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NASCAR Wastes Time, Cars

After about 80 cautions and 100 laps of boredom, Jeff Gordon won NASCAR's stupidest race. Big deal. I told you he would win, and he did. I can't believe NASCAR even races at this track. I have nothing to say about this race, except that I now have an eternal hatred of Nemewreck for knocking Bobby out of the race. I know, people say Bobby caused it. But what really happened is that Bobby was putting a move on Nemechek, and as everyone in the history of this stupid race has done, TT was going to the inside of Nemechek. In his infinite wreckitude, Nemecrash decided he would move hard to the inside instead of scooting outside. Bobby had to hit the wall to avoid contact with the chucklehead, and the rest writes itself.

There wasn't even any controversy in the comments. Everyone agreed that golf is more boring than a Bill Moyers interview, and everyone said that the golfer whose wife was pregnant should leave the tournament if she went into labor. You're partly right, but only Sharon got it totally right. The jerk should never have been away from his wife if she was anywhere near going into labor. I don't know where his wife was being treated, but it couldn't have been anywhere near Pinhurst. His decision to whack a little ball all day instead of ensure his presence at one of life's more important events makes him a grade A bonehead. Just goes to show you what golfers are all about.

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