the much anticipated “Virus Challenge” with The Ryno taking on a still unannounced opponent, and if he can get past this mystery challenger he’ll get Virus in the ring next weekend on Hardcore Saturday Night. I know Ryno has been waiting for this opportunity ever since that farce of a match back at March Mayhem when the dressing room emptied to help Virus get past Ryno in the noose match. He’ll be pulling out all the stops tonight, even though he still doesn’t know who he’ll be facing.

Brewer: Yeah, and Wood, am I reading this right? I’m looking at the lineup and I see an MMP television title match between Twisted Steel and…Mr. Beumont? You know, for a guy who is claiming to be bringing prestige to the TV belt, Steel sure is doing a pretty good job of contradicting himself with these bottom-feeder matches. The next thing you know he’ll be bringing back the Joker’s Ranking System and dragging the TV title through the same sewer that Joker pulled the midwestern strap through last year.

Wood: Yes, Ray, I’m afraid you are reading that correctly, and I have to agree I’m not looking forward to that match any more than you are. If there’s one saving grace, I wouldn’t expect this debacle to take too long. We will see Adam Kogler’s new charge, The Punisher in the ring tonight, going one on one with Guru, but to kick things off tonight we will see the in-ring debut of Falcon, the new arrival from south of the border. It will be a big test for the luchadore early in his career, however, as he gets into the ring with the undefeated Glycerine. Let’s go to the ring for our opening bout.

GLYCERINE vs. FALCON

The 140 pound rookie from Mexico made his way to the ring first, accompanied by his valet Troy. The crowd was hot in anticipation of what this style of wrestler might bring to the MMP, but that excitement was quieted as the mysterious man known as Glycerine made his way down to the ring with Vanessa. As the much larger of the two men stepped into the ring Falcon was all over him, hammering away on Glycerine with rapid kicks to the upper body and chops across the chest. Falcon’s speed advantage clearly had Glycerine off guard in the early going, and Falcon was able to whip the man across the ring into the far side ropes. Falcon sent himself off the near ropes, and as Glycerine came back Falcon caught the man with a flying clothesline that knocked Glycerine clear off his feet. Glycerine instinctively shot back up but Falcon was waiting for him, hooking the man and setting him up for a vertical suplex. The big man, though, had too much left in him and his size and strength advantage allowed him to block Falcon’s move with ease and counter with a suplex of his own. He slammed Falcon hard to the canvas and floated over to apply a rear chinlock. Glycerine pressed down on Falcon’s head and neck with all his weight, but it wasn’t enough to quash Falcon’s fighting spirit. Despite his major size disadvantage Falcon fought back, struggling to make it back to his feet. Glycerine kept the hold applied though, and once Falcon was up Glycerine slammed him with a forearm across the back that sucked the wind out of Falcon’s sails. With the luchadore dazed Glycerine grabbed the man and took him over with a t-bone suplex, slamming him to the mat once more before yanking the man to his feet and whipping him to the far corner. Falcon hit hard, and Glycerine slowly followed him in. He grabbed Falcon by the shoulders to hold him in place and started ramming knees into the little man’s midsection, knocking the wind right out of him. Falcon had his arms draped over the top rope, and that was all that was keeping him from collapsing to the canvas in a heap. The referee stepped in and ordered Glycerine to let Falcon out of the corner, and he obliged, albeit only momentarily. He walked in and grabbed Falcon again and wound up to deliver a big headbutt, but Falcon stepped out of the way, grabbed Glycerine by the back of the head, and slammed him face first into the top turnbuckle! Glycerine stumbled back and Falcon grabbed him by the head, hopped up to the middle rope, and took Glycerine down with a tornado DDT. With Glycerine lying flat on his back Falcon used the second rope as a springboard and connected with a moonsault before making cover. Glycerine kicked out after only two, but that didn’t deter Falcon from his goal. He pulled Glycerine up and whipped him into the far corner as The Joker’s Child and Ponch made their way down to the ring. Glycerine hit the buckle hard and Falcon followed in with a backspring elbow, but Glycerine moved out of the way and Falcon caught nothing but turnbuckle. While the luchadore was dazed Glycerine charged in and crushed him with an avalanche, causing Falcon to fall face first to the canvas. As Glycerine was pulling Falcon up he looked to the outside and saw Joker making advances towards Vanessa. He immediately dropped Falcon and jumped out to the floor to back Joker away. A group of referees came running out from the back to keep the two men apart, and once Joker was escorted away Glycerine turned back towards the ring. The first thing he saw as he turned was Falcon coming flying over the top rope with a crossbody, dropping Glycerine to the floor. He then rolled Glycerine back into the ring and climbed up onto the apron where he waited for Glycerine to get back to his feet. Once Glycerine was up Falcon used the top rope as a springboard into a huracanrana…but Glycerine caught him in mid air. After taking a second to reposition his opponent Glycerine slammed Falcon down with the Ignition! From there he made the cover, hooked the leg, and got the 1…2…3. As Troy helped Falcon from the ring, thunder started booming throughout the arena. The lights went out, and when they came back on a cloaked figure was standing directly in front of Glycerine. His identity was hidden, but it was clear that Glycerine recognized the individual standing before him. He appeared for only a moment before the lights went out again, and when they came back up the figure was gone. Glycerine was furious, tossing around equipment and screaming at everyone in sight while Vanessa tried to calm him down and lead him to the back.

