1998 Week 5 Newsletter

1998 Week 5 Newsletter

Letter from the Commish:

Facts from Week 5:

Brett Favre failed to score for the 1^st time since Week 2 of the 1997 season.
Until this past week when Grande To The Party scored 46 points against them, the Strange Highways had not allowed more than 17 points to a single opponent (12, 17, 8, 16).
Steve Young has averaged almost 16 points per game thus far. He’s tallied 14, 20, 14, and 15 with a bye during Week 3.
Gary Anderson has single handedly led the NFC Norris to two victories already in 1998. His point totals to date are 7, 8, 17 (in a two point win), 7, and 13 (in another two point win).
No K for the Natural Mystics has scored more than 6 points in a game yet in 1998.
The K and the D for the Highways combined for 15 of their 17 points in Week 5.
Adam Vinatieri has scored 3, 12, 9 and 12 thus far for an average of 9.0 ppg.
The Retreads have scored 50+ points in a game three times already and still managed to "eek" out 33 and 46 in their other two games. Look out for this team.

Go deep, I’ll throw it!

-The Commish

Retreads Get Ready For Party With 40 Point Win

The Retreads rebounded from a Week 4 loss to post a 53-13 beating of the Dogs. The Retreads (4-1) picked up Cameron Cleeland and Mushin Muhammad prior to gametime. Both scored, accounting for 14 points. In addition, early season pickup Chris Warren tallied 14 points, bringing the total points scored by true "retreads" to 28 for the week. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times: events such as that usually are good omens for whomever is the lucky recipient. Thus far, 1998 appears as though it’s a Retread year. Moreover, Terrell Davis had 2 TDs and 100 yards rushing-in the 1^st quarter. The King of Mutts managed a whopping 13 points, led by Shannon Sharpe’s TD catch and a TD throw from backup QB Dan Marino. As predicted by the Swami, the Dogs had no ground game while Davis alone would have beaten Coach Rady’s canines. At 1-4, the "get along little" Doggies will face PMS in a battle of last place teams in the Dewey division. The Retreads will square off against Grande To The Party in an important battle for sole possession of 1^st place in the Howe division. Did I say important? By all means then, put your money on the Retreads next week as we all know Coach Will’s team never wins the big game.

The Retreads 53 13 King of Dogs

Bledsoe 06 QB 04 Marino

T Davis 14 RB 00 Murrell

Jabbar 00 RB 00 Avery

T Mathis 00 WR 02 F Sanders

Muhammad 08 WR 00 T Owens

Cleeland 06 TE 06 Sharpe

C Warren 14 U 00 B Engram

Stoyanovich 05 K 01 Richey

Seahawks 00 D 00 Giants

PMS Sees Red; Bursts For 43 Points In 1^st Victory

What a little offense won’t do to cure the 0-4 blues. PMS exploded right through their tampons this week with a huge 43 point effort in defeating the Stanley Steamers to gain their 1^st win on the ’98 season. PMS benched QB Jeff George, going instead with surprise starter Erik Kramer. Kramer rewarded coaches Koll and Meyer with a 14 point performance. Natrone Means and organization favorite Johnny Morton scored 8 points each while John Carney had 7 (including a 50 yard FG) and the defense chipped in with a score of its own. The Steamers started backup QB Chris Chandler. While he did his job (8 points), the starting backfield could only muster 6 points between them and the wideouts were held in check in well. Kicker Michael Husted, resigned this past week, booted 8 points for the Steamers. PMS will meet the King of Dogs next week in an attempt to pull itself out of the cellar. Meanwhile, the Steamers will try to tackle the 4-1 Strange Highways. The Highways are coming off their 1^st loss of the season.

