The other horrible thing about New Year's Eve is that it's all about reflecting. Reflecting on your lack of achievements. Reflecting on your stuff-ups. And reflecting on all the things you said you'd do and never did. Who needs to be reminded of past mistakes? And, more to the point, why dwell on your own mistakes when you can dwell on someone else's?

With that in mind, let's take a look back at the year: a year when Rove said the f-word on television, Paris Hilton allegedly tried to distribute her own sex tape and Fatty Vautin was conked on the head. And not by Rebecca Wilson. Here are my top 10 lessons to learn from other people's mistakes in 2005:

Lesson One: It's never a good idea to road-test a new hairstyle on national TV. Especially if it's...well, hideous. When Ian Thorpe appeared at the Logies sporting a mullet, he did something that neither politics nor religion nor Delta Goodrem has been able to achieve - he united our nation.

From Broome to Brisbane we let out a collective horrified gasp as we watched the world's ugliest mullet present an award for something. (Who knows what is was? We were all too busy staring at Thorpie's hair.)

Lesson Two: Just because your hotel telephone isn't working, it's a good idea not to bash someone with it. Russell Crowe lived up to his reputation of having the emotional stability of Taxi Driver's Travis Bickle when he assaulted a hotel worker in New York's Mercer Hotel because he couldn't get a line out.

Lesson Three: If you work in a hotel and you see Crowe coming towards you - duck.

Lesson Four: Just because you really like something, that doesn't mean you should copy it. You would think we'd have learnt from the dismal failure of the Aussie versions of What Not to Wear and Survivor. But nope. Clearly Aussie TV execs have the IQ of dog food and the determination of Kate Moss's nasal septum, because handfuls of dosh were thrown at an Australian Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, which bombed after three episodees.

Meanwhile, Channel 9's Today Show, sick of being steamrolled in the ratings by Channel 7's Sunrise, employed its very own short funny weatherman, who started - somewhat awkwardly - cracking jokes and eating toast on set. Nine also did everything it could to "freshen up" Tracey Grimshaw bar putting her hair in pig-tails and shoving braces on her teeth.

With Grimshaw's resignation comes the news that Today will be anchored by Nikki Webster and the Blue Wiggle in 2006.

Lesson Five: If you're going to cheat on one of the world's most beautiful women, don't do it with the nanny in front of your kids. Jude Law once again shows he has the appeal of Casanova and the brains of Anna Nicole Smith.

Lesson Six: If Oprah is one of your most loyal customers and she wants to come to your shop, let her in. Despite being one of Hermes' biggest customers, when Ms O attempted to enter their chi-chi Paris store she was, allegedly, turned away on the guise that the store was closed. Despite the fact other shoppers were shopping.

Lesson Seven: If you're good at playing the board game Operation (or even if you're not), you have a future with Queensland Health.

Lesson Eight: No matter how much money they offer you, never appear in a movie starring Madonna, Ben Affleck, the Olson Twins, Hilary Duff, Jennifer Lopez or Mariah Carey.

Lesson Nine: Hunter Tylo and Steven Tyler are not the same person.