Pre-draft Newsletter 8/27/98
Letter from the Commish:
Welcome back everybody. The time has come for another year of intense, cutthroat FFL action. 1998 marks our sixth consecutive year and, if 1997 is any indication, this year should be bigger and better than ever.
Sadly, we have lost April’s Supercuts and owner April Johnson after three years of league action. Though the Supercuts never won a title, they had the ’95 and ’96 league MVPs and always fielded a competitive team. She will be missed. We’ve also lost coaches Darin Karstetter and Chris McCormick of Hog’s Breath as well as Dave Schmitz of the Beer Spillers. Lastly, we’ve lost 1997 FFL champion Jeffery Erickson and his Crawling King Snakes. On the plus side, we still have three original founding fathers among us: two time champion Eric Widtfeldt, two time FFL title game loser Mark "Bud Grant" Will, and three time first round loser yours truly. By the end of last season, every one of us with the exception of Jeffery and Mark Will was finally on e-mail, though Paul Nerz could never quite get his address right until it was too late and the Bernadts opted for the free 40 hours. A couple of times. What’s the address this month, guys?
The 1997 season was most definitely the craziest and funniest season on record. After five years of statistics, the definitive FFL Record Book was created and will be updated throughout the ’98 season as well. At the end of the year, I will be sending out the 1998 version of our own little Guinness Book of World Records. Last season also saw the strangest, wackiest division race on record with the Moe division fiasco that saw all four teams still vying for the playoffs entering the final week of the regular season. After the dust had settled, Widtfeldt’s Strange Highways were shut out of the playoffs largely on the basis of an earlier tie with Pete Pedersen’s Palace of Swords. Or one could point to Andre Rison’s TD catch with 4 seconds left on Monday Night Football in Week 3 that resulted in an unpaving of the Highways. The Highways, in turn, ousted the Bone Club from a division championship with their narrow one point win on Monday night of the final game of the final week of the regular season when Richie Cunningham booted the points that were the difference makers. That loss definitely devastated Coach Young. It was unknown until the spring whether he would even return for another year, the loss was so crushing. Coach Will’s Grande To The Party knocked out Coach Johnson’s Supercuts with their Week 15 win. So, only Coach Will’s team remained standing. Ah, but he got his later on.
After an upset victory in Round 1 of the playoffs, he lost his own one point game in the championship to Coach Erickson’s Crawling King Snakes. He did it by leaving, of all players, Emmitt Smith on the bench in true Willian fashion. For those of you who don’t know it, coach Will has gone on record as saying he wishes to bear Emmitt’s children some day. In the early weeks of the ’97 season when Emmitt was sucking, Will stated publicly that he wouldn’t take Emmitt off of coach Widtfeldt’s hands. But a week later, Emmitt went to Grande To The Party in a nine player swap. Emmitt started throughout the remainder of the year for Coach Will. Right up until the playoffs. With Emmitt not suited up on that fateful Sunday, Will lost a 31-30 heartbreaker. In the real world, Emmitt was scoring the TD that would have given the title to Will. What none of us knew at the time was that after each loss last year, Will was slumping into the seat of his Blazer and riding around the city of Omaha at night nursing his wounded pride and passing the hours in back alleys and dead-end streets. So, guys, remember this year to contact Will on his pager after a loss rather than trying to track him down at home to rub it in (which we all so twistedly like to do to each other after one of us loses—coach Wassem WAS sleeping the night of Week 8, by the way). It reminds the Commish of that tragic Greek figure who was condemned for all his days to pushing the boulder up the hill only to see it roll back down just as he was getting it to the top. So, let’s call coach Will "Rocky". At 0-2 in the big game (we always said Will couldn’t win the big one), could it be that Coach "Adobisi" Will is destined to be a perennial runner up? Always the bridesmaid but never the bride.
