Top Ten
Signs You've Hired A Bad Department Store Santa

Lines In Bold Are My Personal Favorites.

10. He wears the Santa costume all year round.
9. Tells salesgirls that "Me and Mrs. Claus have an understanding."
8. After every toy request says "Yeah, right."
7. Tries unsuccessfully to hide the fact that he's wearing handcuffs.
6. Charges $5.95 for the first minute; $2.95, each additional minute
5. Every day around 10:00 AM, throws up on the down escalator
4. Keeps sending elves out for more vermouth
3. Whether they want it or not, gives every kid a crewcut
2. Keeps reminiscing about his vice presidency under George Bush
1. He's packin' heat.











Return To Top Ten Page
Return To Brady's Home Page
This Page hosted by Get Your Own Free Home Page
1