1997 FFL Week 14 Newsletter
This week's high scoring team: For the third straight week and the fourth time this season, the Natural Mystics take the honors with 59 points, capped by Dorsey Levens 14 on MNF.
This week's stooge: PMS with 8. This is their first ever game under 10 pts. in 3 years. It wasn’t even close as NFC Norris was next with 28.
What's inside:
1. Letter from the Commish
2. Transactions
3. Week 14 Recaps & Boxscores
4. The Swami Sez
5. Schedule
6. Rosters
Letter from the Commish:
It’s come down to this; do or die. PMS and the Natural Mystics have had playoff berths locked up for almost a month while the Battle Of The Moe and the backstretch of the wildcard race take place this week with the last teams standing receiving an invitation to the big dance where they will face the task of knocking off the league’s two bullies of 1997. In a one game sudden death playoff, even a 7-8 team can come up big and find itself propelled into the title game despite all odds. In fact, any team coming out of the Moe division will be exactly that, 7-8. Or else 8-7. Either way, it will mark the worst ever regular season record for a team that made the FFL playoffs. Barring a huge Week 15 upset, the Natural Mystics will take the #1 seed into the playoffs and meet the wildcard entry while PMS, with the #2 seed, will square off against the last boy scout of the Moe division trying not to play down to its level come Week 16. This was the reverse of what we expected to see before the start of Week 14 as PMS had held the #1 seed for a month. But a loss to the Iguanas coupled with another Mystics win over NFC Norris changed all that. As far as the races still in progress:
Wild Card Race:
Greenback Iguanas are in with a win.
The Palace of Swords must win and hope for an Iguanas loss.
Crawling King Snakes must defeat the Greenback Iguanas and hope for a loss by the Palace of Swords. The Snakes would get in due to the tiebreaker (divisional record) against the Iguanas.
Moe Division Race:
April’s Supercuts are in with a win.
Grande To The Party is in with a win and a Bone Club loss.
Bone Club is in with a win and a Supercuts loss. The Club would win by virtue of the #3 tiebreaker, total points scored for the year.
Speaking of scoring many points, the Commish normally tries refraining from speaking about his good friend Coach Wassem very often. However, in conducting research, he has come across some interesting facts. The Natural Mystics have the opportunity to do something only one team has ever accomplished in league history; that’s scoring over 50 points in four consecutive games. If they can put up 50 or more this week against Hog’s Breath, they’ll tie Coach Will’s 1996 record. Among the notable league scoring accomplishments over the last five years:
The Resin Balls put up better than 60 points in two out of three late in the inaugural 1993
season. Weeks 10-13 of the 1995 season saw perhaps the greatest fireworks show in league history as the Bone Club became the first ever team to put up 50 or more in back-to-back weeks (Weeks 10-11), followed closely by the LA Riots in Weeks 11-12 and April’s Supercuts in Weeks 12-13 (one of those being the only league loss where the losing team scored greater than 50 points in the game). However, each of those teams were outdone by When The Shit Comes Down (another unbearably long Coach Will team name) who scored greater than 50 points in Weeks 11-13, for three in a row. In 1996, the NFC Norris scored back-to-back 50s in Weeks 6 & 7 before the plunge over the cliff and Two Turntables & A Microphone (Will again!) pulled off their all-time league high of four consecutive plus 50 games during Weeks 7-10. The LA Riots joined the Microphones as only the second team to turn the back-to-back trick twice in league history, doing the trick in Weeks 10-11. The Strange Highways joined the fraternity for the first time in Weeks 13-14 of the ‘96 season. Both the Mystics and PMS turned the back-to-back trick during Weeks 4-5 of the ‘97 season. This marked Coach Wassem’s third trip to the hallowed 50/50 club. Coach Wassem made it four times with his back-to-back-to-back showing in Weeks 12-14.