Then, of course, there’s the tale of O.J. Santiago. O.J. Santiago is the Atlanta Falcon TE who coach Will picked up on waivers during Shannon Sharpe’s bye week at the urging of coach Widtfeldt. Will tried playing it off as though he’d chosen Santiago by himself which, of course, we all knew better in light of Will’s 1996 pickup of Kimble Anders at the urging of coach Wassem. After the truth was divulged and Will had taken the prerequisite shit over it, we had him convinced that O.J. Santiago was, like Carmen Diego or Waldo, a fictional character. From one day to the next, Will was never sure. Yet, despite all that, Santiago survived on Will’s roster right up through the playoffs. Despite the broken leg he suffered in the latter part of the season! Ah, how dull things would be without the Willian exploits of Grande.
On a more serious note, 1997 will be remembered as the year long suffering coach Erickson finally grabbed the prize. Despite a 6-7 record with two regular season games left, the Crawling King Snakes won out to backdoor their way into the playoffs on the last day of the season. Once there, they knocked off the regular season champs, the Natural Mystics, before edging out coach Will’s boys. And coach J did it with class. None of the talking that we had come to expect out of the Bone Club, Highway and Grande camps. It was probably born out of relief as much as anything after coming up with big regular seasons in ’95 and ’96 only to bow out quickly in the playoffs each time. Nevertheless, the Widtfeldt/Young monopoly was over. And just about everyone was happy about that except for, of course, Widtfeldt and Young.
More than anyone, Young was due after tripping his way into the playoffs in ’96. Now that he has tasted the bitter pill of defeat, we have a more humble Young among us---for the moment. And speaking of brash, is it just coincidence that the Greenback Iguanas tailed off last season just as they started to be heard the loudest? I could go on forever but I will conclude with a list of highlights from 1997 as offered by owners throughout the league:
A few tidbits from the ’97 draft:
Final 1997 payouts were as follows:
Jeffery $ 245.00 Paul Y $15.00
Mark $152.50 April $15.00
Alex $121.25 Kevin/Kyle $15.00
Kip/Lisa $106.25 Darin/Chris $15.00
Paul N $ 30.00
But enough of ’97. This is ’98. New players in new places. We will be holding the annual FFL draft on Sunday August 30 at 12:00pm. The location will be the same as last year, 12418 Holmes Circle in Millard. The phone number is 895-3455. Expect it to last until 5:00pm. As we all know, sitting through draft day can sometimes be a chore. As Mike Ditka said back in April, "Why do teams take all of the allotted 15 minutes to make their picks? You should know exactly what you want to do. I hate draft day because of all that waiting." Ah, coach Ditka, always getting right to the point. Let’s do our best to keep things moving throughout the rounds.
Also this year, we will have our first annual pre-draft breakfast at the Garden Café at 10:00am at the Rockbrook location. Mark, Eric, and I will definitely be there. Anyway else who’s interested just needs to let me know by Saturday the 29th and I will be sure we get a table large enough for us all. Kip, Lisa? Petey? The rest of you? Call me at either 392-9749 or 341-2674 to let us know. We’ll drive from breakfast to Eric’s grandparents’ house for the draft. The agenda looks like this:
10am Breakfast at the Garden Café
12pm Convene Draft Day
In keeping with the theory that hope springs eternal, our very own beloved, and outspoken, Tick (Easy E Widtfeldt) has conferred with his dad, Jimmy the Greek, and posted the ’98 odds:
2-1 Strange Highways Is there any question as to why?
5-1 Bone Club Odds increase to 1,000,000-1 if in Highways’ division
10-1 PMS Dark horse contenders…starting to show game
15-1 Grande To The Party Always the bridesmaid
15-1 Natural Mystics Can they rebound after last year’s crushing 1st round loss?
30-1 Palace of Swords Worried more about saving money at the draft than winning
35-1 Greenback Iguanas Still earning their stripes
50-1 NFC Norris If only the league was seven weeks
Also, in 1998 the Commish has Office ’97. Weekly newsletters will be going out in that format. Since nobody responded when I asked back in early August if that would be a problem for anyone, the Commish can only assume no one is burdened by this. Now that the time has come, we’ll see who the slackers are among you when you get around to mentioning it.
We’ll see you on the 30th.