Wood: Glycerine keeps his undefeated streak intact with a win over Falcon, but the bigger story here could be this mysterious cloaked figure that we saw out here tonight. Only Glycerine seems to know who this is, but he’s not saying anything. Any ideas, Ray?

Brewer: Sure, I have my theories, much the way I’m sure you have a couple ideas of your own, Wood. If you ask me, this has something to do with The Cult. We’ve seen The Cult Master pull little tricks like this before, and I guarantee you he’s the one behind this. He’s probably just trying to intimidate the new recruit to keep him in line. That’s the only answer I can see.

Wood: Well I don’t have the first clue who that man is, but I think you may have a point, Ray. The Cult Master does like to play the mind games with his opponents, and there’s no telling what he might do with a man like Glycerine, a man he can’t fully trust just yet. I’m sure we’ll find out in due time. We must make mention of Falcon’s performance tonight. A hell of an effort from that young man coming in from Mexico to try and make a name in the MMP. He gave it his all, but it was his first match and it was against an undefeated man roughly twice his size – certainly not the best situation for this newcomer. He’s got the determination, though, and I think it could only be a matter of time before Falcon becomes one of the more popular wrestlers in the MMP. Coming up next a man that we understand is a former tag team partner of this man Falcon, and that of course is The Punisher. These two have been at each other’s throats ever since Falcon arrived here, and the word going around is that they could very well be facing each other coming up in a few weeks at MMP Apocalypse. Before we get there, though, Punisher has a big test in his path against the rap star known as Guru.

