Week Eight Newsletter

The Palace of Swords continue to be the hottest thing going in the OFFL this 2000 season as they won their 5th in a row this week with a victory over the 2-6 Strange High Daze. Looking for a change of fortune, Coach Widtfeldt brought in the moving vans late Wednesday evening and packed up the team. Henceforth, they claim to call themselves the Strange Days. When asked for his opinion, Cassius Clay was quoted as saying, "It sounds like a publicity stunt to me. My good friend Bobby Moore wasn't happy when he heard about it either. Nor was Lew. But then again, it takes a lot to make Alcindor laugh." The Swords were got 10 points from QB Jeff Garcia and 9 from Steve Christie. Randy Moss and Jerome Bettis added 8 more. The Highways were again led by a kicker, this time Joe Nedney and his 10 points. New QB Doug Flutie debuted with 8 points. Eric "I'm really much better in a yardage league" Moulds also had 8 points. This was the 7th time in 8 games that the Highways failed to top 30 points. The 6-2 Swords, now 5-2-1 lifetime vs the Highways, will play 3-5 Grunkmaster G next week. Coach Widtfeldt and his Strange Bothways will play their 100th career OFFL game next week (along with Coach Wassem's Mystics and Coach Will's Gigis). Who better to do it against than Coach E's old friends, 4-4 PMS?

All World, coming off a hard luck defeat in Week 7, rebounded with authority in posting a 44-36 victory over Howe division co-leaders King of Dogs. All World was led by Rich Gannon and substitute starter Chris Warren with 12 points each. The dependable Rod Smith added 8 more. A defensive TD All World cinched the victory for All World before Monday night's game. The Dogs had another large game from RB Edgerrin James, who scored 14 points. Brad Johnson tallied 12. Terrell Owens scored another 6 points for the week. The Dogs fall to 4-3-1 entering next week's game versus the 2-6 Bearded Clams while 3-5 All World meets the 5-2-1 Natural Mystics next week.

PMS ended its three win skid with a high scoring victory over the Greenback Iguanas. It was their 2nd straight win over the Iguanas dating back to Week 15 of last season. K Martin Gramatica led the way with 14 points. His 14 was matched by Lamar Smith's 14 points and Wayne Chrebet's. Peyton Manning, Tim Biakabutuka and Tim Brown all scored 12 points each for PMS. The Iguanas tried keeping pace, led by Marvin Harrison's 14 points. Emmitt Smith, Tony Gonzalez and David Akers all added another 8 points to the Iguana cause. But despite their 46 points, the Iguanas fell short as PMS was off to the races for a final score of 78-46. The win vaulted PMS to 2nd in league scoring on the season despite their .500 record. Their 78 points was a team record. In their 6th OFFL season, they had never scored more than 51 points in a game ever and had only cracked the 50 point mark 3 times in their six seasons. All three of those previous 50+ point efforts came during their strong 1997 season when they finished 12-3 before bowing out in the 1st round of the playoffs. Now 5-3, the Iguanas retained their hold on first place in the Cheatem division as all division members lost in Week 8. Next week, they'll play the 5-3 Retreads while 4-4 PMS plays the 2-6 Strange Highways.

