Week 1 Newsletter
This week’s high scoring team: The Palace of Swords, with 81, have high total for the week. The 81 marks the 2nd highest point total in 6 seasons of league action, falling just shy of the 86 posted by Two Turntables & A Microphone against the Greenback Iguanas in 1996.
This week’s stooge: The award goes to PMS, with 6 points on Sunday (all from the kicker). It was the lowest scoring day for PMS in 4 years of league action
Letter from the Commish:
Labor Day. That magical day that augurs in the Autumnal equinox. The day that portends the turning of leaves from green to brown. The day that foreshadows pumpkins and jack-o-lanterns, frost on the windshield, sweaters and jeans, turkey and stuffing and, best of all, leather pigskins being run, passed and kicked through wind, sleet, rain, mud and anything else Mother Nature has to offer from one end of a 120 yard patch of green grass to the other (we’ll pretend that Astroturf has been banished from the face of competition).
Another year of FFL action, year six (or is it year VI), was ushered in over the holiday weekend. Four new teams made their league debuts. Eight wily and cagy old veterans donned the coaching headphones once more. Records fell. Excitement and anticipation was in the air. Friendships and rivalries were renewed. And when it was all done, only six teams could say they were still undefeated after the first week. Two of those teams, the Stanley Steamers and the Retreads, are among the four new league franchises and have been handed the cross of pre-season favorites by the Commish to win their divisions. Two others, the Bone Club and the Strange Highways, comprise 4 of the 5 previous Super Bowl winning coaches and represent the old guard. The Palace of Swords and Greenback Iguanas, also from the old guard, carry the burden of never having won playoff games. It is the Commish’s recollection that the Swords made the playoffs in ’94 but, as oldtimers can attest, 1994 represents the year of the big league fire during the reign of the previous Commissioner and all league records from that season were lost. In true harmonic fashion, we see before us a little old, a little new; a complete circle of life. While it’s only one week into the season, hopes are now just a little higher now for these six teams.
Among those six, only two square off in Week 2. Ironically enough, it’s a matchup of the Stanley Steamers and the Retreads. Coach Stamer of the Steamers is the one responsible for identifying Coach Detwiler and rounding out the league for the ’98 season. As fate has it, they meet in an early season battle of undefeateds and, as Week 2 is a harbinger of Week 13-the bonus out of division game-they will square off again later in the year in a game that could have playoff implications. Week 2 also brings us a pair of matchups between longtime league rivals. PMS and the Strange Highways will meet for the 6th time in the rivalry. The series is tied at 2-2-1. Week 2 also sees the Bone Club playing the Natural Mystics for the 5th time. After rolling over the Boners 64-35 in last year’s only meeting between the two teams, the Mystics trail the series by a 3-1 mark. The other Week 2 matchups pit Montezuma’s Revenge against the Palace of Swords, the Greenback Iguanas against the NFC Norris and, in a battle of 0-1 teams, the King of Dogs against Grande To The Party.
It came to the Commish’s attention over the weekend that 1998 marks the 75th anniversary of the Three Stooges. In honor of that occasion, the Commish has re-anointed the Larry, Curly and Moe divisions. For the ’98 season, barring leaguewide opposition, the divisions will henceforth be named after a Stooges episode during which the lovable short people played lawyers Dewey, Cheatem and Howe. Think about it a moment. Given the cutthroat competition that has developed over the 5+ years of the league, it somehow seems appropriate to the Commish.
In other league news, the discussed website has an address. While the work is under construction and will continue to be through and beyond the season, you’re invited to take a look at your leisure at what little is currently posted, namely the league schedule and 1998 rules. To access it, turn to http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/Pressbox/7274 and check it out. Understand that, as mentioned before, it is work under progress and will, hopefully over time, become more aesthetically pleasing as features and graphics are added and additional information provided.
Go deep, I'll throw it!
-The Commish
Transactions:
09/01 Greenback Iguanas waive RB Skip Hicks; add RB Jerald Moore.
09/01 Natural Mystics waive RB Raymont Harris; add RB Rodney Hampton.
09/06 Palace of Swords waive TE Gary Clark; add RB Marc Edwards.
09/06 Strange Highways waive WR Kevin Dyson; add WR Billy Davis.
Carter To Moon Propels Boners To Opening Win
It may not have been pretty. The running game did nothing and 2 of the receivers were held scoreless as well. But the Bone Club made a successful 1998 debut by defeating the King of Dogs 36-24 behind 12 points each from QB Warren Moon and WR Cris Carter. K Jason Elam tacked on 10 points, including a FG of 53 yards. The King of Dogs, one of four new league entries on the year, managed to keep the game close until Elam’s 10 points provided a safe lead late. Kordell Stewart lead the way for the Dogs with 10 points, playing his typically strong second half game. Norm Johnson scored 8 for the Dogs while TE Shannon Sharpe hauled in a TD pass Monday night. The Doggies had a combined 0 points from their 2 RBs and their 3 WRs. RB Charlie Garner was penciled into the starting lineup but saw no action Week 1. This, of course, made victory somewhat more difficult for the Mutts. At press time, unconfirmed rumors were circulating of a trade between the King of Dogs and the NFC Norris with Jake Plummer being the center of attention in exchange for a RB.