Go deep, I'll throw it!
-The Commish
1997 FFL All-League Teams
‘97 All League First Team: ‘97 All League Second Team:
QB Kordell Stewat (144) Bone Club Brett Favre (131) Grande To...
RB Terrell Davis (112) Supercuts Jerome Bettis (74) Natural Mystics
RB Barry Sanders(107) Bone Club Dorsey Levens (72) Natural Mystics
WR Cris Carter (74) Beer Spillers Michael Irvin (60) Cr. King Snakes
WR Rod Smith (70) Natural Mystics Antonio Freeman (58) PMS Joey Galloway (58) April’s Supercuts
TE Ben Coates (42) NFC Norris Tony McGee (38) Palace of Swords
U K Abdul Jabbar (100) Gr. Iguanas Napoleon Kaufman (63) PMS
K Jason Hanson (111) Gr. Iguanas Jason Elam (99) PMS Adam Vinatieri (111) NFC Norris
D Broncos (64) Gr. Iguanas Chargers (48) Cr. King Snakes
MVP: Kordell Stewart
Rookie of the Year: Warrick Dunn
Most Improved Player: Rod Smith
*Selections are based on points scored when in a starting FFL lineup during the 1997 season. Most Improved Player is determined by the largest point variation between the ’96 and ’97 seasons.
Playoff Recap
Round 1
Favre To Brooks Proves To Be Difference Again; Grande Stumblebums Way Back To Finals 34-29
For the second consecutive week, Grande To The Party prevailed with the help of the combination of Brett Favre to Robert Brooks, this time defeating PMS 34-29 in the first round of the FFL playoffs. In each instance, the final outcome was five points (last week’s score being 24-19). The Party also got bonus production from emergency starter Sherman Williams who wound up seeing extensive playing time and crossed the endzone for six. James Jett was on the receiving end of yet another Jeff George aerial for a touchdown, Brett Favre contributed his usual production (12 points on this day) and Jeff Wilkins tallied another four points. PMS got no production from its ground game in the absence of the injured Terry Allen and Tyrone Wheatley. Danny Kanell contributed for a second straight week, Antonio Freeman had a nice game with 14 points, Rickey Dudley caught a TD from George and Jason Elam kicked five points Monday night. However, Elam missed two field goals that could have been the difference. More than that, though, the Steelers defense returned an interception for a touchdown only to see it waived off due to a supposed forward lateral penalty. Replays seemed to show that the lateral was legal. With the loss, their third in a row to finish the season, PMS concludes an outstanding season on a down note but winds up with a record of 11-4 and the Curly division flag. Grande To The Party, 7-8 during the regular season, has sometime managed to drive blind all the way into the FFL title game next weekend.
PMS 29 34 Grande To The Party
Kanell 04 QB 12 Favre
Kaufman 00 RB 06 S Williams
Barber 00 RB 00 Dunn
Freeman 14 WR 06 R Brooks
J Reed 00 WR 06 Jett
Dudley 06 TE 00 Sharpe
McCardell 00 U 00 Bruce
Elam 05 K 04 Wilkins
Steelers 00 D 00 Cardinals
Round 1
King Snakes Play Best Game Of Year In Putting Wood To Mystics; Reach Finals For First Time
The Crawling King Snakes saved the best for last, scoring 48 points and defeating the Natural Mystics 48-19 in first round FFL playoff action. The King Snakes, 0-2 previously in first round playoff games, broke the playoff losing streak early and convincingly. Scott Mitchell got things going by returning to the Lions’ game after having been knocked out then throwing a 1 yard TD pass after Tommy Vardell was unable to rush in for the TD on the previous play. Mitchell later threw his second TD pass to Herman Moore from the three yard line with :03 seconds left in the game. Marshall Faulk had a touchdown rushing and another receiving. Michael Irvin accounted for 100 yards as did Darney Scott to go along with Scott’s TD reception. Other bonus points came from Fred Lane as he went over 100 on a 35 yard touchdown run early in the fourth quarter. Gary Anderson finished the Snake scoring with 10 MNF points. Their first ever playoff victory propels the King Snakes into the FFL title game against Grande To The Party next week in a game that will guarantee a new league champion.
