Week Two Newsletter

Despite leaving the starting kicker back at the hotel, the King of Dogs garnered a tight 24-19 win over the Palace of Swords in Week 2. The Dogs got just enough scoring from Edgerrin James (12 pts) and TE Jackie Harris to go 1-0-1. The Swords had hopes of pulling it out on MNF but Curtis Martin was held scoreless vs. the Pats. The Swords were led by the Seahawks D and Randy Moss with 6 points each in falling to 1-1. The Swords will play 2-0 Montezuma's Revenge next week while the Dogs will face the winless Strange Highways.

All World proved to be less than that as Coach Dourisseau's boys dropped a 50-43 Week 2 decision to Montezuma's Revenge. The Revenge improved to 2-0, the first time they've ever won their first two games of the season. They were led by QB Marc Brunell, who tossed 3 TD passes and threw for over 300 yards on the day. Balanced scoring throughout the rest of the lineup proved to be more than All Conference could handle. All Conference was led by QB Tony Banks stellar day. He had 21 points on 5 TD passes and a 2 pt toss. However, the All Weird skill players forgot to show up for this one. Only Rod Smith contributed to the cause, scoring 14 points. Quadry Ismail failed to float under even one of Banks' five TD passes. Now 1-1, a slightly humbled All Weird team will try collecting themselves for a Week 3 game against the 2-0 Retreads while the 2-0 Revenge hope to improve to 3-0 by defeating the Palace of Swords.

PMS continued its mastery of Grandmaster G, this time with a 49-33 Week 2 victory to take a 4-3 all time series lead. PMS was led by Peyton Manning's 14 points and 12 points from Antonio Freeman. K Martin Gramatica chipped in for 11. Thighmaster G got 13 points from K Jeff Wilkins and 6 pts each from QB Kurt Warner and TE Stephen Alexander. Once again, the ground game was abysmal for Coach Will. Mike Cloud got stopped twice inside the 2 including on a 4th down attempt to turn the ball over on downs. The last time Grandmaster G began the season 0-2 was 1993, the first year of the league, when they began 0-6 (the year of the Emmitt Smith holdout and the year that, according to Coach Will, he wasn't trying). PMS rebounds to go 1-1 before facing the Bearded Clams next week. G will try getting off the schneid against the 1-1 Greenback Iguanas.

Jimmy Smith turned in the 5th best NFL performance of all time for a WR and the 4th best ever in OFFL history, scoring 21 points en route to a high scoring 57-47 victory over the Natural Mystics. The Iguanas also got 10 points out of their defense as the Guanas overcame the 47 points that the tough luck Mystics put on the scoreboard. The Mystics were led by 12 each from QB Brian Griese and TE Jay Riemersma. The Iguanas improve to 1-1 and play the 0-2 Grandmaster G next week while the Mystics, who have already seen their 1st two opponents combine for 95 points against them, hope the assault ends against the NFC Norris in Week 3.

The NFC Norris blew the lid off for a convincing 61-36 win over the Bearded Clams, the team that cost Coach Nerz' team a spot in last year's playoffs. The Norris had 3 players score in excess of 10 points: newcomer RB Mike Anderson (16), Steve Beuerlein (14) and Tyrone Wheatley (12). The Clams got 18 points from K Mike Hollis and 12 from Rickey Watters but it was too little to keep up with the high scoring Norris on this day. The Norris evened its record at 1-1 before meeting the Natural Mystics next week. The Clams dropped to 1-1 and will play against 1-1 PMS in Week 3.

If they can't blow teams out by scoring 50+ points a game, it seems they'll do it by getting 16 points from their kicker and watching the other team fail to capitalize. So it was for the Retreads in Week 2 as they held on to eek out a 28-25 win against the Strange Highways. The Highways may yet explode at some point this season but, thus far, their pop gun offense has failed to bail out Coach Widtfeldt when needed. RB Thomas Jones had several chances to score inside the five yard line but failed to do so for what would have been the winning score. Rather, it was K Jason Hanson's 16 points that allowed the Retreads to net the win. The Treads, 2-0, will play All World, 1-1, next week while the Highways, at 0-2, will play the King of Dogs.

League Records:

• The combined 104 points by the Iguanas & Mystics is 13th all time.
• All World's Tony Banks scored 21 points, the 9th most ever by a QB in one game.
• Jimmy Smith's 21 points was the 4th most ever by an OFFL WR.
• Mike Hollis scored 18 points, the 7th highest single game total ever by a kicker.