The Mystics, with 49 points in Week 15, would break the all-time league single season scoring record. They have picked up steam of late, averaging 53.3 over their last three. For the year, the Mystics have topped 50 points seven times in 14 games. Three times they’ve scored over 50 but not collected the $15 for high weekly total, including one 64 point week. Yet, they’ve managed the weekly honors four times overall. A look at the other playoff contenders reveals that PMS has topped 50 three times but not once since Week 5. PMS averaged 42.9 ppg the first seven weeks; 39.4 over the past seven. The Iguanas have averaged 42.5 ppg over their last four games since breaking out of their three game slide to win three of four. April’s Supercuts have averaged 31.3 over their last four, going 2-2. The P. Swords, in winning their last four, have averaged 34.5 ppg. during that time. The Bone Club’s offense has slumped lately while they’ve gone 1-3, snapping their three game slide only this past week. During the past four weeks, the Club has averaged 32.3 ppg and lost Garrison Hearst and Terry Glenn to injuries. Grande To The Party has slipped to 30.3 ppg over the last four. And the Crawling King Snakes, 2-2 over their last four, have averaged 29.8 during that period. They have also alternated between wins and losses since Week 10. Is a "L" on the horizon in Week 15 then?
Note: Remember that in Week 15 there is another Thursday night game. Turn in your starting lineup by 7:00pm on Thursday in order to avoid automatically reverting to your Week 14 lineup.
The Commish received some entertaining commentary this past week. Here’s but a few:
"The more things change, the more they stay the same..... The Highways report only one change in this weeks starting line-up..... We’ve pulled Gus Frerotte’s head out of his ass and are starting him this weke. All other positions, (barring a last minute move, what are the odd??) stay with the same as last week. Alstott, J. Graham, Herman, Yancy, Wesley, Blanton, Pats and Derrick. The only change would be with Derrick Alexander coming out, and Ki-Jana coming in. Here’s to hoping I still have the luck of the "E" for one more week. Until Bone-duhh- Saurus, which I need no luck."
Editor’s Note: Hindsight being 20/20, Steve McNair and Ki-Jana Carter could have proven the difference in the game for the Highways. It’s all about coaching and getting the right players in their. Ask Coach Will if he’ll ever forget the ‘95 title game and he’ll speak to it from personal experience.
"Fag boy Mitchell, crack head Morris, coke sniffing Irvin, I’m always injured Charles Johnson, Marshall "my team sucks" Faulk....My team sucks."
Editor’s Note: Thus is the price of excellence as Coach J has set the bar quite high in light of his fine regular season showings of years past.
"In a move to blow you off, we’re not starting Johnson this week. It’ll be Kanell. Hope that doesn’t really throw the Swami off."
"So, is it 11:28, is it 11:29, is it 11:26 by that voice stamp there? Time stamped. Date stamped. Stamped out. Drawn to the crack house. Yes, that’s what the stamp is. And the stampers are Kordell, Barry, Murrell, Hearst, Calloway. And in a surprising Bone Club mixup in the lineup, it’s Anthony Milla for some Milla time on Thanksgiving. Unbelievable as it may seem. Chmura finds his way back into the lineup as does Hollis from Jacksonville and the Bucs. April’s Supercuts go with, uh....Moon. Hold on, flippin’ sheets here. Separate teams, separate sheets. Moon, Davis, Waay, Harrison, Galloway, Early, Riemersma, Bone Club headiol Boniol and the New York Giants coming back to haunt Eric. Later."
"Hey, Coach Wassem, notice the new e-mail address. My first free month ran out so I’m starting another free month of AOL. Please make note of this in the Newsletter. Don’t worry, the green still dominates, and we will be receiving alot of green from the league here in a few weeks. All right man, take it cheezzzzzy."
