Saturday Night Slams 2000 07/15

July 15

MMP Saturday Night Slams is on the air! More than 15, 000 fans are jammed into the MMP Coliseum for tonight’s event. Commentators Jerry Wood and Ray Brewer are at ringside.

Wood: Welcome, everyone, to MMP Saturday Night Slams! I’m Jerry Wood alongside Ray Brewer here at the MMP Coliseum where tonight, in front of a sold out crowd, we present an abbreviated program as we head down the road towards BattleGround 3, the MMP’s annual July spectacular. Two championship matches are on tap here tonight, and as well we will see the end of the MMP career of one wrestler right here at the MMP Coliseum. Our very first match here on Saturday Night Slams will be a special “loser leaves town” match between Mr. Beumont and Lexus, and one man will never be seen again here in the MMP.

Brewer: Wood, I’ve been waiting for this night for almost two years. Lexus may not have a whole lot of experience and he may not have had a whole lot of success around here, but all you really have to be is awake to beat a guy like Mr. Beumont. I’d be surprised if he’s not already passed out somewhere backstage, but if he is I hope there are plenty of officials back there to drag him out here tonight and make sure he doesn’t miss this match.

Wood: I might have to agree with you there, Ray. I can’t think of too many guys that have fallen to the so-called “Ultimate Beumont” without the interference of 12 or 13 guys, and in a match of this magnitude under this kind of scrutiny there’s no way he’ll be able to rely on that kind of help. If Beumont can somehow get through this match, though, he will team up with Psychotic Sam to challenge Aries and Hades for the MMP tag team championship in our main event. If Beumont can’t get there, though, it will be Sam out there on his own taking on two men in an attempt to secure the tag team titles. We will find out the status of that match just moments from now, as it is time to go to the ring here on Saturday Night Slams for our opening contest.

Loser Leaves Town Match
MR. BEUMONT vs. LEXUS

With Lexus already waiting in the ring, Mr. Beumont made his way down the aisle in the company of Havoc and Psychotic Sam, with Sam carrying a sign that read “Vote Me Today for King of Spain”. Beumont got in the ring and walked right up to Lexus, flexing right in front of his opponent, showing off his less than impressive physique. Lexus didn’t take kindly to Beumont’s showboating and grabbed his opponent, and whipped him off the ropes. He caught Beumont coming back with a flying bodypress and held him down in a pinning position. The ref got down to make the count, but as he did Sam climbed into the ring, carrying a microphone:

Sam- At this time I would like all my people know if you vote me for King of Spain I promis to put wooden toilets in every telephone booth.

The referee’s count was broken as he tried to usher Sam out to the floor, and while this was going on Mike the Giant Retard came down to the ring, carrying Marbels and holding a sign that read “Spain Needs a New King – Vote Marbels”. Lexus wasn’t phased by Sam’s antics, though, and stayed focused on the task at hand. He pulled Beumont up and delivered a DDT before going for another pin, but again the count was interrupted, this time by Mike climbing into the ring with a mic:

Mike- Marbles eats Cat Food.

For the second time the referee had to send an interfering Family member to the floor, but this time he wasn’t the only one to voice his displeasure. Lexus got up and got right in Mike’s face, giving Beumont a chance to get to his feet. After slowly staggering back to a vertical base Beumont stumbled over and nailed Lexus with a forearm to the back, but all that did was turn Lexus’ attention back to the match. He scooped Beumont up and slammed him before going for another cover. Once again the count was broken up, this time by both Sam and Mike, who paraded around the ring carrying their respective signs. The referee was clearly becoming fed up with the constant interference, and he got right in between the two men, telling them that if either one interfered in the match again he would disqualify Beumont and he would be out of the MMP. While the referee’s back was turned, though, Havoc slid into the ring on the other side with a steel chair. He came up on Lexus from behind and slammed the chair across the back of Lexus’ head, knocking him out. Havoc helped Beumont up, and the transient went for his “finisher”, the drunk’s elbow. Beumont slowly ran off both ropes and when he finally got ready to drop the elbow, he missed. Havoc shook his head and finally dragged Beumont over and threw him on top of Lexus before getting out of the ring. Sam and Mike saw that Beumont was making the cover and they left the ring, allowing the ref to turn around and count the 1…2…3. Once the match was over “We Are the Champions” pumped in over the loudspeaker and Beumont stumbled to his feet. He started jumping around in celebration before Havoc pulled him out of the ring and led him back to the dressing room.

Wood: Well I never thought I’d say this again, but Mr. Beumont is your winner here on Saturday Night Slams. Not only has he won this match, he has also ended the career of Lexus before it really even had a chance to begin.