THE PUNISHER vs. GURU

Guru was already waiting in the ring as Punisher’s entrance music blared over the loudspeaker. The newest protégé of Adam Kogler rode down to ringside on his motorcycle, with his valet Heavenly sitting on the back, gripping her man’s waist tightly. Punisher stepped through the ropes and glared across the ring at Guru, who didn’t back down from his larger opponent. The two men slowly walked towards one another, and once the ref called for the bell Punisher lunged forward and nailed Guru with a hard right hand. Another pair of rights backed Guru into the corner, where Punisher began hammering mercilessly on his adversary. He spun Guru around and slammed him three times into the corner turnbuckle before scooping him up on his shoulder. With Guru up in the air Punisher charged out and nailed a running powerslam, planting his opponent in the middle of the ring and making the cover for the 1…2…Guru kicked out at the last minute, much to the surprise of Punisher. Punisher didn’t delay, though, and yanked Guru to his feet, whipping him hard across the ring into the far turnbuckle. The rapper hit hard, but when Punisher got within reach Guru lunged forward and raked the biker’s eyes, backing him up enough for Guru to build a head of steam and nail the man with a running clothesline. Punisher went down, but rather than following up right away he hopped up to the second rope where he waited for Punisher to get to his feet. Once the man was up he jumped off and nailed Punisher with a dropkick, knocking the man right back down. Guru then went for a cover, but just as he had done earlier Punisher kicked out after only a count of two. Undaunted, Guru pulled Punisher up and whipped him across the ring into the buckle, a very close mirror of his opponent’s earlier offensive series. Punisher hit hard and staggered out as Guru went for a spinning heel kick, but Punisher ducked out of the way at the last minute and Guru fell flat on his back to the canvas. Guru had the wind knocked out of him and Punisher slowly walked towards him, eventually pulling him to his feet and hoisting him high in the air in a gorilla press slam. Instead of just dropping Guru to the mat, though, Punisher walked over and dropped him over the top rope, sending him crashing all the way down to the floor below. Against the referee’s warning Punisher followed Guru out, slamming him head first into the steps as soon as he got to the floor. With the referee counting inside the ring Punisher lifted Guru high in the air and dropped him throat-first down across the safety rail before sending Guru back into the ring. Punisher went for a cover, but again Guru was able to kick out before three. By this time Punisher was starting to get frustrated and he pulled Guru to his feet and whipped him off the ropes. As Guru bounded back Punisher went for a clothesline, but Guru ducked out of the way and came to a dead stop. Before Punisher could turn around Guru hooked him from behind and drove him face first to the canvas with a bulldog headlock. Punisher was down, and Guru didn’t waste any time in going to the top rope. With Punisher lying prone Guru came off with a flying splash, but at the very last minute Punisher shot his legs up and Guru landed flush on Punisher’s knees. Guru rolled over grabbing his midsection in agony as Punisher pulled himself up. He quickly grabbed Guru, pulled him up, and delivered the A-Bomb before making a cover and scoring the three count.

Wood: Big win here for The Punisher, who certainly has been making a lot of waves in recent weeks with his alliance with Adam Kogler and his war of words with The Ryno. He has looked good in both his outings so far in the MMP, first in his loss against Glycerine and tonight with his win over Guru. Kogler might have another star on his hands.

Brewer: This smells of desperation, Wood. Kogler is a hack and a fraud, and we all know that. This chump Punisher is buying into this nonsense because he’s desperate to get rich quick, in a manner of speaking. I really don’t have anything to say about it, Wood. I’ve said it all before. If Punisher is that ignorant, that’s his problem.

Wood: Be that as it may…coming up next is what we around the office have been calling the Ray Brewer Dream Match all week as Twisted Steel is about ready to defend the MMP television title in what I’m sure will be little more than comic relief against Mr. Beumont. This should be a good one, wouldn’t you say Ray? Let’s go back to the ring.

MMP Television Championship Match
TWISTED STEEL (C) vs. MR. BEUMONT

Mr. Beumont came to the ring, accompanied by the returning CWO! Beumont, who was dressed up as The Ryno, was yelling at everyone seated along the aisle, screaming that he was hardcore and that he would kill everyone. “Fucking Hostile” then blared over the loudspeaker as Twisted Steel, wearing a Ramones t-shirt, came down the aisle with Adam Kogler. Kogler, who had The Punisher following closely behind, had a mic:

Kogler: "Ladies and gentlemen if you didn't know by now, this fine gentleman here, The Punisher, will serve as my new ... protection policy. Ryno, or any other imbeciles in the back wanna try and powerbomb me through a table again, you have to get through this man first. But to our worthy challenger tonight: Ultimate Beumont, I assure you that neither the Punisher nor myself will get involved in this highly anticipated TV Title match. Fans, you're about to witness a classic Good luck, and may the best man win!"

