1998 Week 9 Newsletter
This week’s stooge: PMS scored 25 points to bring up the rear in the league for the week.
What's inside:
Letter from the Commish:
Before the Commish forgets, we wish to draw your attention to the email addresses listed above. You’ll note, with some chuckling we hope, the absence of an address for Coach Will. Wait a minute-how can that be? Didn’t he just get connected last week? Well, yes, he did. As with so much else in Coach Will’s life these days, nothing is as it seems. Let’s see…he’s gone through four phone numbers (the newest one listed above). Now his wife has forbidden our lovable Grande from using the internet so she canceled the service. Fear not, though. Coach claims he’ll fight for his right to email and get signed back up to a provider. We can hardly wait for his next re-incarnation.
All hail to the Howe division! In Week 8, all four Howe division teams were winners. Want some more? The four Howe teams were the top four scoring teams in the league for the week. They have the top four Power Rankings. The Swords are carrying a six game winning streak into Week 10. Grande To The Party is carrying a three game winning streak into Week 10. The Retreads are carrying a two game winning streak into Week 10. Those are the three longest winning streaks running at the moment. The Howe teams comprise four of the six teams who have given up the most points thus far in ’98. Even at that, they continue to score so many points so consistently that the normal 30-35 points by their opponents hasn’t been enough to walk away with a victory. Their combined record for the season is 25-10-1 and six of those 10 losses are within their division. Now, here’s the best part. Since only the three division winners plus one wildcard team makes the playoffs, one or more very fine teams will be left out in the cold this year. That’s a marked contrast from the ’97 season when the wildcard team, the Crawling King Snakes, went 8-7 and wound up winning the title and one division winner was even 7-8. The 1998 season is the Bizarro season. Everything is the opposite of 1997. PMS and the Natural Mystics have gone from #1 & #2 to #11 and #12. The same division with four sub-.500 teams last season is the same division that can’t lose a game in ’98. The NFC Norris is playing better ball as the year progresses rather than worse ball as was the case in both ’96 and ’97. Lest anyone forget, however, last year’s top two ranked teams were each bounced in the 1st round of the playoffs, leaving a championship that conjured images of the Poulen Weedeater Independence Bowl, with the likes of an 8-7 Crawling King Snake team versus a 7-8 Grande To The Party. So, to you teams out there muddling along at .500, just win your division, baby. Then it’s a new season.
Go deep, I’ll throw it!
-The Commish
Stop here for reminders:
Transactions:
Retreads waive D Vikings; add TE Eric Green
Natural Mystics waive WR Bill Schroeder; add QB Charlie Batch
King of Dogs waive RB Amp Lee; add QB Dan Marino
Grande To The Party waive WR Derrick Mayes; add QB Ty Detmer
Johnson Sets Scoring Record In Grande Win
Behind Charles Johnson’s all time single game scoring record of 24 points, Grande To The Party defeated PMS 55-25 in Week 9 action. Johnson’s record breaks the old record of 21 set twice, by Jerry Rice in the 1995 playoffs and Eddie Kennisonn in the 1996 playoffs. The victory prevented Coach Will from having to eat crow after having bashed the broads in e-mail statements during the week leading up to kickoff. The Party was aided by Deion Sanders’ punt return for a TD and a Cowboy shutout. Steve Young also had 10 points. PMS was led by 3 TD passes from Doug Flutie and 9 points from K Mike Hollis. Johnny Morton and Wayne Chrebet had 100 yard games. PMS drops to 3-6 while the Party improves to 7-2 and plays a "big" game this week against Palace of Swords. Wait…did someone say "big" game? We all know what that means. Stay tuned.
Grande To The Party 55 25 PMS
S Young 10 QB 12 Flutie
C Martin 00 RB 00 Bettis
E George 08 RB 00 W Floyd
K Johnson 00 WR 02 J Morton
C Johnson 24 WR 02 Chrebet
Chmura 00 TE 00 D Moore
Stokes 00 U 00 Jett
Vinatieri 03 K 09 Hollis
Cowboys 10 D 00 Patriots
Retreads’ Running Attack Drives Over Highways
The Retreads rode the late scoring flurry of Terrell Davis to a 53-41 victory over the Strange Highways. Davis entered the 4th quarter of his game against the Bengals scoreless but posted 14 points in the last 15 minutes. Fellow RB Fred Taylor tallied 12 points of his own for the Retreads. Balanced scoring was contributed by Drew Bledsoe (10). Mushin Muhammad made only his 2nd start of the season for the Retreads and scored once again as did mid season TE pickup Cam Cleeland. The Highways were led by Brett Favre’s 12, Jason Hansen’s 9 and Fred Lane’s 8. The Retreads up their record to 7-2 and remain ½ game behind the Howe division leading Swords while the Highways fall to 5-4 and see their Cheatem division lead drop to one game.