And, finally, with the Strange Highways finally buried until next year, comes this press release from the Highway front office:
Cayman Islands-(AP)-There will be a new champion in 1997, now that lat year’s champs, the Strange Highways, have officially been eliminated with a Week14 loss to April’s Supercuts. After a dismal 1-6 start in which the Highways had no room for error, they showed the heart of a 2 time champion, by climbing to within a 1/2 game with 2 to play, but alas Mighty Casey has struck out. There is no joy in Highway-ville. After the loss, outside observers noticed a shady figure lurking around the team locker room. Moments later it was announced that Highway QB Gus Frerotte would miss the rest of the year with a dislocated hip. Once again, rumors of mob ties and connections to the mob have surrounded the Highways. The Highways still have a say in who might represent the Mighty Moe. When asked about who he’d like to see represent the division, Widtfeldt shook his head and said, "Do you really have to ask??" When asked to sum up this year’s contenders, Widtfeldt offered these comments, "Who cares...you’ve got 2 bitch teams already in (the Mystics & PMS) the playoffs, with potentially 3 if the Supercuts make it. But hey, we’d trade spots with them in a minute, so good luck to whoever makes it. Just realize that whoever wins it all is just keeping OUR title warm." Following that statement, Widtfeldt trashed the owner’s box, pimp slapped his GM Heather Hooper, and was seen leaving the airport on the Enola Bob, a private jet owned by fellow league owner and alledged mob cohort Paul Young. But in all seriousness...thanks everybody for another great FFL year. I had a blast. Even though I won’t be defending my title, it was still fun. I believe some new rivalries have been discovered (Iguanas, this means you) and some still burn nicely (PP and Nerz). Good luck to the teams that are still in it. I’m looking forward to seeing everybody at next year’s draft (later in August). Thanks again for a great season. Happy holidays!!!"
--The Strange Highways
The Commish doesn’t know about the rest of you, but he thinks you all is getting funnier all the time. And while he’s thinking about e-mail addresses, the Commish wishes to pass on the fact he tried e-mailing Coach Nerz last week and received the dreaded undeliverable message. Seems the NFC Porous management is in shambles over its recent "Nightmare On Norris Street-Part II". We’re holding our breath in expectation of 1998’s "Nightmare On Norris Street-Part III; The Return Of The One Horse Pony". Or is it, "Nightmare On Norris Street-Part III; Mitchell’s Final Revenge"? Anyway, avoid Coach Nerz’s e-mail address like the plague or risk the virus known as "The Late Autumn Swoon". Also, note the new e-mail address for Kyle Bernadt as well.
Picking back up with the issue of changing drop/adds and fees for next year, Coach Koll weighed in with this opinion.
"I don’t know if I ever put my two cents in about possible changes for next year, so if I am repeating myself, go ahead and ignore the following.
Regarding priority pick-ups based on low score, I agree that we should have that available but I think that this should be limited to one or two players, anything after that would be first come first serve, just like everybody else. I actually agree with Coach Young on his belief that based on the strength of your draft, you should only need to make transactions based on injury, etc, not replace your whole lineup.
Also, I don’t like the idea of paying per transaction. I don’t care about trying to deter trade happy coaches or anything like that, mine is a practical concern, do we really want to make our league more difficult to keep track of and maintain? Don’t we have enough trouble with entry fees, do we really want to do accounting for a whole season? If we want to increase the kitty to make more payoffs available, high score of the season and what not, I say either divide the stakes we already have, increase the entry fee, or have a separate pool for high points--if you don’t want to contribute, you aren’t able to collect--so anybody that thinks the fees are getting too high anyway has the option of not participating.
OK, there is more than my two cents--with the exception of a note to Swami, PMS may have a tired lineup, but they have treated us well, newer doesn’t mean better. I say that as I am considering offering a surprise lineup this week, I just have to see if Coach Meyer agrees."
Coach Widtfeldt had a footnote to his Week13 victory over the NFC Norris. In both 1996 and 1997, the Norris won the first meeting between these two teams. However, in the rematch, the Highways won both games and crippled the Norris’ playoff hopes each time, leaving them near death. Ironically, the Week 13 victory this year came largely on the feet of Steve McNair. McNair was traded last month from the Norris to the Highways for Curtis Conway. Conway has not scored a point in a Norris uniform while McNair’s 16 points were the difference between these two teams in Week 13. Widtfeldt also mentioned that Coach Young has been avoiding him of late, knowing that he can’t talk the smack with Coach E. They have a Week 15 matchup in the No Moe division. Or was that No Mas? The Highways were hopeful of defeating the Bone Club and winning the division, bettering Coach Youngs’ 1996 mark of starting 1-5 and still winning the division. The Highways would have started 1-6 in ‘97. As for the Norris, the Mystics took the dying carcass left to them by the Highways and properly disposed of the trash, putting a quick and merciful end to their season.