Steel removed his shirt and handed the belt to Kogler as the bell sounded to open the match. The champ offered Beumont a handshake but Beumont refused, telling Steel he wasn’t getting out of the match that easily and then growling right in Steel’s face. Beumont started slapping at Steel, and Steel responded as if he had been hit in the head with a steel chair. After a third slap Steel fell to the canvas hard, an obviously exaggerated reaction to Beumont’s “assault”. Beumont, looking surprised, got down and made the cover and nearly got a three count before Steel got his shoulder up. The TV champ then grabbed Beumont and applied a reverse chinlock, nearly crushing the transient’s head in his hands. The match had already taken much longer than expected, and the fans showed their displeasure at the slow pace with a loud chorus of boos. After a while the referee checked Beumont’s arm. It fell once. It fell twice. It fell…on the third try Steel let go of the hold and grabbed Beumont’s arm, holding it up to keep Beumont in the match. Beumont slowly started stumbling awkwardly to his feet, bringing a mock expression of fear to Steel’s face. The champ turned and ran towards the ropes and fell out of the ring, landing on his feet. Beumont started to yell that Steel wouldn’t “get away that easy” and chased him out, but Steel easily grabbed hold of the challenger and kicked him in the midsection. He dragged him over the announce table and prepared to deliver a Ryno Charge, just as Ryno had done to Kogler, but instead he simply tossed Beumont into Brewer’s lap. Brewer nearly fell out of his chair, and Kogler burst into hysterics on the other side of the ring. Brewer shot to his feet, tossing Beumont aside, and moved towards Kogler. Before Brewer could get too close Punisher stepped in, and before anything could come of the confrontation nearly a dozen officials came down from the dressing room to keep everyone at bay. Frustrated, Brewer left the ring and stormed back to the dressing room, leaving Wood alone at the announce table. In the meantime Beumont had started to crawl away from the announce position but Steel grabbed him and tossed him back in the ring. The champ followed and easily nailed Beumont with a one-arm chokeslam. He made the cover, but after two Steel rolled off as if Beumont had kicked out and slammed the mat out of mock frustration. Another cover yielded the same result, with Steel this time complaining to the referee about a slow count. By this time the crowd was totally fed up, and some fans began throwing garbage into the ring. Steel looked out at the crowd and gave a thumbs-up signal and pulled Beumont back to his feet. He hooked the challenger in a full nelson and went for the Living End, but Steel feigned as if he couldn’t get Beumont up. After a second “failed” attempt Steel finally got him up and delivered his devastating finisher. Steel collapsed to the canvas and lay motionless next to his defeated opponent for a few moments before draping an arm over Beumont to get the 1…2…3. After the match Kogler ran in the ring and handed Steel his TV title, then joined Steel in pulling Beumont to his feet in a mock show of sportsmanship. He stood between the two combatants and raised their hands as “We Are the Champions” started to play. As the celebration was going on, Nashira started making her way towards the ring. Beumont started bragging that she was coming for him, but as she got close to the ring he took off out of the ring and out of the arena through the crowd, leaving Steel and Kogler in the ring. Suddenly, with Steel’s back turned, Aries came from the audience, shoved Punisher from behind into the ring post, and got in the ring where he nailed Steel with a forearm to the back of the head. Kogler jumped out of the ring before Aries could get a hand on him, leaving the “Beast from Greece” in the ring to deliver the Godly Drop to Steel. Punisher slid into the ring to stop him, but Aries escaped before Punisher could get there. He joined Nashira, who had a microphone, in the aisle:

Nashira: Well, I do believe I stated that "annoying me could be harmful to your health". I wouldn't piss Aries off right now Kogler. Steel’s will soon come to an end.

Aries and Nashira walked back to the dressing room as Steel got back to his feet in the ring.