Retreads 53 41 Strange Highways
Bledsoe 10 QB 12 Favre
T Davis 14 RB 00 Staley
Taylor 12 RB 08 Lane
McCardell 00 WR 06 Rice
Muhammad 06 WR 00 Galloway
Cleeland 06 TE 06 Dudley
Warren 00 U 00 Poole
Stoyanovich 05 K 09 Hansen
Seahawks 00 D 00 Buccaneers
Jamal Anderson Stars In Norris Win Over Boners
Jamal Anderson’s 20 points and 22 carries for 172 yards carried the NFC Norris to a 48-39 victory over the hard luck Bone Club. The Norris backfield accounted for 28 points in all while QB Jake Plummer threw 2 TD passes for the Norris. The Bone Club (2-6-1) , losers of five in a row, were led by QB Steve Beuerlein’s 8 points and single TDs from RBs Tommy Vardell and Rickey Watters. K Jason Elam added another 9 points. The Norris win allowed them to remain 3 ½ games behind in the Howe division. But every week the rest of the season is a playoff game for the Norris if they hope to any chance of catching the three Howe frontrunners. The Norris will begin their quest in Week 10 with a matchup against the division rival Retreads. A win, along with knowing one other division team will lose in Week 10 could get the Norris within 2 ½ games of the lead with five games left. It would still be an uphill struggle.
NFC Norris 48 39 Bone Club
Plummer 08 QB 08 Beuerlein
J Anderson 20 RB 06 Vardell
Dillon 02 RB 06 Watters
Harrison 00 WR 02 Pickens
T Brown 06 WR 00 C Carter
Drayton 00 TE 00 Glover
R Edwards 06 U 08 McCaffrey
G Anderson 06 K 09 Elam
Broncos 00 D 00 Chiefs
Methodical Swords Win 61-31 For Sixth Straight
The Palace had high points in the league this week, 61, while continuing to run like a well oiled machine in their 61-31 drubbing of the 1-8 Natural Mystics. The Mystics finally found some offense in Week 9 but, once they did, they gave up their highest point total of the season. The Packer D continued to score for the Swords as they have on an almost weekly basis. Antonio Freeman led the way for the Swords with 14 points as they improved to 7-1-1- and won their 6th in a row. The Mystics, losers of 7 straight (an all-time franchise high), were led by QB Neal O’Donnell’s 13 points and Emmitt Smith’s 8. The Swords can go a long ways toward wrapping up a spot in the playoffs next week if they can defeat Grande To The Party for a 2nd time in ’98. It would give them a 1 ½ game cushion over the Party with five to play. The Mystics will try to right the ship against the Stanley Steamers in Week 10.
Palace of Swords 61 31 Natural Mystics
Cunningham 08 QB 13 O’Donnell
Holmes 00 RB 08 E Smith
D Bennett 06 RB 00 Kaufman Martin 06 WR 00 R Smith
Freeman 14 WR 00 Rison
Coates 08 TE 00 I Smith
J Lewis 06 U 06 Ismail Del Greco 11 K 04 Peterson
Packers 02 D 00 Ravens
Steamers End Dogs Win Streak To Close Within 1
A drunk Coach Rady phoned in his lineup at 3:00am Sunday morning and it showed as his starting backfield of Charlie Garner and Adrian Murrell (DNP) tried to fight through the Cowboy front four and did not play, respectively. The Dogs found themselves on the short end of a 35-29 stick, breaking their three game winning streak. Of course, they were on borrowed time to begin with. Coach Stamer took advantage of the situation to draw his team within one game of the Highways in the Cheatem division despite the fact that, for his part, he didn’t even phone ANY lineup in. He opted instead to go with his Week 8 lineup which included TE Freddie Jones, he of the Week 9 bye. Yet, it worked as the Steamers got 8 points from both Marc Brunell and Mike Alstott and a TD for the 2nd week in a row from Robert Brooks. The Dogs were led by Kordell Stewart’s 9 points (before he was benched in the 2nd half) and 8 points each from the Cardinal bookends Rob Moore and Frank Sanders (we’d like to see that happen again). The Dogs’ loss drops them to 4-5, one game back. They lost an opportunity to tie the Iguanas for the Dewey division lead. The Steamers, 4-5, close within one game of the Highways, losers of four of five.
King of Dogs 29 35 Stanley Steamers
Stewart 09 QB 08 Brunell
Garner 00 RB 06 Hearst
Murrell 00 RB 08 Alstott
R Moore 08 WR 00 H Moore
T Owens 00 WR 06 R Brooks
Sharpe 00 TE 00 F Jones
F Sanders 08 U 00 Bruce
Richey 04 K 01 Stover
Steelers 00 D 06 Panthers
Revenge Runs Over Iguanas; Flattens Them 36-30
Montezuma’s Revenge finally got the rushing attack that had been expected of them all season and defeated the Greenback Iguanas 36-30. The win by the Revenge (4-5) pulls them within a single game of the slumping Strange Highways while the Iguanas (5-4) were fortunate in that the King of Dogs also lost in Week 9, allowing them to maintain their one game edge. John Elway and Warrick Dunn each led the way for the Revenge with 8 points apiece. The Iguanas’ Ryan Longwell had 10 while Jimmy Smith and Kyle Brady had one TD each.