The NFC Norris, aided by Coach Forrest G's generosity, stole their Week 8 affair by the count of 48-30 defeating Coach Will for the 1st time ever after being 0-4-1 lifetime. Coach Will forgot to turn in his Week 8 lineup and it cost him. Had he started Tim Dwight, it probably would not have made a difference because, even though Dwight scored, it's likely he'd have started for Ismail. Ismail scored too. Of course, had the Gigis benched Marcus Robinson (unlikely, but one never knows), it could have made a difference. Had Dunn started, it would have been for Levens (who had the bye week). That one's a scratch. BUT-since Wilkins was injured, his replacement would have been K Kris Brown, who scored 16 points. So, adding 16 to 30 would have given the Thighmasters 46 points. Supposing Robinson HAD sat, Coach Will might have pulled it out 52-48. Ouch! It cost. In addition to Coach Nerz's Norris, other happy teams included the Natural Mystics, King of Dogs and Retreads. Take nothing away from the Norris though. They played a good game. Steve Beuerlein tossed 3 TD passes and had a 300 yard game. Tyrone Wheatley busted an 80 yard run for a TD and got the bonus points for the 100. And Mike Anderson, Roland Williams and Mike Vanderjagt each added 6 points to the cause. For the Gigis, Kimble Anders (say, "Thank you AO") scored 14 points. Torry Holt and Rocket Ismail scored 6 points each. As bad as the loss for Coach Will was the fact that QB Kurt Warner broke a finger in his throwing hand and will miss the next 4-6 weeks. However, Coach Will has Warner's backup Trent Green (say "Thank you AO" again). The Norris is now 4-4, winners of 3 straight. Next week, they'll play Montezuma's Revenge (4-4). The 3-5 Blandmasters will now have to contend with the high flying 6-2 Palace of Swords.

Montezuma's Revenge entered this year's game against the Retreads believing they had a shot at their first ever victory in the series. But by the end of Thursday night's Lions-Bucs game, their hopes were already dim and as Sunday passed, the lights went out altogether in Georgia as the Retreads posted a 51-33 victory in Week 8 to run its all-time record over the Revenge to 4-0. James Stewart got the Retreads started right away on Thursday night with 22 points (3 TDs, 100 yards and one 2-pt conversion). K Jason Hanson added 8 more Thursday night. Daunte Culpepper was the icing on the cake with his 13 points on Sunday. The Revenge got 14 from Stephen Davis, 8 from QB Chris Chandler and 7 from Sebastian Janikowski but it was not nearly enough for the Revenge. Now 4-4, the Revenge meet the NFC Norris (4-4) next week while the 5-3 Retreads play the 5-3 Iguanas in what should be a colorful affair.

The Natural Mystics, with the taste of last season's crushing and playoff preventing Week 13 42-41 loss to the Bearded Clams still in the back of their minds, once again found themselves in a tight battle with the pesky 2-5 Clams. However, after crossing their fingers while Rickey Watters, Kevin Johnson and the Jaguars defense went scoreless down the stretch, the Mystics held on for a 49-46 win in Week 8 action. In a very fortunate turn of events for the Mystics (what's this? Fortune for the Mystics in 2000? Now the Commish has seen everything), the Mystics were thanking Jah for the fact that the Clams chose not to start WR Albert Connell (21 points) against a porous Jag secondary. The Clams still made it interesting with Ricky Williams' 20 points and another 14 from WR Isaac Bruce. The only other Clam to score was K Todd Peterson, who benefited from an uncharacteristic offensive Chief performance (albeit versus the Rams) to hit for 12 points. Lady Luck smiled, too, with the in-game injury to QB Cade McNown. Yet, the Mystics still did their part with 14 points from the suddenly productive Cris Carter, 11 from Gary Anderson (the NFL's new all-time scoring leader) and 10 from Brian Griese. Marshall Faulk and Michael Pittman each scored 6 points. The Mystics, 5-2-1, meet 3-5 All World next week while the Clams try to turn their season around against the 4-3-1 King of Dogs.

League Records:

• PMS scored an all-time team high 78 points, shattering their previous team record of 51 points set in 1997. This was only the 4th tiime as a team that they've surpassed the 50 point mark.
• PMS and the Greenback Iguanas combined for 122 points, the 3rd highest total in league history slightly topping last week's game between the Palace of Swords and All World.
• Every team in the league has hit 50 or more points in at least one game this season with the exception of those bunkmates the Strange Daze and the Bearded Chums.
• The only two teams have not allowed at least 50 points in one or more games this season. They are the NFC Norris and the Strange Duhs
• James Stewart's 22 points was the 7th highest single game total for a running in OFFL history. The record is Stewart's 32 in 1997 for the NFC Norris against the Crawling King Snakes.