Clyde and Claude were enjoying a brew at their favorite watering hole.

Said Clyde to Claude, "Marg's birthday is Monday Claude me son, and I'm at me wits end tryin' to figure out what to get fer 'er."

Claude suggested candy.

"No, bye, she's on a diet. She'd clout me up side o' da 'ead if I brought 'er any kind of candy," sais Clyde.

"Hmmmm," said Claude, the refined one of the two. "Fur. Women love fur."

"Geez bye," responded Clyde, "I'm only drawin' me pogie. The only fur I could afford is moose, and I don't tink she'd go fer dat!!"

"Its been said, Clyde my friend," mused Claude, "that diamonds are a girls best friend. You can't go wrong with a diamond ring."

"If I can get one fer under twenty bucks," replied Clyde.

Claude thought for a moment. "I have it!!! I have it!!!!" he said. "I know what you can give Marg for her birthday!!! Give her a hand written certificate entitling her to thirty minutes of attention, passion, lovemaking, whatever she wants, and however she wants it. I promise you, she'll love it!!!! Its caring. Its romantic. Women really go for that sort of thing."

Clyde thought for a moment, and decided it was a good idea, and he would give it a try.

On Tuesday, the day after Marg's birthday, Clyde and Claude met again for a few Blue Stars.

"Well," said Claude, "Did you giver her the certificate?"

"Yes I gave it to her," said Clyde.

"And, what did she say?" asked Claude excitedly.

"Her eyes lit up. She hugged me," said Clyde. "My son, she was really excited. Then she ran out the door and said 'see you in a half-hour Clyde.'"