ALLY
Famous for kickin in gobby wee chav's and generally for getting off his tits. Ally (once a legend in the tav) is the co-founder of Zoltan, and is 1 of 2 members that has PLATINUM membership to the zoltan club. "aye man, i'm pished.... again!!!"
Lighweight status: ****
Moment of Glory: shagging Craigs mum and when she brought out the 10" black warrior asking, "is that going in you or me!??!?!?"
Boony certainly does enjoy a good beverage has a tendency for leavin clubs early when pished!
Lightweight status: ***
Moment of Glory: running 3 miles to buy everybody a chippy in Edinburgh!
NEIL
Neil shows up to the party late, and always ends up the most fucked. A cheap date for the women. Always will buy a round, generally an all round good guy!
Lightweight status: *
Moment of Glory: been drinkin in the Tav since he's been 13! his maw is the brawest maw!
DARREN
Darren is always pished, you can see his brain if you look through his ear. Funny when pished. Darren is well known for his onion! Also known well for his many RANTS that he has!
Lightweight status: ****
Moment of Glory: Bringin his bird up to visit the ZOLTAN crew for the first time, leavin her to down shotts with his mates. Comin back and her passin out blamin a fellow zoltan member "A L * Y for puttin date rape in her drink. Once drug tested she was then told... "naw, yer just pished!"
IAN
Related to DAZ aka the onion! had to be added due to his Moment of Glory (see below) Continuing the family traditional sayin "Vodka makes me angry!"
Lightweight status: unknown as we've only been drinkin a few times
Moment of Glory: comin down the tav for a few beers wi Whiplash Mikey an Boony, whilst on the way home, finishin a fight after a ned started a ruck.
MICHAEL
Mikey once known as the FA CUP is a skinny wee runt whos favorite word is Fuck Mikey can not say anything without this word. This man makes tea in the RAF.
Lightweight status: * when on pints **** on vodka!
Moment of Glory: Shaggin craigs maw. This year he has also texted Craigs maw askin for a spit roast wi Whiplash. Mikey has won her ASS in a sissors paper stone tournament wi Whiplash
CRAIG
Overall a good guy, when there is a round to be bought, Craig disappears. This man has the smallest willy (the button mushroom all you can see is the head!) This man is the first wi a kid (well the first known kid anyhoo)
Lightweight status: ***
Moment of Glory: drinkin tesco value lager and tesco value bitter after Mikey rimmed the glass with his flithy cock!
ROSS
This man can drink a bottle of baileys in under 5 seconds and still stand! he may be fat, he may be ginger, he's no a ninja, but we still love him!
Lightweight status: *****+
Moment of Glory: drinkin his own body weight in bevvy at his own stag doo, his father in law (also at the stag doo)must have been so proud then!
GORDON (Boony!)