Stanley Steamers 22 43 PMS

Chandler 08 QB 14 Kramer

Hearst 00 RB 00 Floyd

L Smith 06 RB 08 Means

Still 00 WR 08 Morton

H Moore 00 WR 00 Jett

F Jones 00 TE 00 D Moore

R Brooks 00 U 00 A Green

Husted 08 K 07 Carney

Panthers 00 D 06 Patriots

Party Throws Hands In Air And Waves Them 47-17; Ousts Highways From Ranks Of Unbeaten

The Strange Highway dodged bullets a couple times this season already. However, in Week 5, they were unable to dodge a full six shooter as Grande To The Party shot them through the heart by a 46-17 count. The loss was the 1^st on the year for the Highways after reeling off four in a row to start the season and five overall dating back to 1997. The Party’s win kept them tied for 1^st place with the Retreads out in the Howe division and set up a "big" game Coach Will next week against those very Retreads (bet the house on the opponent in a big game versus the Party). Steve Young led the way for the Party with 15 points, Curtis Martin had 8, Keyshawn and J.J. Stokes had 6 each. Adam Vinatieri had another big game kicking, with 12. The Highways got little production. Only Jason Hanson’s 9 points amounted to much. QB Brett Favre was shut out for the 1^st time since Week 2 of the 1997 season. The Bucs’ D had an INT return for a TD. The 4-1 Highways will play the 2-3 Stanley Steamers next week.

Strange Highways 17 47 Grande To The Party

Favre 00 QB 15 S Young

Enis 00 RB 08 C Martin

Staley 00 RB 00 G Brown

Rice 02 WR 06 K Johnson

Galloway 00 WR 06 Stokes

Dudley 00 TE 00 Chmura

Moulds 00 U 00 Mayes

Hanson 09 K 12 Vinatieri

Buccaneers 06 D 00 Cowboys

Swords Stay Close To Leaders In Howe With Win

An explosion occurred Monday night. It wasn’t your typical fire and heat although there were sparks aplenty. For the Palace of Swords, it came in the form of one Randall Cunningham, the Vikings’ backup QB who sat out all of the 1996 NFL season. His arm proved as strong as ever as he threw for 442 yards four TDs in leading the Swords from a 22-20 deficit entering MNF to a convincing 46-28 win over the Greenback Iguanas. The loss was the 2^nd straight for the Iguanas while the Swords kept pace with the leaders in the Howe division. With division games next week, a Swords win will move them into 2^nd place over the loser of the Retreads-Party game. The Iguanas have sputtered a little lately which makes next week’s matchup against the Bone Club an interesting one for both sides. Barry Sanders was shackled for the 2^nd time this year.

Greenback Iguanas 28 45 Palace of Swords

Testaverde 04 QB 19 Cunningham

B Sanders 00 RB 00 Bennett

Faulk 06 RB 00 Way

Westbrook 00 WR 00 Freeman

Calloway 00 WR 06 T Martin

Walls 06 TE 00 Coates

A Smith 06 U 06 M Edwards

Longwell 06 K 08 Hall

Vikings 00 D 06 Packers

Bone Club Gathers No Moss In 29-13 MNF Loss

MNF sat up and reared its ugly head towards Coach Young’s ugly head once again. With visions of last season’s Week 15 crusher of a 43-42 playoff eliminating loss, the Bone Club led Montezuma’s Revenge 11-9 entering the MNF game between the Vikes and Packers. Coach Young’s beloved Vikes trounced the Packers but also trounced his Bone Club in so doing as WR Randy Moss proved to be Flash and Elastic Man all at once, rendering CB Tyrone Williams helpless to stop him en route to a pair of TD catches and 190 yards receiving. Robert Smith tacked on a TD of his own for the Revenge. Cris Carter tried to keep pace for the Club by exceeding 100 yards but he could not find his way to paydirt. It all added up to a much needed win by the Revenge to improve to 2-3 while the Club hoppers missed out on a chance to take the lead in the Dewey division. At 2-2-1, the Bone Club can still take the lead after Week 6 with a win over the Iguanas. The loss was a tough one for the Club, however, as they lost QB Warren Moon with bruised ribs (he’s questionable for Week 6) and RB Rickey Watters (Watters appears healthy for Sunday’s game versus Denver).