Montezuma’s Revenge 36 30 Greenback Iguanas
Elway 08 QB 04 Testaverde
R Smith 06 RB 02 Sanders
Dunn 08 RB 02 Faulk
Dawkins 02 WR 06 J Smith
Moss 00 WR 00 Westbrook
McGee 00 TE 06 Brady
Jervey 06 U 00 A Smith
Pelfrey 06 K 10 Longwell
49ers 00 D 00 Falcons
This week’s additions to the FFL Record Book:
Swami Sez:
The Swami went 5-1 in Week 9 to up his mark to 36-17-1 on the season. He correctly predicted that Jamal Anderson would be the difference for the Norris against the Bone Club last week. What can he pull out of his hat this time? Here goes for Week 10:
King of Dogs (4-5) vs. Bone Club (2-6-1)
Power Ranking: King of Dogs 9; Bone Club 7
Let’s face it. Neither of these teams will see the light of Week 16. However, there’s one major difference between them. Coach Young’s squad is littered with big play types while the King of Doggy Style is just plain littered. The one thing going Coach Rady’s way is that his Arizona Cardinal-laden team is pitted against the Redskins in Week 10. The Club has been snakebit by close losses the past two weeks. The Swami sees the worm turning for the Clubheads in Week 10.
Greenback Iguanas (5-4) vs. PMS (3-6)
Power Ranking: Greenback Iguanas 6; PMS 10
Ho hum. This game has all the appeal of Square Dancing convention in Compton. Assuming the real Iguanas show up, they should be able to handle PMS. Barring that, PMS could be ripe (there’s a picture) to pull off the upset. If Flutie and Testaverde are the starting QBs, they’ll be facing each other for real also. But the Swami sees Barry Sanders, one of his all time favorite players to watch, as being the difference here. Don’t think Red. Think Green.
Strange Highways (5-4) vs. Montezuma’s Revenge (4-5)
Power Ranking: Strange Highways 5; Montezuma’s Revenge 8
The Highways need Brett Favre to play big week to week in order to stay close to the elite teams in the league. This week Favre plays against the Steelers-on MNF. Actually, the Steelers have proven to be vulnerable through the air. If Favre gets protection, he could toss his usual 2-3 TD passes. Coach Widtfeldt has other favorable matchups in Jerry Rice and Eric Moulds. Ah, but the running game continues to be the Highways’ nemesis. As for the Revenge, neither Terry Allen nor Travis Jervey will be factors. They’ll need Warrick Dunn (Tenn) and Robert Smith (N.O.) to produce. John Elway has the Chargers at home. While the Swami is tempted to pick an upset here, he just can’t shake the feeling that Robert Smith and Randy Moss have to produce against the Saints for it to happen; and the Saints have been rock solid defensively in ’98. Err on the side of cautiousness and take the Highways-but don’t be surprised.
Natural Mystics (1-8) vs. Stanley Steamers (4-5)
Power Ranking: Natural Mystics 12; Stanley Steamers 11
Ever, if ever, the Mystics are to win a game in ’98, this would seem to be the week. This matches the two teams with the worst power rankings. In theory, it will be the lowest scoring of the day. Brunell, Hearst, Alstott and Herman Moore could all play well this week for the Steamers. There are no matchups for the Mystics that excite the Swami. With that in mind, it’s hard to say no to the Steamers.
NFC Norris (4-5) vs. The Retreads (7-2)
Power Ranking: NFC Norris 4; The Retreads 2
Now for the good stuff. The Norris is already in a must-win situation. The Retreads are hoping to take 1st this week should the Swords lose. The New England-Atlanta game will be pivotal in determining the winner. Should that game be low scoring and a defensive struggle, the Norris can kiss ’98 goodbye. As it is, the Swami does not feel the Norris has the firepower to keep up with the Retreads. Think ’99, Coach Nerz. The Swami likes the Retreads to pound the final nail in the Norris coffin.
Palace of Swords (7-1-1) vs. Grande To The Party (7-2)
Power Ranking: Palace of Swords 3; Grande To The Party 1
This is, without doubt, the game of the week and perhaps the season to date. Color it BIG-as in Grande. But with BIG, we all know what comes along like the evil stepsister for Coach Will. The big L. On paper, the Swami actually sort of likes the Party in Week 10. However, without disecting, without prognosticating, without chalking out the Xs and Os, let it simply be said that the Swami will never, repeat, NEVER, pick Coach Will’s team in a big game until such time as they’ve proven they can win one. And a note to you, Coach Will…even if you do pull off the upset (yes, the Swami said upset), by Week 15 it may not appear to be so big. Food for thought. In the meantime, get on-line dammit.