Brewer: Well, perhaps this is for the best, Wood. Don’t get me wrong, I still wish I’d never have to see Mr. Beumont again, but if Lexus can be outwitted by this band of freaks to the extent that they can cause him to lose a match to Mr. Beumont, well, maybe he’s better off looking for a new line of work.

Wood: Of course we wish Lexus the best wherever he goes from here but one thing is for sure…tonight is the last time we will see Lexus on MMP television. So now Mr. Beumont will in fact be in the main event tonight, teaming with Psychotic Sam to challenge Aries and Hades for the MMP tag team championship. Our next contest features two of the newcomers to the MMP, two men looking to take the first steps towards what they hope will be long and prosperous careers. We have seen what Glycerine can do, as he has earned not one but two victories over a top opponent in Benjamin Childs in his early days here in the MMP. His opponent, The Punisher, is a man we haven’t seen in action as of yet in the MMP, and we have no idea what to expect from this man. We’re about to find out, though, as we send it back to the ring.

GLYCERINE vs. THE PUNISHER

The Punisher was introduced first and he came down to the ring riding his motorcycle, with his valet Heavenly hanging on behind him. As he stepped through the ropes for his first MMP match Glycerine and Vanessa were introduced, and Punisher was more than ready for his opponent. As soon as Glycerine was up on the apron and stepping through the ropes Punisher was on him, hammering Glycerine with right hands as he entered the ring. Punisher pulled Glycerine the rest of the way in and whipped him off the far side ropes, but his attempt at a clothesline was ducked. Glycerine continued into the ropes again and as he rebounded he caught Punisher with a clothesline of his own, taking the rookie off his feet. Punisher tried to roll away but Glycerine wouldn’t let him, quickly pulling the man up and delivering a snap suplex before applying an STF. Unfortunately for Glycerine, though, Punisher was right near the ropes when he applied the hold, and it was easy for the newcomer to reach out and grab the bottom strand, forcing the referee to order a break. Glycerine, not wanting to risk a disqualification, let go of the hold right away, and Punisher slid outside looking for a chance to regroup. He didn’t get the time he was looking for, though, as Glycerine was right on his tail, following Punisher right out to the floor. Punisher stopped the man with a thumb to the eye before he could get any offense in, and Heavenly jumped up onto the apron to distract the referee. While this was going on, out on the floor Punisher had grabbed a steel chair away from the timekeeper, and he walked right over and slammed the chair across the back of his opponent, delivering a pair of shots with the chair before rolling Glycerine back into the ring. Once back inside Punisher pulled Glycerine to his feet and whipped him across the ring, sending him into the far corner. Glycerine hit hard against the turnbuckle, and Punisher followed right in with a running clothesline, crunching Glycerine back into the corner once again. Glycerine slumped forward but Punisher held him up, not letting him collapse to the canvas. Instead he hoisted Glycerine up and set him on the top rope, in position for a superplex. Punisher climbed up and connected with the superplex, taking the wind right out of his opponent. He went for a quick cover, but Glycerine was able to kick out after only a count of two. Undaunted Punisher pulled Glycerine up and delivered a backbreaker before going for another cover, but again Glycerine was able to get a shoulder up before the count of three. Frustrated Punisher jumped out to the floor and picked up the same steel chair he had used earlier, bringing it back into the ring with him. He wound up and prepared to slam it down across Glycerine’s back, but before he could deliver the blow the official stepped in and grabbed the chair, pulling it away from Punisher and tossing it back out to the floor. Punisher confronted the referee, but this only served to distract the official while Heavenly slid into the ring, preparing to nail Glycerine with a low blow. Before she could get her shot in, though, Vanessa came running around the ring and grabbed Heavenly by the ankles and pulled her out to the floor. While the two women fought on the outside Glycerine spun Punisher around and nailed him with a kick to the midsection before whipping him across the ring into the far corner. Punisher hit hard and stumbled out into the arms of Glycerine, who picked the man up and slammed him down with a belly to belly suplex. Punisher slowly got to his feet and charged at Glycerine, but Glycerine caught him coming in with a spinebuster. He then pulled Punisher to his feet and doubled him over before delivering the Ignition right in the center of the ring. Glycerine went for the cover and scored the 1…2…3 to win the match. His celebration was short lived, though, as out of nowhere came Benjamin Childs, running down the aisle and sliding into the ring with a steel chair. He waited for Glycerine to turn around, and when he did Childs nailed the man who had defeated him twice right between the eyes with the chair. Glycerine went down like a ton of bricks, and was left laying in the middle of the ring as Childs made his way to the back and a group of referee’s tried to separate Vanessa and Heavenly on the outside.