Bone Club 36 24 King of Dogs
Moon 12 QB 10 Stewart
Watters 00 RB 00 J Avery
Rhett 00 RB 00 Garner
C Carter 12 WR 00 R Moore
Pickens 00 WR 00 T Owens
A Glover 00 TE 06 Sharpe
M Jackson 00 U 00 C Hawkins
Elam 10 K 08 N Johnson
Chiefs 02 D 00 Panthers
Iguanas Hold PMS To Less Than 10 2nd Straight
For the second meeting in a row between these two teams dating back to last season, the Green Wall defense of the Iguanas completely shut down the PMS offense en route to a commanding victory. Last year’s win came in Week 14 by a 47-8 mark. This year’s opening game win gave the Iguanas early season momentum while giving PMS pause to reflect upon whether this year’s model will have the firepower of the ’97 PMS offense. The only points PMS could muster on this day was 6 points from kicker Mike Hollis. The Iguanas, while not overpowering, scored 30 while leaving extra points sitting on the bench. It was more than enough. Steve McNair got things started early with a TD pass before exiting the game with a minor injury. TD catches from Jimmy Smith, Darnay Scott and Wesley Walls as well as 8 points from K Ryan Longwell capped the Green Machine’s scoring. The Iguanas, after having lost the first two career meetings between these two teams, have now evened their head to head competition at 2-2.
Greenback Iguanas 30 06 PMS
McNair 04 QB 00 George
Sanders 00 RB 00 Bettis
A Smith 00 RB 00 Means
J Smith 06 WR 00 Jett
D Scott 06 WR 00 Conway
Walls 06 TE 00 Bruener
Faulk 00 U 00 Morton
Longwell 08 K 06 Hollis
Vikings 00 D 00 Steelers
Mystics Steamrolled By Division Favorite 41-20
Preseason division favorite, and league newcomer, the Stanley Steamers opened the 1998 season in fine fashion with a commanding 41-20 victory over 1997 in-season champ the Natural Mystics. The game was never truly close. QB Marc Brunell got things started early for the Steamers with a pair of TD passes while Herman Moore scored 8 and Lamar Smith tallied 10 with a TD run and a pass. Garrison Hearst broke the game open with a 96 yard run TD run that put him over 100 yards for the day. The Mystics got a TD from 1st round pick Dorsey Levens while Elvis Grbac and Andre Rison teamed up for 10 points. Emmitt Smith ran for a solid 122 yards but had a pair of TD runs bogarted by Troy "Slash" Aikman who was running Chan Gailey’s offense for the 1st time in the regular season. Nap Kaufman had a TD called back on a holding call while the Mystics lost both Elvis and backup QB Rob Johnson to injury during the game.
Natural Mystics 20 41 Stanley Steamers
Grbac 04 QB 08 Brunell
Levens 06 RB 14 Hearst
Kaufman 00 RB 00 Alstott
R Smith 00 WR 08 H Moore
Rison 06 WR 00 R Brooks
Gonzalez 00 TE 00 F Jones
E Smith 02 U 10 L Smith
Kasay 02 K 01 Husted
Cardinals 00 D 00 Redskins
Highways Ignore Nepotism In Rout Over Revenge
While Randy Moss and his 2 TD catches stood watching from the sidelines, the Strange Highways were adding WR Billy Davis to the starting lineup at gametime on their way to a dominating 43-8 opening week victory of Montezuma’s Revenge. The game was a matchup between brothers-in-law and coaches Eric Widtfeldt and Jason Unger. The veteran coach clearly showed the newcomer that winning in this league does not come easy. Third round pick Joey Galloway got the scoring started quickly for the Highways with a 35 yard TD catch on his way to 14 points. QB Brett Favre had 8, Jerry Rice and Davis had 6 each and Jason Hanson toed 7 more for the Strangers. The ground game was shut down although RB Curtis Enis played better as the game wore on. The only Revenge points came from K Richie Cunningham with 8 and QB John Elway’s lone TD pass. The three headed running attack of Robert Smith, Warrick Dunn and Terry Allen each were held in place on opening day while WR Terry Glenn was a non-factor until the 2nd half and never found his way to the endzone.