Crawling King Snakes 48 19 Natural Mystics
Mitchell 08 QB 12 J George
Faulk 12 RB 00 Bettis
Morris 00 RB 00 Levens
Irvin 02 WR 00 T Brown
D Scott 08 WR 00 R Smith
Drayton 00 TE 00 Wycheck
F Lane 08 U 00 Owens
G Anderson 10 K 07 Longwell
Chargers 00 D 00 Cowboys
FFL Title Game
Emmitt Can Only Watch While The Party Ends; King Snakes Capture Their First FFL Title 31-30
While Emmitt Smith and his 4 yard rushing TD for the Cowboys watched from the sidelines, Grande To The Party took a crushing 31-30 loss to the Crawling King Snakes handing the title to long suffering Coach Erickson. The King Snakes were led by the revitalized Marshall Faulk and his 14 points. Darney Scott added 8 points in his second consecutive productive game and Gary Anderson added three field goals including the game winner at the 7:10 mark of the third quarter. K Jeff Wilkins led the Party with 12 points while Brett Favre added 8 points despite playing only about half the game. Shannon Sharpe also had 8 points for the Party and Warrick Dunn added 2 bonus points for going over the 100 yard mark on the day. The win ended a playoff drought for the King Snakes who, before 1997, were 0-2 in playoff games in franchise history. The Party suffered flashbacks of their harrowing 1995 title game loss when they left the wrong kicker on the bench. This time, it was Emmitt who collected splinters in favor of Sherman Williams. While Emmitt would have scored the game winner, Williams failed to score on the day, rendering Coach Will 0-2 in the title game. After the game, Coach Will fielded an assortment of consolation phone calls from such luminaries as Bud Grant, Marv Levy, Dan Reeves, Bobby Cox and the spirit of Thomas Dewey.
Crawling King Snakes 31 30 Grande To The Party
Mitchell 00 QB 08 Favre
Faulk 14 RB 00 S Williams
Morris 00 RB 02 Dunn
Irvin 00 WR 00 R Brooks
D Scott 08 WR 00 Jett
Drayton 00 TE 08 Sharpe
F Lane 00 U 00 Bruce
G Anderson 09 K 12 Wilkins
Chargers 00 D 00 Cardinals
The First Annual Shotgun Tournament was also held over the course of these past two weeks. We had five participants this first year. With a two week total of 88 points, the winner this season is Coach Nerz of the NFC Norris. The $50 winner take all payout goes to him. With the $30 he earned for having high points twice during the regular season, Nerz almost comes out even steven for the year (after it took him five weeks to get his money to us in the first place). For team results, see below:
Coach Karstetter 67 Coach Wassem 76 Coach Widtfeldt 63
QB Brunell 16 K Stewart 11 Favre 20
RB Levens 00 B Sanders 10 B Sanders 10
RB Bettis 00 Jabbar 00 R Smith 10
WR Rison 00 C Carter 18 T Brown 02
WR Freeman 20 Thigpen 02 R Brooks 06
TE Drayton 00 McGee 06 B Jones 00
U D Scott 14 T Davis 06 Irvin 02
K Vinatieri 03 Hanson 09 Mare 07
D Chiefs 14 Chiefs 14 Giants 06
Alt: Elway 16 Favre 20 M Allen 12
T Davis 06 Elam 13 Stoyanovich 16
B Sanders 10 Bettis 00 J George 16
Coach Will 39 Coach Nerz 88
QB K Stewart 11 K Stewart 11
RB B Sanders 10 C Dillon 08
RB Bettis 00 B Sanders 10
WR Rison 00 C Carter 18
WR Thigpen 02 R Moore 06
TE Chmura 00 Dudley 12
U Levens 00 Jabbar 00
K Hollis 16 Hanson 09
D Chargers 00 Chiefs 14
Alt: Favre 20 T Davis 06
T Davis 06 D Levens 00
Gannon 04 T Brown 02