Reichert: Longshot has come out... But who are these three men with him?!
Zane: He's in the ring... Now who gave HIM the mic?!
Longshot: I know what you're all wondering right now...
Reichert: Yea, we all wanna know who these men are...
Longshot: How does he manage to look do good every single time he comes out here? Well, that's my secret, but what I wanna get to right now are these men with me tonight... Since Dead-Drool, The Spank-ler, and those two other losers decided to take a hike, I took it upon myself to go out that get the biggest... The baddest... The meanest bunch of tough guys you'll ever see! Introducing... The best submission wrestler that the RWA has ever seen... The mysterious... MASKED DEMON! Whatta ya got to say there Dem?
Masked Demon: Grrrrrrrrrr...
Longshot: That was the single most intellegent thing I've ever heard anybody say here in the RWA...
Joe Bob: Heh... He's right...
Longshot: And now... The biggest, baddest, and meanest TAG TEAM in the RWA... 7-foot 2-inches tall and 440 pounds of LUCIFER! And his tag team partner... A man with no soul and total disregard for his own body, not to mention yours... BLACKHEART! Guys...
Lucifer: ...
BlackHeart: ...
Longshot: Well said... So now that that is all out of the way, let's bring out Death Jester and his cod fish...
[The lights in the arena dim and C.O.D.'s music plays as the entire Covenant of Death except Terry Von Ruden make their entrance into the arena...]
Zane: Oh, I can see it coming now... This is going to be gang warfare...
Joe Bob: Should be interesting to see what happens in this one boys...
Reichert: We might have a preivew of our battle royal right now...
Zane: Death Jester is in the ring, and thank God he's telling his men to stay back... Longshot sees what Jester is doing and he calls his men back as well...
Reichert: We're ready to get under way...
>>>Fast Forward 8 minutes>>>
Zane: Oh my God! Death Jester just tossed Longshot over the counter of that refreshment center! There's good and beverages everywhere!
Joe Bob: This is gettin' messy...
Reichert: Jester lifts up Longshot... He just slammed him down onto that tray of Coke's!
Joe Bob: Told ya!
Zane: Jester's going to pick him up, and... Oooooooooooo! Low blow by Longshot! That had to hurt...
Reichert: And Jon Salvatore is just there to make a count... There's nothing he can do about that!
Zane: C.O.D. and Longshot's new crew just surrounding their men as they fight for everything they're worth...
Reichert: Longshot throws Jester back over the counter and he leaps off the counter with an elbow smash on the fallen Death Jester...
Joe Bob: My God...
Zane: Nice to here ya, Billy...
Joe Bob: Ya know, this match is just so extreme... I just like to sit back and watch...
Zane: Well that's not what I pay ya for, Billy, but whatever...
Reichert: Longshot now going to whip Jester into a concrete wall, but Jester reverses it... Oooooooo!
Joe Bob: Oooooooo...
Zane: What a sickening thud... Longshot just collided with that concrete wall at full speed, and what's this?! Oh no!
Joe Bob: Oh my God!
Reichert: Jester just sent Longshot flying down the arena steps!
Zane: Death Jester follows the man down the steps, and thank God they're bringing the action back to the ring!
Reichert: DJ sends Longshot flying into the steel guardrail... And nails him with a clothesline, sending him over the rail and back into the ringisde area.
Zane: What's this? I think Jester is trying to tell Cpl. Punishment to get into the ring... Punishment is in the ring, just watching the action...
Joe Bob: Look over there Zane!
Zane: We hadn't seen Chronos and Body Count anywhere, but they're coming through the crowd with chairs... They're gonna sneak attack Longshot's guys!
Reichert: Oh my God! Almost in stereo, Body Count and Chronos nail Masked Demon, Lucifer, and BlackHeart with those chairs!
Zane: Meanwhile, Jester has thrown Longshot in the ring, where he is double teaming him with Cpl. Punishment! They're setting Longshot up on the apron...
Reichert: While that's going on, C.O.D. just continues to beat on Longshot's guys with those chairs... And look at this...
Zane: Oh my God! Jester just went to the outside and powerbombed Longshot from the ring apron through our Spanish announcing table! See ya later, Tito! They're right next to us!
Reichert: And now the first pinfall attempt of the night... Death Jester places one finger over the body of Longshot and Salvatore makes the count...
Zane: One.. Two..
Joe Bob: THREE!
Reichert: It's over...
Garrison: The winner of this EXTREME DEATH MATCH... DEATH JESTER!
Zane: Damn, Billy... Wouldn't be surprised if you won some kind of award for your commentating contributions throughout that match...
Reichert: C.O.D. is celebrating in the ring... Let's go back to Michael Rizzotte...
[Scene opens in the backstage area with Michael Rizzotte standing with Trent Malady...]
Rizzotte: OK, I'm standing here with the former World Heavyweight Champion, Trent Malady... And Trent, tonight, you get your chance at revenge against a member of Da Messiah, Axon Blade, for costing you that title at our last event...
Malady: ...
Rizzotte: Well, what about your shot at the title that you'll be getting at the pay-per-view? You'll be facing either Nuke or Trent Malady next week...
Malady: ...
[Malady just stares at Rizzotte and walks away...]
Rizzotte: Uhhhh... Well, OK... Trent Malady apparently with nothing to say... He's on his way to the ring...
[The scene shows Longshot being helped to the back by Masked Demon, Lucifer, and BlackHeart back in the arena...]
["The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson begins to blast over the PA system...]
Joe Bob: Oh yea! Here he comes!
Reichert: Axon Blade making his way to the ring...
Zane: Accompanied by the lovely Danielle Exell... And now Blade has the mic! Who gives these guys mics anyway?!
Axon Blade: Lemme take this time... To say a little something before I wrestle Malady... Now first, I would like to take this time to dedicate this match to my mom, who unlike all you inbreeds, did not breastfeed me... Secondly, to my beautiful fiance, Danielle... Heh... Always wanted to say that on a mic... But how can I forget about all those people out there who supported me?!
[The crowd pops for Axon...]
Axon Blade: Hey, fuck off! I wasn't even talking about all you nickle and diming Hammonton Slime!
[The crowd begins booing Axon loudly...]
Axon Blade: Lastly... I dedicate this match to Satan, who will be responible for my brutal actions tonight. And who I made a pact with earlier... As soon as I am done beating Malady, I have the privelage of FedEX'ing his ass straight to Hell! OK, OK... Just one last thing... I would like, right now, to read you a poem that I wrote earlier this evening...
Tonight your scream for your mommy will be heard...
And after this match-up, you won't be dead...
But your ass will be layin' in a hospital bed!
[Axon throws down the mic and stands in the corning, waiting for Malady...]
["The Ledge" by The Replacements blares over the PA system as Trent Malady makes his entrance into the arena...]
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