FBSFC History

The Ancient Order of FBSFC was founded in 1347 by brother Hamish Adolph Fitzmartin at a monastery near Antwerp, Belgium. Originally the club was setup to play a new game called "futsal" in order to raise money for families of the victims of the Black Plague...only problem was that all of the families died also. FBSFC kept all of the money raised and eventually became the largest and richest club in the world (they still hold that title, by the way).

The game has gradually evolved over the centuries and FBSFC have been at the centre of some of the major innovations - look back at a timeline of FBSFC history:

*1299 - Hamish Adolph Fitzmartin is born of Scotch-Irish/German parents..(mother German prostitute named Greta)

*1347 - Hamish Adolph Fitzmartin forms the first FBSFC side

*1349- By this time the Black Plague had a firm hold throughout Europe - thus the central back position was called the "Rat" or "Carrier of the Plague"..this has evolved to a point were the main central defender on FBSFC must be called "Rattray"..that's how Mark Rattray got the job. It's also funny how today's version of FBSFC avoid the ball like "The Plague".

*1643 - Brother Ian Mangoious invented the "Overhead Kick" ... unfortunately this move has seemed to have devolved with the current squad into the "Flamingo" kick (the art of completely missing the ball). Made famous by Ian "Mango" Richardson.

*1699 - FBSFC kicked out of Antwerp for good - make home in Dresden, Germany.

*1700 - Belgianize Liberation Army (BLA) founded. FBSFC fight for reinstatement in Antwerp and formation of a city state called FBSF City. Team believes this is the only way to make FBSFC an international side.

*1776 - Goalkeeper Don Clendenning joins the club.

*1926 - FBSFC lose all games at the "trial" World Cup. FIFA did not sanction this event so FBSFC do not go down in the record books as "World Cup Participants" -  but we still think it was a great achievement. Note: FBSFC did not get an invitation to the "inaugural" World Cup in 1930 - bastards.(BLA still fighting hard for independence).

*1987 - FBSFC Global Head Office opened in Zurich

*1988 - FBSFC Global Human Resources compound founded in Dresden, Germany

*1990 - Native Belgian, Percival Adolph Ayyvill named Global President of FBSFC International.

*1999 - Don Adolph Clendenning helps form Canadian Chapter of FBSFC. Side is formed to commemorate the 700th anniversary of Hamish Adolph Fizmartin's birth - uniform the traditional black of the "Black Plague" (and we found it very slimming).

*1999 - team finished year with a record of   0 wins and 20 losses.

*2000 - New Board of Directors appointed for Canada (see below)

*2000 - New uniforms purchased (a new beginning)

*2000 - FBSFC win first ever game of organized soccer after 653 years without a victory. Club unbelievably make it to the final - but lose 4-0.

*2001 - back to reality as FBSFC are 1win and 6 losses and may not make the playoffs.

Current Canadian Board Of Directors:

Sean "little big belly" Rice - Chairman: Sean has been with the club since 1999 and is the first recipient of the "FBSFC Purple Heart Medal" for breaking his leg in the line of duty late in the 1999 season. He has since recovered and has a "built in" excuse for his poor play. Unfortunately for him we've seen him play before the injury and it's very sad.

Favorite Quote: "I was clipped from behind and did not trip over the ball when I broke my leg - bastards"

Mark "skipper" Rattray - Dir. Marketing & Catering: Mark is the Iron Man of the club who apparently plays extended shifts on the pitch..although no one actually remembers him playing. Noted for a recent run of "hand balls" in our box. Mark has also had his share of injuries and wears braces on every body join while playing - also known as the "tin man" or "Andy Capp". Mark also has  more caps for FBSFC than any other player.

Favorite Quote: "Just like Newcastle - we keep losing due to injuries"

Ian "Mango" Richardson - Dir.Financial Planning: Ian's defending can be described as "wonky" at best. He has a penchant for giving away penalties and is FBSFC's all time "own goal" leader. As the originator of the Fine System Ian has helped created a financially viable club and is a weekly contributor to our web site.  This season his play has improved  - and as a highlight stole Stevvie's "Magic" status at one point during the year.

Favorite Quote: "That's a fine"

"Magic" Steevie Sexton - Team Ombudsman: Oooh the conundrum that is Stevie..he can be "magic" on the pitch or give the ball away like Regis Philbin gives away prize money....very often. Stevie has unwavering dedication to the club shown by playing a game after a night shift (staying up 20 hours). His bachelor lifestyle definitely hampers his play and the club.

Favorite Quote:"Ooops, sorry about that"

Brian "Go-Go Gadget Legs" Warren - Dir. Team Fitness: Oooh the bloopers. Brian is one of our most competitive players (his shirt pulling is legendary) and certainly gives it his all on the pitch. However, that one track thinking can get our friend Brian into some hairy situations..and he just doesn't get himself out of them gracefully.

Favorite Quote: "get that camera out of my face"

Don "Pint Bitch" Clendenning - Snr. Player Rep./Pension Officer: Don is the heart and soul of FBSFC - his long service is admired and his fitness is inspiring..Don thanks his "Veggie Juicer" for his long life and hopes to play a couple of more years before joining the rest of the snowbirds in Florida.

Favorite Quote: "I can whistle with my teeth out"

International FBSFC Officers:

Percival Adoph Ayyvill - FBSFC C.E.O.

The rest of your International FBSFC Board