Wood: Another victory for Glycerine here in the MMP as he keeps his undefeated streak intact picking up the win here against The Punisher. I must say, Punisher gave Glycerine all he could handle, but in the end it was this mysterious man from San Francisco coming out on top. Glycerine is going to have his hands full as well coming at BattleGround 3, as we learned just earlier today that he will be going one on one with another promising newcomer, the man known as The Train. Coming up next we have the first of two championship matches that we will see here tonight as the television championship will be on the line. Twisted Steel, fresh off his victory over The Destroyer just last weekend, makes his first title defense tonight as he takes on “Die Hard” Dave Williams.

MMP Television Championship Match
TWISTED STEEL (C) vs. “DIE HARD” DAVE WILLIAMS

After “Die Hard” had been introduced Adam Kogler walked out to the ring with “Fucking Hostile” blaring in the background. A shirtless Twisted Steel soon followed, his chest still heavily bandaged from his match with Destroyer the week before. He was also wearing the TV title belt around his waist, which he passed to Kogler, who held the belt high before handing it to the referee. At the bell Steel charged at Williams and took the unsuspecting challenger right down to the canvas with a big boot to the face. He began stomping away on Williams’ back until the referee stepped in and told the champion to let Williams get to his feet. Steel did him one better and pulled the challenger back up, only to whip him off the ropes and catch him coming back with a sidewalk slam. The champion went for a cover, but after a count of two he gave up on going for the pin and instead started hammering down on his opponent with right hands to the face. Again the referee stepped in, this time administering a five count and threatening to disqualify Steel if he didn’t let up. Steel slowly got back to his feet and walked right over to the referee and told him to back off while Williams was recovering behind the champion’s back. While Steel was occupied with the referee Williams charged Steel but Steel saw him coming and backdropped him over the top rope. Steel followed, pulling Williams up and whipping him into the safety rail where he caught Williams with the crazy train running dropkick! Williams collapsed to the floor and Steel pulled him up and sent him back into the ring. Once back inside Steel went to work stomping his opponent once again before pulling him to his feet and applying a full nelson. The champion yelled some obscenities at the fans before lifting Williams up and delivering the Living End! He went for the cover and scored the 1…2…Steel lifted Williams up off the canvas just before the three. The referee scolded Steel for his actions, but Steel swatted at him, backing the referee away. He then reached down and grabbed one of Williams’ legs and applied the Dirty Deed half crab. Williams didn’t last long before tapping out, giving the match to Steel. The champion, though, didn’t release the hold after the bell. It wasn’t until the ref threatened to reverse his decision that Steel let go and Kogler slid into the ring, with mic in hand, to pass Steel his title belt.

Kogler: "Midwestern Mayhem Promotion, I sincerely hope you're happy. En route to winning the Television Title, Twisted Steel was quite honestly taking it easy. But all you half-ass idiot wrestlers like Ryno, Shag-Nasty, Peters, Destroyer and so on have finally begun to bother him. It bothers me as well, but also gives me a sense of ... vindication. I revel in the fact that the man no one thought could make it has dominated the entire roster since his arrival! I take great pride in seeing Steel take the best the MMP has to offer. I will enjoy watching Steel humiliate each and every one of you so-called "Champions" in the back. And it's almost sexual to see the man that I manage stick it up each and every one of the fans asses! Look at this pathetic heap beneath us. Dave Williams did nothing to deserve the beating he got tonight, nonetheless he was made an example. Anyone that tries to take the Television Title will suffer a similar fate. Likewise, anybody that stands in our way will also be dominated. I said it before, and I'll say it again: the MMP is ours! You will ALL ... feel the Steel!"

As Kogler was finishing his rant, Shannon Shag-Nasty started making his way down to the ring. He came running down the aisle and slid into the ring, going right after Twisted Steel. The two men traded blows back and forth while Kogler stood back in the corner cheering Steel on. While this was going on, though, The Ryno came to the ring through the crowd. Occupied with Shag-Nasty, Steel never saw Ryno slide into the ring behind Kogler, who Ryno grabbed by the back of the neck, drawing a loud reaction from the fans. He tossed Kogler over the top rope to the floor, and then followed him out and slammed the reporter head first into the steel ring post. As a group of referee’s came out to break up Steel and Shag-Nasty in the ring Ryno pulled Kogler up on the outside and delivered the Ryno Charge, slamming Kogler down through Wood and Brewer’s announce table!! By this time Steel saw what was going on and came out after Ryno, but Ryno made his exit through the crowd, leaving the TV champ to check on his injured manager.

Wood: Twisted Steel retains the television championship here tonight, but perhaps the bigger story is lying right here at our feet, Ray. The announce position is a shambles, and it’s all because of a Ryno Charge that sent Adam Kogler for the ride right through our table!