Strange Highways 41 12 Montezuma’s Revenge
Favre 08 QB 04 Elway
Enis 00 RB 00 R Smith
F Lane 00 RB 00 T Allen
Rice 06 WR 00 Glenn
Galloway 14 WR 00 Fryar
Dudley 02 TE 00 McGee
B Davis 06 U 00 W Dunn
Hanson 07 K 08 Cunningham
Buccaneers 00 D 00 49ers
Retreads Peel Rubber in 58-27 Rout of Norris
Kicking and special teams accounted for 24 points as the Retreads rolled over the NFC Norris by a 58-27 count. The Retread ground game was also well represented as Terrell Davis, Edgar Bennett and Karim Abdul-Jabbar combined for 26 more points. QB Drew Bledsoe added 8. While the WR tandem was shut down, it made little difference as the Norris could only muster a single Marino TD pass, a TD run from Cory Dillon and Marvin Harrison’s 8 points. K Gary Anderson added 7. The Norris is typically a fast starting team who has developed a reputation for free-falling 2nd half swoons. But after two straight years of that trend, perhaps a slow start in ’98 is an omen of worse things to come for Coach Nerz’s boys. The preseason division favorite Retreads jumped out early and never looked back.
NFC Norris 27 58 The Retreads
Marino 04 QB 08 Bledsoe
Dillon 06 RB 12 T Davis
J Anderson 00 RB 08 Abdul-Jabbar
T Brown 00 WR 00 McCardell
M Irvin 00 WR 00 Thigpen
Drayton 00 TE 00 E Green
M Harrison 08 U 06 E Bennett
G Anderson 07 K 14 Stoyanovich
Broncos 00 D 10 Seahawks
Sharp Swords Break Up Party In Offensive Show
In what was the league’s highest scoring game ever, the Palace of Swords defeated Grande To The Party 81-57 in Week 1 action. The combined point total of 138 points shattered the previous combined record for two teams, previously 123 in a Deadbeats 71-52 win over April’s Supercuts during the 1995 season. In so doing, this game also marked only the second time ever that a team scored over 50 points but came out on the short end of the stick with a loss. This game was over by halftime of the early games as Coach Pedersen’s team led 28-0 at that point. The Swords received points from every starter with the exception of WR Tony Martin who was 8 yards shy of 100 for the day and Ben Coates who left with an ankle injury. The Swords 81 points was the 2nd most ever behind only the 86 put up in 1996 by Two Turntables & A Microphone against the Greenback Iguanas. The big guns for the Swords were Brad Johnson with 16 points on 4 TD throws and James Stewart and Antonio Freeman with 14 each. The Swords even left an extra TD on the bench in the name of Charles Way. The Packers D also added 12 points as they continued making life difficult for the Party. The 12 points came on the heels of Gabe Wilkins’ 77 yard rumble with a fumble in Week 6 of the ’97 season. That Packer TD was the difference in a 24-19 loss to April’s Supercuts. Coach Will’s team made the game respectable as Steve Young hooked up with J.J. Stokes twice on TD passes. Each finished with 14 points as did Keyshawn Johnson. In all, the Party wideouts combined for 34 points. The loss was a cruel one for the Party on several accounts. Aside from the game being a divisional one, the Swords were handpicked as a designated rival by Coach Will. The game was also punctuated by Coach Will’s so-called 1998 sleeper pick Tavian Banks fumbling on his very 1st carry as an NFL pro and, later, failing to touch Bear return man Glyn Milburn while he was momentarily down on the ground en route to his 88 yard kickoff return for a touchdown. However, Coach Will was optimistic after the game remarking that his team put up 57 points albeit in a losing cause. Despite that, the Party drops to 1-4 lifetime against the Swords and will meet them again in Week 10.
Grande To The Party 57 81 Palace of Swords
S Young 14 QB 16 B Johnson
C Martin 00 RB 14 J Stewart
E George 06 RB 08 D Bennett
K Johnson 14 WR 14 Freeman
C Johnson 06 WR 00 T Martin
Chmura 00 TE 00 Coates
Stokes 14 U 06 J Lewis
Vinatieri 03 K 11 Del Greco
Jets 00 D 12 Packers
Swami Sez:
King of Dogs (0-1) vs. Grande To The Party (0-1) Power Rankings: King of Dogs 9; Grande To The Party 3
PMS (0-1) vs. Strange Highways (1-0) Power Rankings: PMS 12; Strange Highways 4
Greenback Iguanas (1-0) vs. NFC Norris (0-1) Power Rankings: Greenback Iguanas 7; NFC Norris 8
Bone Club (1-0) vs. Natural Mystics (0-1) Power Rankings: Bone Club 6; Natural Mystics 10
Stanley Steamers (1-0) vs. The Retreads (1-0) Power Rankings: Stanley Steamers 4; Retreads 2
Montezuma’s Revenge (0-1) vs. Palace of Swords (1-0) Power Rankings: Revenge 11; Palace of Swords 1
Grande To The Party over King of Dogs
Strange Highways over PMS
Greenback Iguanas over NFC Norris
Bone Club over Natural Mystics
Retreads over Stanley Steamers
Palace of Swords over Montezuma’s Revenge
Swami went 5-1 for the opening week, missing only the Swords win over Grande To The Party.