Computer terms in Newfoundland:

Log on - Make the wood stove hotter

Log off - Don't add no more wood

Monitor - Watch the wood stove

Download - Take the wood off the truck

Floppy disk - What you get from trying to

carry too much wood

Ram - The Dodge truck that brings the wood

Hard Drive - Getting home in the winter

Prompt - What the mail ain't in the winter

Windows - How you see out

Screen - Keeps the flies out

Byte - What the flies do

Bit - What the flies did

Mega Byte - What the BIG flies do

Chip - Munchies when monitoring

Micro Chip - What's left in your lap after you

eat the chips

Modem - What you did to the hay fields

Dot Matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife

Lap Top - Where the kitty sleeps

Lap Top - Those dumb little plastic knives

and forks they give you at take-outs

Hardware - REAL knives and forks

Mouse - What eats the grain in the barn

Main Frame - What holds the barn up

Enter - Mainland talk for "come on in bye!!!"

Web - What a spider makes

Web Site - Where the spider makes it

Cursor - Someone who swears a lot

Search Engine - What you do when the car

dies

User - Buddy next door who always borrows

your stuff

Browser - What they call you when your

eyebrows grow together

On Line - Laundry hung out

Off Line - Clothesline broke - laundry on

ground