Well, do I have a blog entry for you. The answer to your problems is Popstrology.

Hooray, you cry. But what's popstrology? According to its creator, Ian van Tuyl, Poptstrology is the science of the popstars - a revolutionary method for gaining self-knowledge by examining the alignment of the pop music charts on the date of your birth.

Naturally, van Tuyl's written a book about it. In Popstrology: The Art and Science of Reading the Popstars, van Tuyl explains in elaborate (and satirical) detail how Popstrology works. The book is about 400 pages long, so I'll give it to you in a nutshell. It's about identifying which song was No. 1 in the charts on the day you were born and looking at which artist was the most heavily played during the year of your birth.

According to van Tuyl's theory, these songs and artists have been the biggest influencing factors on your life. "Perhaps the roots of your chronic restlessness lie in the fact that you are an Abba born in the Year of Debby Boone," says van Tuyl. "Or perhaps the key to finally overcoming your crippling sexual inhibition is to acknowledge that you are a Pat Boone born in the Year of Elvis Presley. Popstrology can be a powerful tool for revealing the source of any number of conditions."

The real questions to ask are: What happens if the No. 1 song when you were born was Billy-Ray Cyrus's Achy-Breaky Heart, and what kind of person comes up with this stuff in the first place? (Answer: an American.)

Van Tuyl was struck with the idea of Popstrology when he discovered that the No. 1 song when he was born was I'm a Believer by the Monkees. "On an intellectual level, I wasn't exactly sure what to make of this fact, but I knew in my gut that there was something deeply, even disturbingly right about it," he says on his website popstrology.com.

"So much of what defined me - my strengths, my weaknesses, my struggles - made perfect sense when viewed against the backdrop of the enterprise that launched the wholly artificial, yet clearly irresistible Monkees. I began to ponder the implications of being born at a moment when America threw its embrace around a made-for-television rip-off of the most important group in pop-music history, and suddenly the pieces started falling into place."

Um, okaaay. Enough from him. With prodding from my pal Anthea (who e-mailed me about Popstrology in the first place when she was surfing the Net, but only because she had an exam to study for, obviously) - I'm going to give this a whirl using my birthday. According to my research, the No. 1 song on the day I was born was Harry Nilsson's Without You. Never heard of this song? Sure you have. It's the song Bridget Jones sings along to at home when she's drunk, depressed and in her pyjamas.

Now let's take a look at the life of Harry Nilsson since I'm technically a "Nilsson" in Popstrology terms. "Nilssons" could be described as slightly eccentric and definitely original. Harry Nilsson was the guy who wrote "You put de lime in de coconut" - that faux Caribbean ode to the dangers of cocktail experimentation. Since he was the father of six children, "Nilssons" obviously breed like rabbits, and are survivors. Harry Nilsson led the same alcohol and drug-fuelled lifestyle as Hendrix, Joplin, Brian Jones and Keith Moon but he lived to tell the tale. However, it is claimed that it was meeting Una O'Keefe that saved his life.

The good news for "Nilssons" is that Harry and Una remained together for life. "Nilssons", apparently, love profoundly. The bad news is that life doesn't always run according to plan for a "Nilsson". Despite becoming very wealthy (running a recording company and living in Bel Air), Harry got ripped off by one of his assistants and was left bankrupt. And finally, it seems that "Nilssons" are destined to die of natural causes. I'm not likely to go down in an aircraft crash, choke on a ham sandwich or OD on a drug cocktail. Nilsson died of a heart attack.