To you, Valentine's Day is:

   (a.) Okay;
   (b.) designed to crush the spirits of single people everywhere, emotionally crippling them for another 364 days;
   (c.) a day reserved for schmoopy couples who shop at Freedom, are in possession of too many allen keys and drive cars with matching licence plates;
   (d.) dead to me.

When your worst enemy at work receives a big bunch of roses on Valentine's Day, you think:

   (a.) "Good for them. Perhaps she/he has a lovable side after all";
   (b.) "I wonder how long it will take for the rose-coloured anthrax to kick in";
   (c.) "I'm so glad I put my therapist's number on speed dial";
   (d.) "I don't think anything. I just put down my copy of The Bell Jar and find myself drawn to the seductively bright lights of the office microwave."

When evening falls on Valentine's Day, you can be found:

   (a.) sipping wine by an open fire with your beloved;
   (b.) pouring wine on to your beloved, attempting to push him/her into an open fire, chanting "Burn! Burn! Burn!";
   (c.) drunk, ringing your ex and singing Alanis Morissette's song You Oughta Know down the line;
   (d.) in the corner of your bedroom, in the foetal position, rocking back and forth and murmuring "Happy place, happy place" over and over.

If you chose mainly (a.) answers, good for you, but your kind isn't wanted here. Nick off. If you chose mainly (b.) (c.) and (d.), I'm not really sure what it means. (What am I, your therapist?) This weblog is designed for you and your mental health.

Valentine's Day can be a little difficult to get through if you're single or in a relationship with someone too cheap to buy you a lousy card. After all, this is the holiday that is represented not by a big jolly man in a red suit or a cute little bunny, but a small, semi-naked punk armed with a crossbow. It's clearly a holiday designed to hurt.

Luckily, two Australian authors have brought out books this month that may be a salve to your festering Valentine's wound.

Hating Valentine's Day by Queensland author Allison Rushby reads exactly the way it sounds. It's a romantic comedy about a woman who, fed up with blind dates, speed-dating frenzies and looks of pity from her married friends, decides to boycott relationships for one Valentine's Day. That's hard to do when you're a wedding photographer and Valentine's Day is your biggest work day of the year - but the protagonist, Liz Hetherington, is one determined woman and she's having none of the Valentine's Day commercialism this year.

Rushby has a track record of writing novels that strike a chord with her readers and, frankly, incite them to vent their feelings. In 2000, her first novel allmenarebastards.com spawned websites on which readers started swapping details about men who had done them wrong and that others should avoid dating.

This time her website (allisonrushby.com) offers a message board for people to share their worst Valentine's Day experiences. Of course, there are the usual sad stories of people getting dumped on Valentine's Day, but there also are some really funny ones, like the guy who went lingerie shopping for his girlfriend and was holding up a red, lacy piece of something or other when a saleslady came over and asked if it was for him!

If your deep-seated bitterness means you can't quite focus on a novel, it might be a good idea to grab a copy of Happy Endings by Sydney author Kathy Buchanan. It's like a pop-culture almanac - designed to prop you up, fire you up or stop you from throwing up when life throws you a curve ball. Let's say you've been dumped or are suffering from unrequited love. Turn to page 91 and Buchanan suggests you watch films like The Wedding Singer, Snow Falling On Cedars, The Way We Were and even Swim Fan (think Fatal Attraction meets the Olympics).