Speaking of the Moe division, the longest winning streak by any team from within the division is 3, done once each by the Supercuts, the Bone Club and the Highways. Although that’s a somewhat dubious accomplishment, the Commish discovered something that is not. Did anyone else out there notice that the Moe division has three of the six league teams with averages above 30.0 ppg. for the season? And none of them includes the Strange Highways, known for their high octane attackes in seasons past.
Enough of Week 14. On to Week 15 and the regular season finales. Go deep, I'll throw it!
-The Commish
Week 14 Recap
Mystics Turn Back Fading Norris By 59-28 Mark; Own Lead For Best Record With One Game Left
The NFC Norris continued to look like their 1996 brethren in dropping a 59-28 game to the Natural Mystics in Week 14. The Norris took an early 2-0 lead on the strength of Eddie George’s 100 yard performance and it only took him 31 carries to get there. The Norris’s other Thanksgiving Day player, Curtis Conway, turned up a goose egg as he has ever since the Norris traded for him last month. Finding themselves behind by only 2 points with Coach Nerz having shot two of his bullets already, Coach Wassem’s rasta boys felt confident entering the Sunday games. The Norris added 8 Adam Vinatieri points during the 12 o’clock games before the Mystics made their move. Irving Fryar accounted for 122 yards receiving for 2 points, Jeff George fired a pair of TD passes and Jerome Bettis hit the trifecta with 3 TDs and 100 yards rushing for 20 points. Rod Smith helped to negate John Elway in the Sunday night game with a TD catch. The Mystics closed out the scoring Monday night with 9 from Ryan Longwell and another 14 from Dorsey Levens. Levens has been assuming a greater presence in the Packer offense weekly as playoff time approaches. The Mystics improve to 12-2 and can wrap up the league’s best record and the #1 seed in the playoffs that goes along with it if they win next week against Hog’s Breath. The Norris, at 6-8, can get out the golf clubs as they are eliminated for the season, marking their 2nd straight second half league free fall.
Natural Mystics 59 28 NFC Norris
George 08 QB 12 Elway
Bettis 20 RB 02 E George
Levens 14 RB 00 J Stewart
Fryar 02 WR 06 F Sanders
R Smith 06 WR 00 Conway
Wycheck 00 TE 00 Coates
Ellard 00 U 00 M Jackson
Longwell 09 K 08 Vinatieri
Cowboys 00 D 00 Raiders
Swords Win Fourth Straight; Remain In The Mix
Despite some early anxiety for the Palace of Swords, they took care of business by defeating Hog’s Breath 45-32 in Week 14 FFL action. The Swords point total marked a season high and came at an opportune time as Hog’s Breath mounted some scoring opportunities of their own. Ed McCaffrey led Hog’s Breath with 14 points, Olindo Mare had 10, Jermaine Lewis 6 and Cory Dillon added 2 points for a 100 yard rushing day. However, Steve Young was surprisingly held scoreless on the day. The Swords got a TD pass from Chris Chandler to go with Jamal Anderson’s 12 points, Tony McGee’s 6 and Troy Brown’s 6. Al Del Greco added 9 kicking points and the Chiefs defense chipped in 8 of their own. Early on, Coach Pedersen could only sit and watch while WR Johnny Morton, a starter LAST week, accounted for 8 Thanksgiving Day points for the Lions but zero for the Swords as he had lost his starting job to Troy Brown for the week. It’s the same old song and dance for Pedersen’s receiving corps. There’s just too many to choose from. The front office spent the better part of the season attempting to shuttle players in and out but refused to address the issue in the most obviously satisfactory manner, via a trade, it being against Swords’ philosophy. After benchwarmer Andre Reed also caught a TD ball, the Swords went to work. Jamal Anderson scored on a short run before Chandler found him for a 10 yard TD catch to get the Swords going. At 8-6-1, the Swords, win their fourth straight game to remain alive for the wildcard berth, one-half game behind the Greenback Iguanas. The Swords need a win in Week 15 coupled with an Iguanas loss to sneak in to the second season.