Montezuma’a Revenge 29 13 Bone Club

Elway 00 QB 00 Moon

R Smith 06 RB 00 Watters

T Allen 00 RB 00 Anders

Glenn 02 WR 02 C Carter

Moss 14 WR 06 McCaffrey

McGee 00 TE 00 Glover

Dunn 00 U 00 L Thomas

Cunningham 07 K 05 Elam

49ers 00 D 00 Chiefs

MNF Claims Second Victim Of Night in Norris W

The Natural Mystics felt the Bone Club’s pain as well as anyone while watching the Vikings treat the Packers like the Huskers treat most Big 12 opponents. While the Bone Club lost another game due to MNF, the Mystics saw K Gary Anderson account for 13 points as the NFC Norris came back from an 11 points deficit, 33-22, to narrowly defeat the Mystics 35-33. The Vikes did not punt until 4:31 was left in the game. Nor could the Packers muster any type of ball control. The combination proved lethal as Anderson kicked 3 FG and 4 PAT and the Norris once again scored a late MNF victory after having seemingly been on the ropes. The Mystics lost their 4^th running back of the year to injury as Napoleon Kaufman went down with an ankle sprain. Additionally, RB Raymont Harris had his bell rung and left the game for most of the 4^th quarter (not that it would have made a difference). Earlier this year, the Mystics lost Greg Hill for the year, Dorsey Levens was lost until December, and Emmitt Smith injured a groin in Week 3. The 33 points was a season high for Coach Wassem’s team but it proved useless. The 1-4 Mystics meet Montezuma’s Revenge next week while the Norris (2-3) play the Palace of Swords.

Natural Mystics 33 35 NFC Norris

T Green 04 QB 08 Plummer

E Smith 08 RB 06 R Edwards

R Harris 00 RB 08 J Anderson

R Smith 12 WR 00 T Brown

Shepherd 06 WR 00 M Irvin

Gonzalez 00 TE 00 Gedney

Kaufman 00 U 00 M Harrison

Kasay 03 K 13 G Anderson

Cardinals 00 D 00 Broncos

This week’s additions to the FFL Record Book:

Randall Cunningham-19 points ties him for 6^th on the single game list of QBs.
The Retreads-50+ points in a game is the 3^rd time in ’98, tying them for 4^th on the single season list. The record is 7 by Two Turntables & A Microphone in ’96 and the Natural Mystics in ’97.

Swami Sez:

The law of averages caught up to the Swami in Week 5 as he went 2-4 missing out on the Steamers, Mystics, Highways and Iguanas. The Mystics game was in doubt until the last minute while the Iguanas game got into Monday night. Otherwise, it was not pretty. This puts the Swami at 19-10-1 for the season. Dusting off his pants, the Swami is back for more in Week 6:

King of Dogs (1-4) vs. PMS (1-4)

Power Rankings: King of Dogs 11; PMS 10

At the risk of being unkind, who cares about this game anyway? Ok, ok, since it’s the Swami’s job, the Swami will do what he must. PMS is without TE Dave Moore and WR Johnny Morton this week while the Queen of Dogs is at full strength—for what that’s worth. The Schwam thinks the bye week is what the doctor ordered for Kordell Stewart. Look for him to break free for his best game of the season. With that said, one player a team does not make. In other words, while PMS may be 1-4, they’re a better 1-4 than the Dogs. Go with PMS to make it two in a row in Week 6.

