1. How do you drive a blonde crazy?
--Hide her hairbrush.
2. Why do you take a blonde shopping with you?
--So you can park in the handicapped spaces.
3. Why does a blonde wear panties?
--To keep her ankles warm.
4. What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
--Artificial intelligence.
5. What is the difference between a blonde and a 747?
--Not everyone has been in a 747.
6. Why did the blonde have a bruised belly-button?
--Her boyfrind was blonde too.
7. How do you give a blonde more headroom?
--Adjust the steering wheel.
8. How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
--Wave.
9. How did the blonde get hurt raking leaves?
--She fell out of the tree
10. How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle?
--Shine a flashlight in her ear.
11. What did the blonde say after her boyfriend blew in her ear?
--Thanks for the refill.
12. What do you call 10 blondes standing side by side?
--A wind tunnel.
13. What do you call a circle of blondes?
--A dope ring.
14. How do you drown a blond?
--Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
15. What do blondes put behind their ears to attract men?
--Their ankles.
16. What goes VROOM! SCREECH! VROOM! SCREECH! VROOM!
--A blond at a flashing red light.
17. What does a blond say when she opens a box of Cheerios?
--Look at all the doughnut seeds!
18. How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday?
--Tell her a joke on Friday.
19. What do you do if a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
--Pull the pin and throw it back.
20. Why did the blonde have a hard time making Kool-Aid?
--She couldn't get all the water in the little packet.
21. Why couldn't the blond make ice-cubes?
--She didn't have the recipe.
22. What is a blonde's mating call?
--I'm soooo drunk!
23. Why don't blondes like to wear hoop earrings?
--Their high heels keep getting caught in them
24. What do you have when there are three blondes in a corner?
--An air pocket.
25. How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer?
--There's white-out all over the screen.
26. What do you call a virgin blonde?
--A newborn
27. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
--They're both empty from the neck up.
28. Why don't they give blondes coffee breaks?
--It's such a pain to re-train them afterward.
29. If a blonde and a brunette fell from a building at the same time, who would hit the ground first?
--The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.
30. Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
--To see what was on the other side.
31. What do blondes and cow pies have in common?
--The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
32. What do blondes and turtles have in common?
--Once they're on their backs they're screwed.
33. What's the other difference between a blonde and a 747?
--A 747 only goes down occasionally.
34. What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
--Rebel without a clue
35. How do you know when a blonde is having her period?
--When she can't find her pencil and her tampon is behind her ear.
36. Why did the blonde have a square chest?
--She didn't realize that she was supposed to take the kleenex out the box.
37. Did you hear about the blond who lost 85% of her brains?
--Her husband died.
38. Why can't blonde's fart?
--They don't shut up long enough to build up the pressure.
39. What does a blonde say in the morning?
--Who ARE you guys?
40. What did the blonde say after having sex?
--So, are you guys all on the same team?
41. What do you call a dozen blondes in the freezer?
--Frosted Flakes.
42. How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
--13. 1 to make the batter, and 12 to peel the m&m's.
43. Why do bondes drive BMW's?
--Because they can spell it.
44. What do a group of blondes have in common?
--Nothing they can think of.
45. Why did the blonde get 17 other people together to see a movie?
--Because 'under 18' was prohibited.
46. Why do blondes poof their hair so high?
--To catch everything that goes over their heads.
47. Why was the blonde happy when she finished the puzzle in a week?
--The box said '3-5 years'.
48. What do blondes and computers have in common?
--You don't know what you're missing until they go down.
49. What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
--Gifted.
50. What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
--People have seen UFO's.
51. Why did the blonde get fired from her job at the m&m factory?
--She kept throwing away all the w's.
52. What is the difference between a circus and a group of blondes?
--A circus is a cunning array of stunts.
53. What do you call the skeleton of a blonde found in a closet?
--The winner of a hide and seek game.
54. How do you confuse a blonde?
--Tell her to alphebetize m&m's.
55. What does a blonde that lives in kentucky say after sex?
--Get off me daddy.
56. If Santa Clause the Easter Bunny and a smart blonde all jumped off a building who would hit the ground first?
--Neither of them because none of them exist.
57. What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
--You run because she has a grenade in her mouth
58. How do you know if a blonde has been using your computer?
--The joystick is wet
59. What do you say to a blonde that won't give in?
--"Have another beer."
60. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
--The more you bang them the looser they get.
61. What do blondes and spaghetti have in common?
--They both wiggle when you eat them
62. Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
--Because she crawled accross the street with a 'Don't Walk' sign.
63. Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
--She saw 911 on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
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