Palace of Swords 45 32 Hog’s Breath
Chandler 04 QB 00 S Young
C Martin 00 RB 02 Dillon
R Smith 00 RB 00 Warren
Emanuel 00 WR 00 J Smith
T Brown 06 WR 14 McCaffrey
McGee 06 TE 00 Glover
J Anderson 12 U 06 J Lewis
Del Greco 09 K 10 Mare
Chiefs 08 D 00 Eagles
Iguanas Come Up Big; Stop The Bleeding 47-8 To Remain In The Lead For The Wildcard Berth
The Greenback Iguanas won a game they had to win over a team they had never defeated to remain ahead of the pack in the race for the wildcard, with a 47-8 victory over PMS. The Iguanas leap frogged out to an early 19-0 lead on Thanksgiving on the strength of 13 Jason Hanson kicking points and a Raymont Harris TD run. On Sunday, they increased the lead with an early Vinny Testaverde TD throw and a Keyshawn Johnson TD catch. Johnson would have had 100 yards but his last catch was negated due to a holding penalty. Testaverde left the game with an injury and his status for Week 15 is questionable. If he’s not ready next week, Neil O’Donnell would become the Iguanas starting QB. The Iguanas increased their lead further with a short TD run from Karim Abdul-Jabbar, a TD catch from Tony Martin and yet another defensive score. The lone PMS points on Sunday were Jason Elam’s 8 kicking points. All other starters went scoreless for PMS and Terry Allen sprained his right ankle. The lone remaining PMS starters on Monday night were the starting wide receivers, Jake Reed and Antonio Freeman. They proved to be too little, too late for PMS. The Iguanas can sew up the wildcard berth and a rematch with either PMS or the Natural Mystics with a win in Week 15. Their win was their first ever over PMS and can be classified as their first ever truly "big game" win, something Coaches Nerz and Will are still desperately seeking. PMS will try to just shake this one off and hope it’s out of their system prior to the playoffs. However, the loss of Allen for 1-3 weeks hurts and Brad Johnson’s ankle looks troublesome. At 11-3, PMS is staring the #2 seed in the face barring a Mystics Week 15 loss.
PMS 08 47 Greenback Iguanas
Kanell 00 QB 04 Testaverde
Kaufman 00 RB 06 R Harris
T Allen 00 RB 06 Jabbar
J Reed 00 WR 06 T Martin
Freeman 00 WR 06 K Johnson
Dudley 00 TE 00 Asher
C Hawkins 00 U 00 Mayes
Elam 08 K 13 Hanson
Steelers 00 D 06 Broncos
King Snakes Hold Off Beer Spillers To Stay Alive
The Crawling King Snakes, trying to remain alive in the race for a wildcard berth, put up 22 points Thanksgiving Day then withstood a fast charging Beer Spiller club in taking a hard fought 37-35 victory from the free falling Spillers. Scott Mitchell threw a pair of TD passes and Michael Irvin caught a pair for the early Snakes lead at the conclusion of the Thursday games. Irvin also tallied the 100. The Beer Spillers made a game out of it with a pair of Drew Bledsoe touchdown passes, a Rickey Watters run and 14 points from Andre Rison. Rob Moore added yet another 100 yard day, almost reaching 200 and Matt Stover booted 3 points. But just when it appeared that the Spillers had the game under control, Eric Metcalf returned a punt for a TD giving the King Snakes their slim margin of victory. Since picking up the Charger defense six weeks ago, the Chargers have scored in every single game for Coach Erickson, including two scores on two separate occasions. More importantly, the defense has proven to be the difference in narrow wins in Week 9 over Grande To The Party, Week 10 over PMS and now in Week 14 over the Beer Spillers, taking a load off of the sputtering Snake running game. Each game was won by less than six points. At 7-7, the King Snakes still have hopes of backing into the playoffs with a win over the Iguanas coupled with a loss by the Palace of Swords. The Spillers, at 5-9, close out the season against PMS in Week 15.