Brewer: Hahahahaha!! I wonder how Kogler likes that! His buddy Steel wasn’t here to protect him tonight, Shannon Shag-Nasty took care of that, and what happens? They have to cart his broken body back to the dressing room on a stretcher. You know, Wood, I think a 12-year-old schoolgirl would have put up a better fight than Kogler did tonight. This is great, it’s about time someone put that snot-nosed punk in his place. Ryno, my hat’s off to you!

Wood: Your sentiments are shared by a lot of people here in the MMP Coliseum, Ray. If Ryno wasn’t already a fan favorite he certainly cemented his place in the hearts of the audience with that one powerbomb. So as we attempt to make due with nothing but our headsets, it’s time to go back to the ring for our main event. The tag team championship is on the line. Aries and Hades are set to make their first title defense against the Family duo of Psychotic Sam and Mr. Beumont!

MMP Tag Team Championship Match
ARIES & HADES (C) vs. PSYCHOTIC SAM & MR. BEUMONT

The champions made their way down to the ring first, accompanied by Baital and Nashira. Sam and Beumont soon followed with Havoc, with Sam still campaigning to the fans seated along the aisle. The would-be “King of Spain” climbed into the ring and opened the match with Hades, trading punches back and forth with the less experienced member of the championship team and eventually gaining the upper hand, backing Hades into the ropes. Sam caught Hades coming back with a flying bodypress and went for a quick pin, but Hades kicked out after only a two count. He started pulling Hades up but Hades caught Sam with a punch to the midsection that briefly backed Sam away. Hades tried to make it over to the corner to make a tag, but before he could get over to Aries Sam jumped up on the man’s back and dug his teeth down into Hades’ shoulder. Hades tried to shake Sam loose and finally gave up and rammed Sam back into the turnbuckle, dropping Sam in the champions’ corner and enabling himself to make the tag to Aries. Aries stepped over the top rope and grabbed Sam by the throat, hoisting him high in the air and tossing him across the ring. Sam shot back to his feet and charged at Aries, but the big man caught Sam coming in with a big boot to the face, knocking him right back to the canvas. Sam tried to get back to his feet, but instead just crawled over to his corner and tagged in Mr. Beumont. Beumont confidently walked right up to Aries and warned Aries that if he didn’t watch it Beumont would put him into retirement just like he did to Lexus. Aries responded simply by kicking Beumont in the midsection and delivering the Godly Drop! He immediately went for the pin but before the ref could make the three count Sam ran in and broke up the pin. Hades came in to cut Sam off, tossing the former world champion to the mat by the hair. As the ref ushered Sam to the outside Hades took over for his brother, stomping Mr. Beumont into the mat. With the ref’s back turned Havoc slid into the ring and applied the Hand of God – his finishing hold when he wrestled as The Saint – on Hades, driving him down into the mat. Aries soon saw what was going on, though, and interrupted the hold, hammering Havoc from behind with a forearm and tossing him over the top rope to the floor where Baital began to stomp away on the former midwestern and extreme champion as Hades crawled to his corner. A group of referees soon came down to back Baital away, but Havoc was in rough shape nonetheless. Beumont, in the meantime, managed to crawl over to the corner and make the tag to Sam, who came running back in and took Aries down with a dropkick. He then nailed Aries with an elbowdrop and started to apply a sharpshooter, but Aries kicked out, sending Sam into the ropes. Sam bounced off the ropes and caught Aries with another flying bodypress and attempted pin, but again Aries was able to kick out. As Aries started back to his feet Sam jumped on the big man’s back and started digging his fingers into Aries’ eyes, blinding the big man as he stumbled around the ring. As this was going on Mike the Giant Retard came down to the ring holding Marbels, proclaiming “Marbels is King!” Seeing this Sam jumped down of off Aries’ back, tagged in Beumont, and jumped down to the floor, demanding an explanation of how Marbels won the election. Back in the ring, Mr. Beumont was at the mercy of the tag team champions. He tried threatening Aries again but the “Beast from Greece” simply grabbed the transient and delivered another Godly Drop! He covered Beumont with one foot and got the 1…2…3. As the final bell was sounding, Virus Richards and Harbinger made their way down to ringside. Virus told Sam not to blame Havoc or Mike, but that it was Aries and the Greeks who had fixed the election, causing Marbels to defeat Sam. Sam was irate! He ran back into the ring, grabbed Hades, and slammed him face first into the canvas. Aries and Baital came to Hades’ aid, but then Virus, Harbinger, Mike, and Havoc all got in the ring and a wild brawl ensued! Another group of officials came out to try and break it up as the scene fades to black.

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