1. Jeff Gordon

2. Jeff Burton

3. Bobby Labonte

4. Tony Stewart

5. Dale Jarrett

The race last Sunday at the California Speedway was the first boring race of the year. It was exciting at first, when Texas Thunder Bobby Labonte lead for a few blazing laps, but then it settled into a remarkably boring pattern: some dude, first name Jeff, would get out to an insurmountable lead for about 50 laps, then another dude, first name Jeff, would get out to an insurmountable lead. Believe it or not, Jeff Gordon won with an insurmountable lead. The other Jeff was behind him.

The real action was back in fourth place. I said Tony Stewart would pull a Waltrip this race, but instead he battled through adversity and locked up fourth place. In case you were wondering, Stewart is now sixth in the standings. If he finishes the season in this position, it'll be the highest finishing spot for a rookie ever. This guy is the real deal, folks.

Wait a second, the REAL action was all about Jeff Burton. I haven't given him the credit he deserves this year. Last week at Talladega and this week in Crapifornia Burton has come from the back of the pack to become a serious contender. He's already won two races, and he shows no signs of fizzling out a la Mike "Don't laugh at me, I was once like you" Skinner. Short track, superspeedway, restrictor plate, this fellow can race.

Once again our boys Ernie "Mr. Collectible" Irvan and Joe "We had a great car" Nemechek found themselves in trouble. First is was Joe Nemewreck finding the tail end of Ricky Rudd's wreck. And I mean the tail end of the tail end. Rudd got loose and found himself in commune with the outer wall, then he drifted down to the infield. The caution came out, the announcers started talking about stuff, everyone pitted and got back out in position, they took a commercial break, Benny Parsons drank a coke, Richard Petty signed 50 autographs, and then, out of nowhere, Nemecrash was behind the wall. Somehow he had managed to find some oil dropped by Rudd. I guess people are so used to seeing Nemejunk in trouble that they don't really notice it, sort of like how drivers slip in the names of their sponsors during interviews. "Well, it's a sunny day here in California. The track is dry, Nemechek has spun out on the grass and collected an RV, and the temperature is moderate. Let's have some great racing!"

The amazing thing about Joe is what he says in the post-crash interview. "Yeah, we had a great car. We were just making a run towards the front when somebody who is not me caused me to wreck." According to Joe Joe, he's got the greatest car in the world. He's got some sort of cyborg car that can all but travel through time. It's just those pesky wrecks that other people get him into that keep him from dominating every race.

And then there's Ernie "Get my favorite stretcher ready" Irvan. This guy used to be a legitimate driver. He's won a few times, believe it or not. But this year he is everywhere but on the lead lap. Like Nemewreck, he just can't seem to stay out of trouble. And unlike Death Row Joe, Irvan usually manages to smash up some other cars in his wrecks. I think he and the M&M's team have a scorched earth policy: If Ernie's not going to finish first, then by golly, no one else should even finish the race! My guess he's got an eject button up under his dash, only this button doesn't eject him out through the roof. This button dumps all the innards of the car onto the track. He hit that button Sunday, spewing oil and tire rubber and debris all over the track, but no one fell for it. (Joe Wreckechek was still behind the wall, getting repairs done on his bionic super car.)

I've got to ask y'all, what's the deal with these two? Are they cosmically cursed? Are there hidden forces at work here? Could it be that NASCAR wants them to crash to add to the excitement? Their sponsors must love it, because a dude who finishes in 23rd place gets no press, but a guy who doesn't even finish the race because he wrecked gets all sorts of interview time.

That Peninsula Club thing may lock it up for Burton. Any other Burton likers out there? Nathan:

Wow, that's a lot of Burton votes. But Nathan likes another fellow, too. Let's hear about that:

Alright, one for Martin. Let's hear from Ryan, also known as Mr. Prosaic:

Looks like Ryan has the opposite problem Sean had last week. Now check out Chris's stance:

Once again, Chris has summed up my feelings pretty closely (especially the Joe joke.) It'll be interesting to see how Chris's theory plays out. We'll have more discussion on it as the season progresses. Let's hear a last comment from Duncan:

Duncan makes a good point about Jarrett. He's been close several times. I could just be a matter of having those last pieces fall into place. Finally, let's hear from my brother, Guy. He hasn't contributed too much to the comments this year, but he's making an effort:

Sounds like he's been hanging out with Ryan or something. So it's a nice fat tie between Burton and Martin, with a vote going to Jarrett and a vote going to King Homer. You're all wrong. The correct answer is: Texas Thunder Bobby Labonte.

As the points race has heated up here at NASCAR's pointiest web site, the comments have become more and more controversial. (By "controversial" I mean petty. By "petty" I mean the one in the dictionary, not the driver.) As Nathan has become Jeff Burton to Sean's Jeff Gordon, many of you have turned your ire from Sean "Where have all the flowers gone?" F. to Nathan "When 700 years you reach, look as good you will not" S. As usual, the strongest and most controversial words came from that pugilistic southpaw Tim "See my vest" S.:

Hmmm . . . is that "spitting" simile from Christopher Marlowe? Sean also mixed it up with Nathan this week. It's one of the few times Sean has seen fit to talk trash. Is he on the attack now, or is he getting nervous? You decide:

Man, that's quite a tour de force from our reigning champion. He gets in some ugly words, like "rear deck" and "Earnhardt," and he even gets in a Star Wars jab. And perhaps the greatest insult, Sean shows Nathan how little he thinks of him by not even spelling out "because." Them's fightin' words! What he says is especially charged, seeing as how Nathan has actually pulled up alongside of him in the points. Could Nathan be trying the patented Earnhardt slingshot move, where he sucks up to the leader by using the draft and then blows right by him?

Does Nathan have a response to all this squawking? He sure does:

Wow. Nathan's words are especially stinging when you consider that this week, just like last week, he scored way more points than anyone else, and he is now tied for first place in the overall points.

You sure do, Neil. You sure do. It's the American way.

As I said, Nathan scored another huge victory in the points race this week. Check out the numbers.

Can you believe Nathan caught up to Sean? And check out the shifts in positions five through ten.