Beer Spillers 35 37 Crawling King Snakes
Bledsoe 08 QB 08 Mitchell
Watters 06 RB 00 Faulk
McPhail 00 RB 00 Morris
C Carter 02 WR 14 Irvin
Rison 14 WR 00 Stokes
Bruener 00 TE 00 Drayton
R Moore 02 U 00 C Johnson
Stover 03 K 09 G Anderson
49ers 00 D 06 Chargers
It’s Grande’s Party And He’ll Cry If He Wants To While The Bone Club Lives To See Another Day
Grande To The Party and the Bone Club went into their Week 14 rematch knowing that their respective big gun running backs would both be featured nationally on Thanksgiving Day. As it turned out, it was a mismatch from the start. By halftime, Barry Sanders had 6 points on his way to a 20 point day. Meanwhile, Emmitt Smith came up with another in a long string of zeroes and eventually had to leave the game with a shoulder injury. Spotted a 20-0 lead, the Bone Club went in for the kill. K Mike Hollis added 17 points early Sunday to combine with Sanders’ 20 as the Bone Club closed out a 37-29 win over Grande. Coach Will is still looking for that elusive "big game" victory and this marks the second time in three years that a Coach Young team has ended the season (or could prove to) for the Party. The Party tried making a game of it as Jeff Wilkins booted 11 points, James Jett caught a TD and Warrick Dunn ran for 100 yards. Dunn almost had a TD, diving for the endzone in the second half but he was ruled down inside the one yard line and former Party goer Erric Rhett bulled his way in from there for the score. A Favre to Brooks toss completed the Grande scoring. Coach Young was overheard at mid-season saying he’d made a mistake in drafting Sanders and wouldn’t draft him again in 1998. However, based on Sanders’ performance the past 4-6 weeks, one must wonder if that opinion has changed. Sanders rushed for over 100 yards for the 11th straight week, tying an NFL record. With the win, the Bone Club stays alive at 6-8 for the Moe division title as does Grande To The Party, despite their loss. For either team to have a chance at the title, Grande must win in Week 15 but, as Coach Ditka Will said after the game, "I quit. The game’s passed me by. Does someone have a hanky?" Assuming that were to happen, the Bone Club would take the title if it defeated the Strange Highways. The Bone Club will have to play Week 15 without the services of injured Garrison Hearst. They’ve already lost Terry Glenn and Chris T. Jones, their projected starting receivers, for most of the year. Grande would win the title if the Highways beat the Bone Club. Of course, a Supercuts win in Week 15 wins them the title outright.
Grande To The Party 29 37 Bone Club
Favre 04 QB 00 K Stewart
E Smith 00 RB 00 Murrell
Dunn 02 RB 20 Sanders
Brooks 06 WR 00 Calloway
Jett 06 WR 00 A Miller
Sharpe 00 TE 00 Chmura
Bruce 00 U 00 Hearst
Wilkins 11 K 17 Hollis
Cardinals 00 D 00 Buccaneers
Supercuts Pave Highways To Control Own Fate; Highways Officially Declared Dead On Arrival
The Strange Highways took an early 6-0 lead over the Supercuts on Thanksgiving Day with the help of Herman Moore’s TD catch but couldn’t hold off the Cuts late as Warren Moon connected with Joey Galloway for a 10 point play and Terrell Davis totaled 8 points to lead the Supercuts past the Highways 38-30. The Highways stayed close throughout, aided by Mike Alstott’s 2 TDs on the day. However, Gus "Headbanger" Frerotte was limited to one TD toss and Jay Graham was denied a one yard TD run when Kenyan Cotton did the Raven honors instead. Scott Blanton added 8 kicking points to close out the Highway scoring. Coach Widtfeldt started Derrick Alexander this week, gambling that he’d still produce despite the fact he’d been benched by the Ravens for missing team meetings. Widtfeldt’s other option was Ki-Jana Carter. As it turned out, Ki-Jana scored on a one yard run. After the Moon to Galloway toss, Coach W was heard to remark, "There goes the season." For the Cuts, Moon added another TD pass, Chris Boniol had a big kicking day with 14 and the Giants defense even abandoned Coach Widtfeldt by scoring a safety against him. At 5-8-1, the Highways are dead for the year but still hold the key to the ultimate division winner. After the game, coach Widtfeldt was taking no calls as "he wanted to be alone with (his) thoughts." The Supercuts are 7-7 and will win the Moe outright with a victory in Week 15.