Wood: Well I can tell I’m not the only one who’s glad that debacle is over. Twisted Steel is still the MMP television champion as expected, and it doesn’t look like Aries and Nashira took too kindly to this little charade. He certainly made his presence felt, and I’m sure it won’t be long before Steel and Kogler respond to this attack. As for my broadcast colleague Ray Brewer, I’m not sure exactly where he has gone. I heard him muttering something about fixing things as he stormed out of here, but I have no idea what that could mean. Perhaps we will find out by the time we take the air next weekend. Well, we have one match left here tonight at the MMP Coliseum, and that is the so-called “Virus Challenge”. Anything goes, no interference, and if Ryno can defeat his mystery opponent tonight, he gets Virus next week at Hardcore Saturday Night.

Anything Goes Match
THE RYNO vs. MYSTERY OPPONENT

Ryno came down the aisle first, pushing along with him a dumpster full of weapons, ready to tear whoever his opponent might be limb from limb. Once he got in the ring he turned to look for his opponent, and certainly to no one’s surprise, out towards the ring came Harbinger, wearing his “Mayor of Arkansas” crown and with a woman on each arm. Ryno didn’t want to wait for Harbinger to get to the ring and he met the man in the aisle, hammering him with hard right hands before dragging him down towards the ring and slamming him into the dumpster before rolling him in under the bottom rope. Harbinger stumbled to his feet but Ryno was all over him, pounding Harbinger back into the corner and taking him off his feet with a hard uppercut. Ryno then reached over the top rope and pulled a steel chair out of his dumpster, which he used to hammer Harbinger across the top of the head. He then dragged Harbinger out towards the center of the ring and, holding the chair under his leg, delivered a legdrop right across Harbinger’s face. Harbinger was bloodied and beaten already in the early going and Ryno seemed on the express route to victory when out from the dressing room came Adam Kogler. He came slowly down the aisle, daring Ryno to try and Ryno Charge him through a table when Kogler didn’t have his back turned. Ryno was hesitant, knowing that a challenge from Kogler usually had a trap in it somewhere, but he kept his eyes on Kogler as he came down to the ring. With Ryno’s back turned, Twisted Steel and The Punisher came in from the crowd, but instead of going to Ryno they went right after Harbinger, stomping him viciously in the corner. Ryno turned around, saw them, and realized what was happening, but it was too late. The referee called for the bell and, according to Ryno’s own interference stipulation, awarded the match to Harbinger. Ryno was livid, as were the fans, who filled the ring with debris for the second time in as many matches. Steel and Punisher continued to pound Harbinger while Ryno argued with the referee until Virus Richards came down to the ring:

Virus (with obvious sarcasm in his voice): Damn it, Kogler, what are those two morons doing?! Everything was going perfectly. Brother Harbinger was coming out here to lay down for this Beumont-gimmick-stealing buffoon just to ensure I’d get a chance to kick his ass next week, and what happened? Steel and Punisher ruined everything! How dare you?!?!

By this time both Virus and Kogler had nearly broken down laughing in the aisle, while Steel and Punisher continued to beat on Harbinger. Ryno simply glared at Virus from the ring.

Virus: But because of your interference, Adam, I guess I’ll just have to have that match right now!

Virus tossed the mic aside and slid into the ring where Ryno was more than ready for him. The reigning extreme champion stomped Virus repeatedly as he slid into the ring and went to toss him through the ropes, but instead Virus hit head first against the side of the dumpster and collapsed back into the ring. Ryno pulled Virus up again, but this time Steel and Punisher came over to stop him, hammering Ryno across the back with steel chairs until he was motionless on the canvas. Just when it seemed hopeless for Ryno, running down to the ring with a chair in hand was the newcomer Falcon. He slid into the ring swinging the chair wildly, sending Steel, Punisher, Virus, and Harbinger all running for cover. Virus raised Harbinger's hand on the outside of the ring while Falcon helped Ryno up, passed him a chair, and dared them all to come back. Once Ryno had his back turned, though, Falcon wound up and blasted him across the back, sending Ryno over the top rope and out to the floor!! He then threw the chair down on Ryno and joined the Steel/Virus group as the scene fades to black.

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