Bone Club (2-2-1) vs. Greenback Iguanas (3-2)

Power Rankings: Bone Club 8; Iguanas 5

The Bone Club has played like a car in need of a new cylinder. It’s generally getting where it needs to go. However, it is by no means running efficiently doing so. To be a true title contender, that must change. In Week 6, Coach PY’s boys are without starters Cris Carter and Aaron Glover and reserve Tommy Vardell. The Iguanas, the Commish’s pre-season favorite in the Dewey division, have done nothing to change that view. The Bone Club catches a break because Barry Sanders has a bye this week along with Ryan Longwell and the Vikings D. Expect a move for a kicker from the Bernadt boys. Ordinarily, I’d be tempted to tab the Club as an upset pick this week. The time seems right. However, the Boners have problems with injuries to Warren Moon (broken rib) and Rickey Watters (severity unknown as of press time). This renders the QB and RB positions up in the air. Coach Young just waived Neal O’Donnell last week. This game could be low scoring but go with the Iguanas in this game of attrition.

Strange Highways (4-1) vs. Stanley Steamers (2-3)

Power Rankings: Highways 6; Steamers 9

The Highways, with a two game lead in the Cheatem division, have hopes of busting the division wide open with a win this week over the Stanley Steamers. They have the good fortune of catching the Steamers without Mike Alstott, Herman Moore, and Robert Brooks. The Steamers may be looking for an extra wideout this week. At the same time, the Steamers will get to face the Highways without Brett Favre, Jason Hanson and the Buccaneers defense. The Highways already picked up K Doug Brien to fill in for Hanson this week. For the Steamers, Garrison Hearst’s and Lamar Smith’s teams face each other this week. Jacksonville’s Brunell comes off a bye to play the Dolphins on MNF. The Swami doesn’t expect much WR production from the Steamers. If Coach Widtfeldt goes with Peyton Manning, Manning has Buffalo on the schedule. Buffalo could be in for a bit of a letdown after their win against the 49ers. Nevertheless, the Bill D is solid. This game could be very interesting but I’ll have to go with the Highways

Natural Mystics (1-4) vs. Montezuma’s Revenge (2-3)

Power Rankings: Mystics 12; Revenge 7

This game pits a pair of teams desperately trying to stay in the race for a playoff berth. Neither one has met expectations to date. The Mystics have been stung by injuries and the Chiefs inability to play NFL caliber offense while the Revenge has underperformed on the ground despite the presence of Robert Smith, Terry Allen and Warrick Dunn in the starting lineup. For this game, the Mystics are without Raymont Harris while the Revenge will play without Robert Smith, Warrick Dunn, and Randy Moss. Based on that alone, the Mystics may be catching the Revenge at the right time. Go with the Mystics to somehow even their record at 3-3.

The Retreads (4-1) vs. Grande To The Party (4-1)

Power Rankings: Retreads 1; Grande To The Party 2

This is the game of the week in the league. It matches the top two teams in the power rankings and pits two 4-1 teams in a game for sole possession of the Howe division lead. The Retreads have turned everything to gold so far. Their pickups have worked as have their starting lineups. The Party has gotten most of its production from Steve Young, Keyshawn, Stokes and Adam Vinatieri. The Retreads will be at full strength. The Party is without backup QB Trent Dilfer, Bert Emanuel, Derrick Mayes, and Mark Chmura. Anyone who’s been around this league long enough knows that it really doesn’t matter who is in Coach Will’s lineup for the big games. Someone the Party transforms into the Bud Grant Vikings on such days. Go with the Retreads.

Palace of Swords (3-1-1) vs. NFC Norris (2-3)

Power Rankings: P Swords 3; NFC Norris 4

The unfortunate thing about this game is that, regardless who wins, no ground will be made up in the division race. The Swords have both QBs off this week so we know they’ll be picking up someone. They are also without Antonio Freeman and the Packers D. The Norris are without K Gary Anderson. They, too, will be picking up a replacement player this week. The Norris’ top three running backs have all had their bye weeks. If the Norris is to make a playoff move, now is the time. This game smells like a Norris upset. Yet, the Schwam just can’t pull the trigger on it. So, take the Swords and cross your fingers.

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