April’s Supercuts 38 30 Strange Highways
Moon 08 QB 04 Frerotte
T Davis 08 RB 12 Alstott
Way 00 RB 00 J Graham
Galloway 06 WR 00 Thigpen
Harrison 00 WR 06 H Moore
Riemersma 00 TE 00 Walls
Early 00 U 00 Alexander
Boniol 14 K 08 Blanton
Giants 02 D 00 Patriots
Swami Sez:
Natural Mystics (12-2) vs. Hog’s Breath (3-11)
Power Rankings: Natural Mystics 2; Hog’s Breath 12
The Mystics attempt to wrap up the #1 seed for the playoffs and a win will do that outright. It will also give them the best ever single season record in league history. The Natural Mystics will go with Jeff George (KC), the "Bus" (Den), Levens (TB), any of the following five solid WRs: T Brown (KC), Owens (Min), R Smith (Pitt), Fryar (NYG), and Ellard (Ariz), Wycheck (Cincy), Longwell (TB), and the Cowboys sans Deion vs. Carolina on Monday night. Hog’s Breath will counter with Steve Young (Min), Warren (Balt), Dillon (Tenn), Jimmy Smith (NE), McCaffrey (Pitt), Jermaine Lewis (Sea), Glover (SF), Mare (Det) and the Eagles (NYG). The Mystics won the only previous game between these two teams by a narrow 17-11 score in Week 6.
NFC Norris (6-8) vs. Palace of Swords (7-6-1)
Power Rankings: NFC Norris 10; Palace of Swords 8
The Norris have slid right out of the playoff race while the Swords have vaulted themselves right back into it. The Swords must win to remain alive and then hope for an Iguanas Week 15 loss. The NFC Norris will start Elway (Pitt), James Stewart (NE), Eddie George (Cincy), Michael Jackson (Sea), Frank Sanders (Wash), Conway (Buf), Coates (Jax), Vinatieri (Jax) and the Raiders (KC). The P. Swords will counter with Chandler, Emanuel and Jamal Anderson (SD), Robert Smith (SF), Curtis Martin (Jax), either Andre Reed (Chi) or Johnny Morton (Mia) or Troy Brown (Jax), McGee (Tenn), Del Greco (Cincy) and the Chiefs (SF). Coach Nerz has failed to defeat the Swords in two previous efforts, including a close 25-21 loss in Week 6 earlier this season.
PMS (11-3) vs. Beer Spillers (5-9)
Power Rankings: PMS 1; Beer Spillers 11
PMS appears to be going into the playoffs as the #2 seed unless they win in Week 15 and the Mystics get beat by Hog’s Breath. The Beer Spillers are out of the running but gave a good effort last week against the Crawling King Snakes. PMS will start Brad Johnson assuming he’s healthy enough to play and Jake Reed (SF), the recently quiet Napoleon Kaufman along with Rickey Dudley (KC), Antonio Freeman (TB), Jason Elam (Pitt) and the Steelers D (Den). Terry Allen will miss the game for PMS. The Beer Spillers will go with Bledsoe (Jax), Watters (NYG), McPhail (Det), Cris Carter (SF), Andre Rison (Oak), Rob Moore (Wash), Bruener (Den), Stover (Sea) and the 49ers (Minn). PMS won the only previous encounter between these two teams by a 46-42 score, another close game that PMS was able to pull out.
