Imapplement Proceedings

On December 2, 1998, the House formally announced they would begin imapplement hearings against President Pat. The vote was unanimous (one to none). Because this is a newly developed procedure, the House does not need the input of the President or the disbanded senate. He does have the approval of the Postmaster General (which he tried to disreguard).

The reasons for the proceedings were twofold: the House believes that it his sacred duty to update the USP webpage, and this is the best he could think of; and the term 'imapplement' coined by the Postmaster General's General was too good to let go.

If the House does imapple the President, his term will be reduced from "Life" to "990 Years." If not, the Postmaster General will be reassigned to Nomans Island, the small island recently captured by the USP somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

Want to let the House know what you think of this whole ridiculous nonsense? jestb@hotmail.com.

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