Crawling King Snakes (7-7) vs. Greenback Iguanas (8-6)
Power Rankings: Crawling King Snakes T6; Greenback Iguanas 3
A win by the Iguanas cements the wildcard berth. The King Snakes will try to prevent that by winning and staying in the hunt themselves. The Greenback Iguanas starting lineup should consist of Vinny (Sea) or Neil O’Donnell (Indy), Jabbar (Det), Raymont (Buf), Keyshawn (Indy), Tony Martin (Atl), Asher (Ariz), Hanson (Mia) and the Broncos (Pitt). The Snakes will go with Mitchell (Mia), Faulk (NYJ), Morris (Sea), Irvin (Car), Stokes (Minn), Charles Johnson (Den), Drayton (Det), Gary Anderson (Minn), and the Chargers (Atl). The King Snakes lead the series 2-1 but the Iguanas won the earlier meeting in 1997 by a 38-20 score.
Bone Club (6-8) vs. Strange Highways (5-8-1)
Power Rankings: Bone Club 4; Strange Highways T6
The Highways have been eliminated but would love nothing more than to defeat their rival, the Bone Club. The Club needs to win and hope Grande To The Party defeats April’s Supercuts in order to win the division title. The Bone Club will start Kordell (Den), Murrell (Indy), Barry Sanders (Mia), Calloway (Phil), either Anthony Miller (Car) or Terry Glenn (Jax), Chmura (TB), Hollis (NE) or Hall (Indy) and the Buccaneers (GB). The Strange Highways will employ McNair (Cin), Alstott (GB), Jay Graham (Sea), Yancy Thigpen (Den), Herman Moore (Mia), second stringer Derrick Alexander (Sea) or Ki-Jana Carter (Tenn), Walls (Dal), Cunningham (Car) or Blanton (Ariz) and the Pats (Jax). The Bone Club has historically been the Highways’ bitch, trailing in the series by a 3-1 regular season count but they won their Week 6 game 41-31. The Highways must hope for a lower scoring game as they’ve cracked 40 points only once in ‘97 while the Bone Club is fourth in league scoring. The Bone Club will be without Garrison Hearst while the Highways will be without Gus Frerotte. Both are out with injuries.
April’s Supercuts (7-7) vs. Grande To The Party (6-8)
Power Rankings: April’s Supercuts 9; Grande To The Party 5
April’s Supercuts are the one team in the Moe division that controls its own destiny. A win over Grande gives them the title and the #3 seed in the playoffs. It would be a first-ever berth in the playoffs for Coach Johnson. Grande needs to win and hope for a Bone Club loss in order to back-door their way into the playoffs. The Supercuts will start Warren Moon (Balt), Terrell Davis (Pitt), Way (Phil) or Zellars (St. Louis), Harrison (NYJ), Galloway (Balt), Early (Chi), Riemersma (Chi), Boniol (NYG) or Murray (SF) and either the Pack or Giants D. Grande will go with Favre and Robert Brooks (TB), Warrick Dunn (GB), Emmitt (Car), Jett (KC), Bruce (NO), Sharpe (Pitt), Wilkins (NO) and the Cardinals (Wash). The series is tied 2-2 with Coach Johnson winning in Week 6 38-20.
Swami went 4-2 for the week, bringing his record for the season to 39-37. With one week left in the regular season, the Swami has elevated above the .500 level for the first time all year. A glance at Week 15 in the chrystal ball appears as so:
Natural Mystics (12-2) -10 Hog’s Breath (3-11)
Palace of Swords (7-6-1) -2 NFC Norris (6-8)
PMS (11-3) -10 Beer Spillers (5-9)
Greenback Iguanas (8-6) -3 Crawling King Snakes (7-7)
April’s Supercuts (7-7) +4 Grande To The Party (6-8)
Bone Club (6-8) -2 Strange Highways (5-8-1)